My wife is overweight and obsessed with food. What can I do?

Answer 1

First off...is your wife concerned about her weight? If so, you can help her by being supportive and helping her find a solution for healthy eating.

If she is happy with the way she looks, then this issue belongs to you. Even if your wife appears to be overweight, she has to want the changes for herself. You can't ask a person to change for you. Bringing her weight problem to her attention if she is happy with the way she looks will probably create a problem between the two of you.

Most women will tell you that they want to be loved for who they are on the inside...not what they appear to be on the outside.

If your wife is truly "obsessed" with food, she might have some type of emotional issue that she might need to get help with. A food "obsession" is basically an addiction and can be a sign of something deeper. Sometimes people use food to fill an emptiness inside of themselves.

Like any addiction, a person who is addicted to food, needs to be treated in a loving and supportive way.

In order to approach this subject with your wife, you shouldn't concentrate on her physical appearance. Everyone knows that being over-weight brings a multitude of health concerns. If you want to approach the subject to be supportive and to get some help, you should make sure that she understands that you are concerned for her health.

If your wife agrees that she needs to drop some weight and control her eating habits, you might want to encourage her to go to a Weight Watchers meeting. You can check the web to find out the times and places of meetings in your local area.

Weight Watchers is a great place to start. It's a supportive group of people who all struggle with weight or food control.

Beyond that, I think that your wife might benefit from seeing a counselor or other mental-health professional who might be able to help resolve hidden issues that might be causing some emotional pain and eating problems.

Most of all, I suggest that you be very sensitive and cautious when approaching this subject. You definitely do not want to give your wife the idea that your love for her is conditional upon her appearance.

Answer 2

How to motivate an obese spouse or family member to lose weight?
When you say/do nothing, you are not helping an obese person

By Pierre Coda





Have you ever noticed a couple in which one partner is in perfect shape and the other is totally out of shape. It always seems awkward and you often wonder what is wrong with this couple. Except for cases in which obesity is caused by a medical condition, in all other cases, we like to hold the spouse also responsible for his/her partner being out of shape while he/she is in great shape. (Note: While this article is written primarily for a couple, the same approach can be used for a friend or family member)

But wait; is it always that easy? Do you know how your spouse or partner will react if you told her/him that she/he was overeating and not exercising and looked not so attractive? It will not be a very pleasant conversation and that is why most of us do not even throw a hint. In fact to maintain the peace in the relationship, we even keep repeating "Oh, you look great. I love you the way you are...blah blah." The result: your partner does not realize what is wrong and continues on a path to self-destruction. And chances are that you are pretty depressed too. You probably look at other handsome men/women and are even tempted to cheat on your spouse.

Our verdict: No matter what the reason for your reluctance to tell your partner what is in the end best for her or him, but you have failed as a spouse/partner. While it is understandable how we try to avoid uncomfortable topics with our spouse, this is one area where you are not being helpful at all. In fact not only will your partner look less attractive, she or he is likely to have many more diseases due to obesity and probably die at a younger age. That means apart from the emotional trauma of living with an obese spouse, you might also need to spend more time in hospitals, more money on medical expenses, and of course, live without a spouse.

How can you help your spouse if she or he is obese and needs to do something about it?

First, think what kind of a person your spouse is. If s/he absolutely hates any feedback at all, do not be direct. If s/he is open to direct feedback, then also try not to tell her/him, "Honey, you are fat and ugly, and if you do not lose weight, I am leaving." On the other hand, be supportive, understanding, and sensitive.

We have found that the best way to approach the topic is to suggest something that both of you can do together. For instance, let us say that you think going on a diet is a great idea for her. What you should do is to suggest that for health reasons, you would like to switch to a lighter dinner three times a week. And then do it even though you are in great shape. Similarly, don't push her or him to go to the gym alone. On the other hand, organize physical activities together as a couple that provide physical exercise. So schedule a few days for hiking and you can join other people so that it does not seem that you are doing it as a way to lose weight. In fact, it will come across as a social activity.

Provide positive feedback but do not compare against previous appearance. So do not say, "Oh, you look much better than before." She or he is likely to interpret it as negative because it implies that you did not like the previous appearance.





Recommended link: How to lose weight fast?

Answer 3

Be supportive. If she doesn't think she is overweight or obsessed with food, you won't get anywhere arguing with her. Ask her to go for a walk with you or join the gym with you. Is she depressed??? What makes her eat? You should go get educated about obesity, with or without her, before you say or do anything. Plus, she probably needs a physical. She might be diabetic or have an overactive thyroid.

Answer 4

Tell her that you love her, but you are very concerned for her health. Then get her to visit her doctor to discuss it. If she will not listen to you, enlist the help of some friends or family to confront her about her problem: kindly and gently. Just get her in to see the doctor, and hopefully the doctor can explain the consequences of her problem and offer her some solutions that will fit her needs.

That's all I've got. If that doesn't work, you'll probably need to talk to the doctor yourself for help!

p.s. Locking the fridge and pantry is a stupid idea. For one, it will be insulting and demeaning to her. Second, it is all too easy to get around. You can't lock her in her room and keep her from running up to the store or hiding food.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Don't hurt her feelings! Most woman are concerned with their weight. Help her out let her know that you love her and you want to help her. This is good for her health, being over weight she has a higher chance of having diabetes and cholesterol. Tell her to cook healthy food, buy olive oil instead of the other one. If you have kids spend more time with them, buy a bike and go to the park. Play a sport or walk the dog around the block.

Answer 6

first of all u could try locking the fridge and pantry. Or if not that radical u could take her to a psycologist to find out y she's obsessed. u could also try moving her obsession to food to something like walking or being with the dog, etc. either way she might grow to hate u if too strict about it,and dont starve her.

Answer 7

Is she obsessed with food b/c she is bored?
Maybe she needs a hobby or a job to keep her busy.
Do you exercise? Setting a good example could be a good start.

Answer 8

Tell her in a loving way. Tell her you want her to look like she did when you got married and that you will help out in anyway.

Answer 9

get a lock on the fridge

Answer 10

hide the food!!!