How do I explain to my family that my Fiance is Wiccan?

Question

My Fiance is Wiccan and I grew up in a "God-Fearing" household. My parents are very open-minded and eager to learn about my Fiance's religion, but my grandparents are very set in their ways. How do I approach the subject with my Grandparents without them making a snap judgement about the man I am about to marry?

I would just like to add that I am not looking for negativity or answers that are coming from close-minded people. I am not asking to be judged by anyone, in fact, let he who is WITHOUT sin cast the first stone. I am looking for the best way to approach the subject with my grandparents. So if you are going to bash on me or my fiance, please refrain from posting. Thank you.

Answer 1

Talking and discussing and showing are usually the best way to approach the issue. Especially with family that is not too open minded.

The most probably answer to this will be that, given time, they may see their issues were unfounded and get to like him, and possibly love him.

There is a good book out there, rather simple and not very specific but works well as the explanations are simple enough and general enough that most folks will understand.

"When Someone You Love is Wiccan" by Carl McColman is a good primer. You might want to pick up a copy and give a look at the way he approaches the topics, some of the simple and well written answers he gives and some good advices. It may even be something you want to give to your parents and grandparents before discussing this with them, or even after discussing it. It may be a good lead into the discussion. Hit B&N and take a look at it before you buy it, it really is a good simple guide to what Wicca and paganism is really about, and is written specifically for this reason.

Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Look up the biblical verse that writes to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Ask your Grandparents what this verse means and about marrying a Wiccan.

My husband doesn't believe in Christ. He is probably my worst persecuter. Only verbally cutting me off or mocking anything I say about God or Christ. That is why I camp out here on religious/spiritual yahoo questions and answers. I have anxiety about these topics because of how much I've been wounded with these topics. But the wounds are mending much, since I can write much without someone telling me to shut up.

So, if you are truly a born again Christian, your Grandparents (if Christian) would warn you, of the discord in your future family life if you as a believer married an unbeliever.

Answer 3

If I know most people one of the questions that does not come up is "what is your religion?" Perhaps they can get to know him for who he is before what he believes. Just be polite about things that are of importance to them. Like bowing your head out of respect when a prayer is given at a meal. And a simple "Not thank you" if asked to go to church. Most people will not interrogate as to why not. But possibly once your parents understand perhaps if the subject comes up they can break it to the grandparents gently.
BB
)O(

Answer 4

How is it anyone Else's business but yours and your fiance's?

I am a Christian, my children are Christian. My son is in study to be a pastor. My husband, he is an atheist. It is none of my families business. They did not marry him, they do not share his bed or his life with him, I do.
The only time his faith becomes an issue is when my children or I bring it to the the Father.
Your family does not belong in your relationship. If they have questions direct them to your fiance allow him to answer their questions in a way you both have decided is best together. First, you must pray and ask the Father how best to answer. You could be the way He brings your future husband to Him.

Answer 5

The truth of it is that they may say something rude. You need to prepare yourself and your fiance for that possiblity. I have many people in my family that are against interracial dating. I am with someone that is Indian. To say the least, it's not easy sometimes. But, I am prepared for it and so is he. You need to talk to your parents first. They knew their own parents better than anyone else. Ask them if they could guage their reactions. Talk to your grandparents with your parents present before telling them about his religion. Don't bring him into the conversation until the shock of it has worn off. Good luck!

Answer 6

You cant tell them without making them upset. Its just a matter of if you want your grandparents to find out from someone else or from YOU.

If my own daughter had come in and told me she was marrying a Wiccan - YES! I would be major upset! But what could I do about it (unless she was underage)? Nothing, except blow steam and let he know why its wrong.

I wont bother preaching to you about the wrongness of what you're doing. You know its wrong and even now you feel tense about it, because your own spirit knows its wrong. BUT, you are going against that inner warning bell anyway.

How do I know its bothering you? If it wasn't bothering you, you would not be asking this question, you'd just tell your Grandparents.
You are seeking validation from people - and yes, you'll get validation from people who have not been called by God. If you are feeling wrong about it (and you are) Its because God has a calling for you - and you are entering a danger zone, going the opposite direction.

A wiccan is not an open or knowingly worshiping Satan as some Christians suppose, but by effect and ignorance, they are following an indirect religion related to Baal. Don't ignore the burning in your heart that warns you against this union.

I said I wasnt going to preach to you -and trust me, I didnt. I gave advice. Dont even, get me started, preaching. =o)

Lastly - I am not slapping you about, here. Just telling you what you already know.

Answer 7

I've actually helped people with this conversation a lot. I've found one of the easiest ways to approach it is to start out discussing how Wicca is a nature religion that reveres both a God and Goddess. Keep words like "magic", "ritual", and "witch" out of the conversation. Those are trigger words that will immediately feel threatening to those who fear them. The minute someone feels threatened, their mind is made up and they stop listening.

Answer 8

Sadly our elders are all too often stuck in their ways. The best way, in my opinion to go about it, is to pretty much avoid the subject when possible. Granted they may ask if he's saved and all, but he doesn't have to answer to them and neither do you. You're family should accept your fiance with open arms if you two are truly in love and he is good to you. Don't lie to them, but don't bring it up either. They will not understand.

Answer 9

You have no control over how your Grandparents will respond to your fiance's choice of belief.
You just say it and accept what happens.

Answer 10

I was reintroduced to a daughter I hadn't seen in 15 years recently. She was wearing a Pentagram around her neck; i noticed, but I didn't lecture her.
Your grandparents will know, also- can't hide that kind of thing from the old wise folk.If they are truly wise in the Lord they will do the only thing they CAN do- pray.
Let's hope your pagan fiance' will honor THEM.