HAVE YOU BEeN THROUGH?

Question

Have you been through a suicide? how did u get over it? im gonna let u know that she was my best friend........and she passed about three years ago?

Answer 1

My childrens father committed suicide. We were divorced but the best of friends.

The natural reaction is the "what if I had ...." questions that always pop up after the suicide.

You have to remember that this was something they felt was the only way to beat what ever demon they were fighting. My ex husbands was drugs and alcohol. He had been to "treatment" and had family support on all sides but could not beat it. He chose the only way out he felt would be best for him and in some sad way what he thought would be best for his kids. "they would be better off without me"

We lived each day after as best we could and remembered all the best things. The kids have grown, married and 2 have had children so far. Each year the oldest takes his ashes to his favorite fishing spot and tosses in some ashes and a beer. It is her way of honoring her dad and his day.

You never get over a death of any kind, you simply learn to live through it and learn to live without the person but you never forget them and you alway miss them.

You also have to move on with your life. Do you think that the person who died would want you to live a dead life? Don't you think they would rather you lived a full and happy life and remember the good times?

You must let go in order to heal. I am sorry for your loss and hope that you get through the pain. Know that there are many of us that were left behind with no answers to tell us why. He left no note so we are left wondering what & why.

Oh and it is ok to be mad as heck at them, dosen't mean you love or miss them any less.

I hope you find peace. We eventually did.

Answer 2

Unfortunately... Yes, I have been through a few. The first was my Father when I was very young. Then a couple of friends along the way. To be completely honest with you, I don't think the pain ever truly goes away in the end. Suicide is not like a normal passing of a loved one. It caries with it many, many different emotions. Grief, pain, confusion, anger and the general question of why. The why is something only that person will fully understand and the more you try to figure it out the more questions arise. I am truly sorry to hear about your friend, I feel for you from the bottom of my heart, I really do. They say time heals all wounds, and it does but some wounds leave a big nasty scar on your heart. Suicide is one of those wounds. Good luck to you in life and I hope to god you never have to go through that ever again.

Answer 3

Melissa, She was my best friend. She taught me hoe to stand up for myself. She shared wisdom with me I never understood until I was 18. When this knowledge was given she was only 9. She was the smartest person I have ever known. I'll never forget her. She was 16 when she passed. She jumped. I don't think you can ever get over, only learn how to live with it. All the advice I can give you is don't feel guilty about having a smile. It's OK not to be miserable every day. Don't let what happened with her kill you too. It's been two years now sense she's been gone and nobody will ever take her place. I just live for both of us now and I do everything she was unable to do. When I miss her I look at the stars and pray for rain. Melissa taught me to love the rain.

Answer 4

Please don't take this as harsh, but this is what a counselor told my son when his friend took her life.

You must move on. She left you here, by her choice. You will always remember her, you deserve that, and so does she. Honor her memory each year on a special date of some sort, NOT the day she took her life. If you didn't fully morn her soon after her death. Mourn her NOW, grieve NOW, grieve deeply and cry openly and hard. BUT after you mourn her, and deeply grieve her MOVE ON with your life. Suicide is a very selfish choice and a selfish thing to do even though she may have seen it as her only way out. Mourn for a short time and go on with your life, you must... you are here and she isn't. Know that you are special and kind for loving your friend, but don't let this consume your life. I wish you the best.

Answer 5

I'm sorry to hear about your best friend. The best thing for you to do is think of what she would want. She wouldn't want you upset or miserable right now, she would want you laughing, enjoying life, meeting new people. That is what I think she would want. Again I am sorry for your loss. Good Luck