My daughter is a nutter? help!!!?

Question

She's 10 and is as sweet as pie about 60% of the time, but the other 30% she goes crazy, swearing, storming out of shops, marching off down the street! Is it nerves, hormones or what, I'm at a loss what to do with her, help needed, before I kick her out of the house?

obviously 60:40 not 60:30!!

nicolefrenzy - thanks for your input love, very useful - NOT, everybody else keep it coming, seems I am not alone.

Answer 1

I say be a mum!! Sit down and try and talk to her, dont patronise her try listening!! And DONT threaten to "kick her out of the house" She is a 10 year old child!!!!!!

Answer 2

It`s frustrating being a parent. My oldest son is soo perfect at school. The teachers love him, he soo helpful, and kind they say. AS SOON AS HE WALKS IN THE FRONT DOOR, he`s the worst child on the planet. He won`t share, he picks on his brother, he argues, and he`s constantly on his bed for time outs. I feel like I`m the one causing him to act out.But, I`m patient, ( I think), I know he comes home to relax and veg out. But as far as your daughter is concern, she getting closer to adolescence and BOY, the mood swings are coming. She may be starting puberty, her hormones are raging. Poor girl will be starting PMS soon. It`s hard being young, especially today, ( all the mixed messages kids are getting). But, your feelings are normal, you`re frustrated, talk with her and tell her you love her. Tell her your here for her but you`re here to guide her towards doing the right things in life. You`re not always going to tell her what she wants to hear, but you do love her and want what`s best for her. I have a ten year old neice, she always storms off when I tell her that she`s acting out or she can`t have something. Ten year olds aren`t small kids anymore, but yet they are still kids . It`s hard because sometimes my neice can be soo mature and other times, ( about 30%), she acts like my five year old having a tantrum. Because when she storms off, she`s having a tantrum, plain and simple.I would let her cool off, and then approach her, and tell her it was unacceptable. BE COOL and CALM, show her how anger is managed!! Good luck, ps you are still a good mom, it`s the hardest job in the world to shape someone into a good adult!!! THUMBS UP TO YOU!!

Answer 3

She's 10 and female! What more do you need to know! It's all the hormones raging through her as she prepares for puberty which if not happening yet is going to in the not too distant future!
Cut her some slack! She doesn't know herself why she feels like she does!
As for the swearing! Are you sure you can honestly say she doesn't hear it at home? Just tell her quietly during one of the good times that you find her behaviour objectionable!
If you feel like kicking her out now, God help you a couple of years down the line!

Answer 4

lol, people crack me up. I have threatened to send my daughter to live with gypsies, when I'm really fed up. She's 7 and knows I'm kidding. How come all you adults can't get that she's kidding about throwing the kid out, she's just frustrated?

Anyway, to answer your question, I think a big part of it is normal child behavior. Bad behavior, but not uncommon. In my household it is referred to as either "running out of cute" or simply "losing her mind".

I understand the frustration, really I do. And it's even harder to have to jump into that ring of fire to deal with her (talk, discipline, etc). But you know it's necessary, of course. She needs to know that while it's okay to lose your cool, and okay to get angry, here's the list of things it's NOT OKAY to do:
1. Swear at your mother, EVER.
2. Leave a store without your parents
3. etc, etc, etc.

Allow her her feelings, just don't allow the behavior. And make it clear to her what the difference is. For example, you can say that if she's mad at you, and doesn't talk to you for the rest of the afternoon, oh well. If she's mad and storms out of the store, she's getting such-and-such punishment the second you all get home.

And don't forget, once she's all calmed down, to talk about what she was upset about. There's always a reason.

Peace & Love. Good luck!

Answer 5

How about making a star sheet where she gets stars for doing things like not losing her temper, helping around the house etc and if she gets most of her stars she can get a treat.

Put what the treat is at the bottom of the sheet so she knows what she is working towards.

Two of my friends have done this and says it helps loads one has a 3 year old and the other has a 10 year old

Reward good behaviour and ignore bad because she might be doing it for attention

Answer 6

Sounds like my son. My son is almost 4. (on may 3) and he is the sweetest little boy in the world and then all of the sudden if he doesn't like something he is throwing things biting himself, hitting me , disrobing, spitting etc. and you can't calm him down. He just has to sit in the corner for sometimes an hour or so til he cools off. Try talking to your daughters doctor and see if maybe a counselor or group may help her.

Answer 7

I ,as well have a 10 yo, who has "tantrums". Could definatly be a case of hormones, mark your calendar when these episodes so you'll have a good indication. Talk to her (when in a "good mood" of course), and set up ramifications for inappropriate behavoir and talk to her about your expectations that way she'll know what to expect when the inappropriate behavior occurs.
You might also want to check with the pediatrician just to be sure on your next visit.
Don't give up on her preteens need and want limits!
Good luck! :)

Answer 8

First off its 40%, second you do not kick out a 10 yr old child. Third of all, talk to her. If she is a sweet kid most of the time then maybe she has something going on with her. Talk to her and ask her what's wrong.

Answer 9

My daughter is 13 and acts the same way everyone tells me that its her age. And that all of this behavior is typical. From what I have heard they can start this at any age. I think it is hormonal because my daughter just got her period this past October and that is when it started. So maybe that is what is about to occur if it hasn't already. We defiantly correct her on it when she begins to act this way. Sometimes she even gets punished. I don't like to let her slide because she will think that its ok to act out and our other 2 children (boys) will begin to try acting the same way.

Answer 10

CHANGE HER DIET!!! I have three kids. The two oldest, ten years apart in age, were going on daily rampages, of foul language, tantrums, back talking and physically inappropriate behaviour, such as throwing objects, slamming doors and hitting others. Generally well behaved, just like your child in school, when at home they were holy terrors. Then one night, whilst watching the old LG, we were stunned to find out that there are a range of flavourings in our foods that have now been linked to abhorent behaviour in children. We immediately went to the pantry, and removed all foods with these additives. We then enforced a fresh food diet. We purchase our foods for the evening meals, fresh everyday. We keep heaps of fresh fruit all over the house, and tell our kids to just eat as much of it as they wish. We no longer purchase prepared meals, such as lasagnas, pizzas or canned meals. In their lunches they no longer get energy bars or fruit rollup type products. We use only multi-grained breads, especially with flax seed, which promotes good mental health. We eat fish and chicken, and have rationed red meat meals to once every two weeks at most. Breakfast is fresh juice, a fresh fruit and a bowl of high fibre cereal with no colouring or flavouring additives, cereals like Weet-bix, Shredded Wheat, Corn Flakes or Bran Flakes. Sweetened with honey or natural maple syrup. The change in our sons behaviour was immediate. Within days they had lost all their anger, and became relaxed and good natured. Not that they don't still have normal brotherly fights, but there is no extreme to their responses. Another thing we did, was to remove all video games with person on person violence from the video game collections. We left games such as driving simulators, sports and building games. This has stimulated an interest in other activities such as reading and thinking, which, anyone with a normal teenager can attest, is not a strong point. These were simple solutions to what seemed to us an unsolvable issue. We reap the benefits as a family, as we all eat much healthier, spend good quality time together engaged in positive bonding, instead of trying to calm a volatile situation and enjoy wonderful shopping adventures searching out new foods to sample.

Answer 11

her hormones are kicking in, i know it sounds early but most kids start puberty around 9, so the mood swings are due to this, be patient and the next time she kicks off just simply smile and say: "i know you are having issues right now, but i'm not going to listen to you until you calm down and can talk to me like the responsible person you are supposed to be" the first few times, she will scream and whatever, but soon she will calm down, unfortunately for now, you have to grin and bear it, as your parents once did. it will take a few years to sort itself out and it will probably happen around the same time every month until she starts her period, good luck