my baby sees grandma as mom I think?

Question

So I've said before I adopted a son with mairrage at 18. He had previously lived with Grandma for about 3 1/2 months because of things my hubby was dealing with...When I became his Mom he was 8 Months. (he is now 2) He became a real mama's boy right away but than I got pregnant and because of some circumstances we had to move in with the mother in law...and he became super close with her again...We have moved back and forth a lot but now we are back with Grandma (next door neighbors) (I'm planning on this being our last move). And he always seems frustrated with me and just wants to be with Grandma all the time and she is so good with him and I'm super intimitaded its almost like I'm his older sister and Grandma is suddenly Mom.....I don't know what to do......Can anyone relate or tell me what I should do?? I am now 19 and a mother of 3 ( I had twins) and I can't give all my attention to him like I"d like too

Answer 1

well being a step mom and not having children of my own,i can say that im sure it hurts and he feels that,ive not read ur past ?s but i assume his real mother is not in the picture right?,i think u feel overwhelmed alot with twins i would,and if he is close to granny thats great,she can give him the attention he needs right now,that u can"t,he is young and someday he will need u when gran is gone i dont mean to sound dark but its the truth, aswell u have the opportunity to stand back and show him that u r a selfless mom,but u also need to tell him everyday he is just as much ur chlid as the other 2 maybe he feels like u dont have time for him because of the babise and gran does,anyway i wish u luck youve got a long road with this boy,include him on changing the babies and when u have time between naps hold him and make due on ur promises,ur heart is in the right place let him know that

Answer 2

I know it is hard when it seems like someone is taking over your role as a mom. My mom has lived with us for over a year and I am 29. You should try setting some boundaries without hurting grandma's feelings. Talk to her and tell her how you feel. I'm sure she means well and is only trying to help out, but she may be doing a little more than a grandma needs to do. Maybe she could help you with the 2 little ones so you can have some one on one time with him. Having 3 little ones does require more than one person to get the job done! Good luck!

Answer 3

As this child gets older he will know who mama is. The relationship with Grandma is good, you said. So that's great. You may want to take one day and just spend time with him for a few hours. A time for just the two of you. Do something that interests him. Ask Grandma for some advise. If she is as wise as you seem to imply, she can help.

Answer 4

He's only two yrs. old.It is normal for him to like being with grandma as he has spent so much time with her.He will get older and will understand who mommy really
is but will most likely always have a special attachment to his grandma.He has been back and forth and likely somewhat confused being as young as he is.Just give him time.
You must put aside some time each day to spend one on one with him.He's only a baby himself and needs this from you.You need to make him feel special too and let him help as much as he can with the twins like a big brother.
I know this is hard as you do have your hands full with three babies but very important that you do so.
It's good grandma is next door as she will surely help out with the twins while you spend some time with him.She sounds like a very good grandma too.
I took care of a nephew for two weeks while his mom had a new baby.By the time I took him home he had forgotten his mom and I was mom.It was hard and I had to stay there for a week while they got reaquainted.His mom was devastated at the time but it all worked out very well.However,he is still very attached to me and he was only two yrs. old!!
This will work out.He is frustrated as each household has different ways and different rules.Just be patient and show him lots of love and affection.Get dad involved with all these little ones too.You are young and certainly can't do it all on your own.God Bless All Of You and good luck.

Answer 5

Grandma is his stabilty, she doesn't move, she always in the same house and they have bonded. But don't give up, my hats off to you for taking on a baby. Just let him know he is very important.

Answer 6

that is a great lady ortherwise you would be failing the love test to this kid. let the bond for his good,and when he grows up he will call you mom with alot of passion.
at the moment you could be feeling that you are not good for him it o.k especially with the blessing of twins.that was good rewarding for adopting when you did not have one of yours .be greatfull that the same god has given you a good mother in law
cheer up lady

Answer 7

talk to "MOM" and ask for her to talk to your son about being with you more since your his mother and grandma isn't.see if you can get more of his attention than grama.like buying everyone things(ice cream,toys,movies,ect.)

Answer 8

if she is a good person; let him treasure these days with her, trust me as he grows older and has friends, then sports, etc, he will see her as grandma, and you as mom, don't be worried, life changes.

Answer 9

yeah, that sucks