I have been with my husband for 8 years. he has been in prison for three years now. We have a son togother. i dont want to lose him but i know that i have to tell him but i dont know how. I was lonley and wanted attention. i dont know what i should do.
2007-03-15 07:00:46 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You say you don't want to lose your husband. You need to ask yourself if you love him. If you love him, are you willing to wait for him to get out of prison and continue your life with him? If even one of these answers is "no", then rather than telling your husband that you've been cheating, you should tell him you want a divorce because you feel the marriage has been harmed by your 3 years apart. That will hurt him, but it will hurt him far less than telling him you've been cheating on him when he couldn't be there with you. He is having a hard enough time being in prison where his OWN needs have not been met.
If you do love your husband and want to stay with him after he gets out of prison, then you need to stop cheating. Go to counseling to get help with ways to cope with your loneliness and your needs not being met. If you truly value your marriage vows, then you need to decide once and for all that if he can do without sex, then you can do it also. Believe me, he is having a much more difficult time in prison without you than you are having outside of prison without him. If you are unhappy, imagine how he must feel. He has to pay the consequences of his actions and that's why he is in prison. If you love him, you need to decide if he deserves to be hurt any further than he already is. Telling him about your cheating will not do him any good and will only cause him to be depressed when he is already confined and has no control over anything until he is released. It might ease your conscience, but will bring him untold pain. I think that if you really want to stay together, then you need to stop cheating and don't tell him. If your son is aware of your cheating, then that is another story, because your son might tell him on his own. Either way, I think counseling will help give you the answers you need, and if your son is aware of the cheating, then I think you should bring him along with you to counseling. Best wishes to you. I do hope things all work out for your family.
2007-03-15 07:20:24 · answer #1 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably already suspects you are cheating. He knows and all the guys in there know their chicks are cheating. If you tell him you have done it and probably wont stop until its close to his release date then your honesty may be a relationship saver. If he finds out another way he may hate you and feel betrayed. Whatever he did to put himself in jail, he chose to do and you shouldnt have to be alone cause he did something stupid.
Or you could just tell him you want his time in jail to be considered a seperation time for the two of you cause its to hard for you to deal with this on your own. He will figure then that your being with other people but wont hurt as bad as you saying your giving your body to someone else.
Good Luck
2007-03-15 15:34:18 · answer #2 · answered by InProgress:-) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop cheating and shut your pie hole. Why should he suffer for your selfishness. If you plan on staying with your husband after he gets released, then why continue this bad behavior and again, why should he suffer because you apparently don't know how to satisfy yourself.
2007-03-15 14:20:14 · answer #3 · answered by HDGranny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are telling him just to ease your conscience then for God's sake keep your mouth shut. Its your mistake you live with it. You dont have the right to make him feel hurt because of your mistake.
Im not being critical of you, i know exactly what youre going thru.
2007-03-15 14:06:50 · answer #4 · answered by Donna 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is in prison and has been for 3 years...... does he really expect you to not have any physical attention while he is in prison for something that he did?
He would be able to give you that attention if he really cared enough about you not to go to prison?
Wow......... I would just be straight up and tell him ........ I needed some physical interaction that he could not provide for you.
Are you suppose to waste your life away because he is?
2007-03-15 14:17:45 · answer #5 · answered by harleychickfatboy 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Sometimes truth hurts. It really does. If you did it one and it was nothing to you , don't tell him. I'm saying it because you can't be sure of his reaction and you don't want to do this to your family , do you? If you think that he'll understand tell it to him , but softly. The way I see it if he loves you he'll understand. Love is not only when you're in love and everything is fine. It's and when you need support and someone to forgive you , but of course you ought to do the same things for him.
2007-03-15 14:09:04 · answer #6 · answered by Sissy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow this is exactly what my sister is going through. her husband is also in prison and she has two kids with him but has been cheating on him. let me tell you now there is no easy way out of this situation and i know this for a fact. you need to be blunt and tell your husband how you feel maybe you should wait until he gets out though...i really wish you luck i honestly feel your pain i had my sister crying on my shoulder. i will pray for you and please stop cheating on him
2007-03-15 14:06:58 · answer #7 · answered by incubusgirl09 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
His falling down on the job, he is not giving you the attention a wife needs, a home , money children, car and good job is not all a wife wants. she wants her man when ever can to love her to appreciate her and what she is doing.take her and show her off to the world this is my wife. don't cheat. love your self
2007-03-15 14:51:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is only natural that you needed some attention, so no need to judge yourself so harshly. If you don't want to lose him, then keep this secret private...no need to make him suffer for your guilt. Once he gets out, then you won't need a boy toy on the side...no worries. Enjoy!
2007-03-15 14:07:14 · answer #9 · answered by seattlego 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Keep cheating on his A$$ cause when he was out he was probably cheating on you so what he want you to not get none for 3 yrs. so keep doing it u ain't cheating you are committing adultery
2007-03-15 14:21:53 · answer #10 · answered by rayveeka 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋