I had a lot of trouble with my mother in the past but I have tried to make it up to her the last couple of years. I had to move back home and am working. I pay part of the bills and I don't try to stir up trouble with her.
Lastely it seems that everything I do is wrong. Everything I cook is wrong, I vacuum wrong..she complains about everything. My siblings who are older can do something and get away with it, but if I do it- I get yelled at.
I am 32. She reads my mail or doesn't even give it to me and she wants to know who I talk to on the phone. She tells me when to go to bed too.
How do I let her know that enough is enough and I want some respect from her?
2007-03-15 08:13:45 · 11 answers · asked by lonelykuroinu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You should save your money and find your own place to live, as long as you live under her roof your mom will feel a need to pry into your personal life
2007-03-15 08:19:05 · answer #1 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the club. Some of us are the chosen children. Not the favored. We bust our butts, do what is right, try our level best and still get the short end of the stick. Don't know why but that's just the way it is.
Two adult women living together, especially mother/daughter, causes a huge clash. You see the world of today and she sees what it was in her generation. It's never the same world.
You can try to sit and discuss things but in the long run it is her home, her rules and she is allowing you to be there. It is not your right as a child.
Yeah it really bites to know that the other siblings are looked at more favorably but it is something you will have to deal with until you can afford to get back on your feet and on your own. The only advice is ...smile and nod. Do things her way until it is time for you to move.
She's your mom, I am sure she loves you in her own way. I went through it too. I had 3 kids and had to go back home and she did the same thing to my sons but not my daughter.
If you can find another place to live do it. If not...grin and bear it till you can
Good Luck!!!
2007-03-15 16:00:28 · answer #2 · answered by mommakaye 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this may sound korny and cheezy but i have a 31 and 32 year old daughters and boy did we drive each other crazy at one time, not long ago even! Your mom needs to know that you did not ask to be born and the stress that she having for what ever reason is not your fault,you're trying and doing the best that you can,she needs to back off before she lose you! what i used to do when me and my girls were going at it? I took a long look in the mirror and decided to play a role reversal with them...on mondays the older one would be me and on wed the younger one would be me, this way you both get to see and say how you really feel! IT REALLY WORKED FOR US! IT'S BEEN A YEAR NOW AND IT'S LIKE WE WERE NEVER AT EACH OTHERS THROAT! TRY IT ! GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU BOTH!
2007-03-15 15:56:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to put on the kettle for some hot tea, and ask your mom to sit down at the kitchen table with you (with no interruptions, no tv, phone, pets, kids, NOTHING). You need to let you know that you are concerned about how she is treating you at this age. (Use sentences like "I get really angry when you don't give me my mail, or go thru it first", or "I feel as if you criticize everything I do, when I cook, vacuum, etc., it's wrong" ) If you use "I" terms it doesn't sound like an attack on her. It could help if you write down the issues first and then sit down for the talk with her, that way you won't get off the track and can cover everything that bothers you. Remember, if you act like a mature adult, she is more likely to treat you like one. Also, make sure you look into her eyes (direct eye contact). Good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-15 15:55:50 · answer #4 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to sit down and talk to her about it. Tell her the two of you have some things you needs to work out. Maybe try to spend some time with her, if she's willing. You may be surprised to find that the two of you have a common interest, something that will bring you together. If that doesn't work, then maybe its time to move out and let your mom get on with her own life. If she isn't willing to work at a relationship, then maybe it isn't worth it. She has to come around eventually...
2007-03-15 15:22:17 · answer #5 · answered by arwenlotr2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would save up your money and get your own place. My mom and I never got along when we lived together. I moved back home after my sister passed away (I was 19 at the time) because I wanted to be there for her. As soon as I moved back home the arguing started again.
I moved back out after 6 months. We get along great as long as we aren't living together.
good luck!
2007-03-15 17:05:42 · answer #6 · answered by GstefaniFan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 32. Move back out on your own and then you don't have to listen to what she says. You can always tell her off or just don't do anything to help her out. If she feels the need to complain about everything you do, then don't do anything to help her.
Personally, i think its time to get back out on your own.
2007-03-15 15:20:38 · answer #7 · answered by kelloggs322 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sometimes people are negative toward ONE child, but i have no idea what the reasoning behind it might be... my father was like that with me, too.
perhaps you could work toward moving out, or if you can afford it now, then move.
you're really too old to be living with your mother. but if you plan to stay, tell HER how you feel... maybe she will listen...
take care.
2007-03-15 15:20:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk to here try best do got do
2007-03-15 16:26:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray about it.
2007-03-15 15:48:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋