how to shield or prepare a child for the social reticule of there parents religion?

Question

1. ok I’m pagan my husbands is Christina, where talking about having children I’m worried about the teasing and reticule and judgmental behavior my child will go though for having a pagan parent in a VARY chrisgin area. I know that I wnet thought a lot in school. I didn’t say god when we said the plage and I didn’t pray with the other children. Even though I went to a puplic school it was still in a back water little town that still dose that type of stuff. So religion is a vary sisnitive spot for me. How do I explain to my children to not hate others for what they have dose to our people in the past and still not force my religion on to my child?

Answer 1

I am pagan, my husband is christian, we have kids and we live in a very religious village so I can some what relate to your concern.
With having kids, you have to expect they will be teased, weither its for what you beleive or how they dress. It happens, no way to advoid it. The best thing you can do is tell your kids (if you decide to have any) to accept others for the way they are and don't take it to heart when some one says some thing negitive. If the teasing is due to what you beleive just tell your kids that some times when people do not understand some thing they will say bad things but it is ok because every one is intitled to their own oppion. The worst thing you can do is tell your child that the other person is wrong.
If your worried about pushing your religion onto your kids, then don't talk about the gods and goddesses with them or the sabbats. Don't hang a pentagram in every room and dont perform any rites infrount of them. If they ask you about god you can tell them that god is a being that alot of people pray to who lives in heaven. If they ask you if you beleive in god just tell them that you beleive there is a god and goddess or you can tell them that you beleive there are many gods. If you are not wanting to push your ways onto the kids don't tell them anything unless they ask and when you answer never say it in a manner that sounds as if your way is the only way. The worst thing you can do is tell them there is no such thing...THIS is pushing your ways onto them. Also, you do not want to give them more information then they would be able to understand. When a question is asked, answer it in a simple manner. Don't give a long speach and dont go into grave detail.
My kids have recently started asking questions about god and jesus and want to know more about them so I have been letting them go to church with friends and some of my family has helped them answer some questions as well. Like you I do not and will not push my ways onto my kids.
I wonder if you and your husband have talked about how they will be raised as far as religion goes. You realy should talk this over BEFORE you have kids to save any problems that could arise latter down the road.

Answer 2

I am a pagan in the bible belt, so I feel what you are saying. I dont, and havent, forced religion on my son. I do, however, explain my religion to him. Its funny, for a long time I kinda hid my religion due to fear of ridicule or whatever. Now I wear my goddess necklace everyday and you wouldnt believe the postive response I receive! Some just think its pretty, and others that you would not believe come out (as pagan). Just live your life without fear and raise your child as I believe you know in your heart you can. Blessed be.

PS.. As I am sure you know, chritianity has more than alot to do with paganism. You may be able to explain it so that both you and your husband are satisfied. You know, like the Virgin Mary is really just an aspect of the maiden,etc. You can email me if you would like to talk more-or not.

Answer 3

I am finding it hard to take this posting as real, but here is my two cents. First, I am assuming you are Pagan and your husband is not Christina, but Christian. If Christina is a religion, I apologize but I have never heard of that. Also, I am questioning why, if your husband is a Christian, he would marry a Pagan? Obviously, his religion is not that important to him nor yours to you if you married a Christian. Also, you two have to decide what religion you are going to raise the child and when the child is of age, he/she can choose for themselves. I was raised Baptist and am now Catholic. It was my choice at 12yrs old and I am in my mid 30s now.
I don't understand the ridicule you experienced unless you walked up to people and said, Hi my name is ___ and I am a Pagan? I don't know of any of this going on in the school I went to and certainly not in the school my children go to. I was not raised in a large town and we do not live in a large town, everyone knows everyone pretty much. How do you explain to your child not to hate? Don't teach them to hate or judge people based on their religion, sexual orientation, color, etc. Religion is a sensitive spot because you make it so. I don't make a big deal out of my being Catholic, and I am freinds with Muslims, Non-Denominational, Methodists, etc. I love people for WHO they are. If asked my opinion, I certainly give it, but I don't do it defensively or with the intent to make the other person feel wrong. Also, can I suggest you take some English classes or writing classes to brush up on your grammar and spelling that will greatly help when you do decide to have a child. Good luck to you both!

Answer 4

OK. First off, children dont know prejudice...they learn it. I think as long as you're a good role model they should be fine. I was raised Catholic by very open parents. Even though Catholics generally look down on others my parents taught me to appreciate others views and beliefs. My godfather was Jewish, I was in Christmas pagents at the small Methodist church down the street, etc.

I have an 8 month old daughter that we had baptised Catholic. (My husband is Methodist, neither of us really go to church though) We plan of raising her in the Catholic church but now I dont want her to think that her dad's religion isnt good enough. I figure we'll explain the differences in our religions and when shes old enough she's going to do what she wants anyway.

I think regardless if you believe in God or not or would probably agree that you should treat others as you would like to be treated. That's just a general rule of good karma! I think just concentrating on raising a happy, productive member of society that is accepting and appreciative that we live where we CAN choose what religion we want to practice should be a parents' priority.

Answer 5

I think it was irresponsible of you to have married a man who is not of your religion and now you're going to subject your children to the same madness.

Oh sure, you and him may not care right now but TRUST ME when the children come things go to heck. Why? If he's a true christian he will impose his christian beliefs on his child. Therefore ridiculing you because of yours. You will feel left out.

OR you will impose your beliefs on the child(ren) and ridicule his by mere fact you do not participate in his beliefs.

Either way, you're in the wrong place. Please either never have children (tube tied, the whole nine) OR divorce now while you still can.

I'm an Animist (practices and beliefs of native americans) and there are none of those around here. I married a non practicing anything and was fine, but then he got a change of heart and turned catholic. By that time though, the loser had left and I didn't have to worry about it. (he is a loser for other reasons, not his religion)

However, had we stayed, I would have had serious issues with my child being raised catholic. There are things in catholic belifes I do not care for and I have plenty of "nightmares" for what the christians/catholics did to our people in the name of their God.

I don't mind that she learns of different religions. BUT I do not believe she should HAVE TO do any religious thing until she, herself, has chosen it. When she gets older she will choose.

I have told her some but not all of what the christians have done, I have told her why I am not one of them. However, I told her, I will not love her any less if she chooses to be one.

Anyway, I digress... bottom line is, please get out while you still can. Pagan and Christian do not mix. You'll have to trust me on that. Either he gives it up or you do. That's the only way you two can stay together and raise a family.

Answer 6

you say that your husband is christian, and you are pagan. you two found common ground and you can raise a son/daughter on that common ground. my parents were raised in two different religions, they raised us to respect others and that we should walk away from others who treat us badly. but there is a book that I highly recommend for you. it is called "living in the face of reticule" it is written by a man I know very well and it has helped me and many others. it was written for teens but I think that you would be able to learn from it.

Answer 7

I'm drawn by your comment that you don't want to force your religion on your child. You will have to realize that you inevitably force your religion on your child - especially if your religions truly means anything to you. One of the points of having children is instilling your values - if you're not prepared to do that - don't have children. Imagine if you're child wanted to be a Christian - I'm sure you'd do things to minimize that want - or at the very least criticize those who may have led your child to that want.

Answer 8

No child should be subject to reticule. Prepare him by telling him that other little children may try to reticule him, but that he should just walk away and not listen to any of them.

Answer 9

When your child is old enough to understand, sit him/her down and explain all different types of religion to your child. Don't put down any religion or overly compliment a religion. Just tell him/her the straight facts. Tell him/her what religion mommy is and what religion daddy is, why each of you follow that religion, and what your beliefs include. Let your child decide what religion s/he wants to be.

Answer 10

just a comment,please do not force any religion on your child.when they are old enough to ask questions or make comments about it,then is the time to explain all religions and let him or her choose.they won't get ridiculed for what religion YOU are,no one should know what you are,it's what he or she is and practices that could be an issue with peers.i didn't go to school blabbing about what religion my parents and family were - no one cared,it never came up.