Im 23 yrs old. My older brother is 38(big difference)..But we were so close..iv always looked to him as a second dad,and my role model.Hes always been there for me and helped me when i needed anything.He was married for about 5 years or so..he has a daughter now..shes GREAT. I love her so much. well him and his wife divorced a few years ago and now he has this new fiance that is just pure evil!!Shes very jealous and mean.My mom had a plaque on the wall that my brothers ex wife gave her one year for christmas and the fiance cursed my mom out for having it still.And my bro let her!He used to be a big mommas boy!So i said something to her for speaking to my mom like that,and she cursed me out bad.Made me cry.Now she hates us and i never see my bro or my little neice.She wont let me talk to her..she wont answer when i call her.Why is my bro lettin this woman destroy our family that was so great!?Im now pregnant and wanted to share this wit my bro and my neice..What should i do?I miss them.
2007-03-15 06:55:45 · 15 answers · asked by MandiGurl M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
PS.. he always takes the fiances side and acts like we do something wrong.. i know he loves her, but what about us..the people that have been there for him and loved him all these years... Shes so mean. I just want my brother back and my little neice... IV tried just apologizing to be the bigger woman.. but she ignored me..
2007-03-15 06:57:02 · update #1
To aelenaj--
Yes.. the first wife was completely opposite... very friendly! we loved her.
2007-03-16 01:19:36 · update #2
I had a similar experience in my family. You have to just wait it out and things will get better. He will realize that she is ruining his family life. There is nothing you can do to "fix" this now. You have to be patient and hope that things work out for the best in the long run. You cannot control other peoples decisions and trying will only give her ammunition to use against you. I would continue to send him birthday and Christmas cards. E-mail him if you do now . . . basically act no differently. Send him a birth announcement and see if he responds. If you do not think he will get it if you send it to his house, send it to his work. Don't meddle in their relationship though. Just tell him that you love him and you miss him and sooner or later he will realize that she is controlling.
2007-03-15 07:01:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It depends if your family can afford it or not. Getting her eyesight 'fixed' wouldn't just be $100, it could cost over $1000. Can your parents even afford that for a dog that is so old? She could live only a few months but it is possible for her to live a few more years. If she died in a few months (I hope she doesn't), would it be worth it? Blind dogs are just as good as dogs with perfect eyesight. Just because she can't see, it doesn't mean that she won't be happy for the rest of her life. Of course a Vet is going to ask your mum to consider getting her eyesight fixed; they would get money out of it. I guess it depends on what your parents want to do. If they can afford the $1000+ surgery, then yeah, they should consider getting the surgery done. If not, no. Goodluck and I hope your parents make the right decision. Edit: icman87, you can't say "if they love the dog do it", it can't always be about how much you love the dog. Not only will it cost a LOT of money, it would be very stressful for the 12 year old dog to go under anesthesia for (probably over) one hour!
2016-03-16 21:07:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you but there is nothing for you to do to fix things.
My brother in law has a wife just like this and has been out of his 2 older brothers lives for at least 5 years because of his wife. Some men/women allow their spouse or mate to rule.
You and your family must either accept his choice and move on or politely tell him that you cannot and will not allow his new wife/fiance to attend family gatherings or disrespect your parents.
You could try going to your brothers work and talking to him at lunc or after work so you do not have to deal with the woman.
Your parents have recourse.....they can pettition the court for grandparents visitation and ask that the child be allowed to come to their home without the fiance.
It is sad when a child is put in the middle. Good luck with your pregnancy and I hope your brother comes around.
2007-03-15 07:07:12 · answer #3 · answered by mommakaye 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's your problem: you loved that first wife. The seond wife knows that and probably thinks she can never measure up so why even try. Maybe your brother realizes this and knows that's why she feels this way. So he defends her - because she can't measure up! All you can do is not cry when she curses you out - tell her that she's out of line and you want to make her a part of the family despite her bad manners. She knows she's wrong but she also knows you think she's evil. Just try to be as civil as you can to her. When she feels more confident and relaxed, it will be easier to deal with her but that's not happening soon. Be patient.
2007-03-22 08:09:30 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult situation. She is trying to find her place in your family even though she's going about it in the wrong way. She is probably jealous of his ex wife and the relationship y'all had with her. You shouldn't expect your brother to choose you over his wife. I'm sorry she is treating your family so badly. Maybe you should buy her a card for a sis-in-law and tell her that you are happy she is part of the family even if your not. In time she will feel more comfy around you guys just give it time. Try to forgive and don't hold grudges maybe she'll do the same. Congrats on your baby news. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-03-15 07:06:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh, I'm so sorry that is happening to you. Just hang in there and maybe keep your distance for a while. He will realize how much he misses you and how much she is pulling your family apart. It may take time but it is probably the best thing to do. If you are a praying woman (or even if you are not) it couldn't hurt to pray about it and that his woman's heart will change. That may be all you have while you wait it out with your brother. I'm so sorry. :( Blessings!
2007-03-15 07:05:26 · answer #6 · answered by Christi D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write a letter to your brother, tell him, how much you miss him, how sorry you are that things have turned out this way, and tell him I AM NOT THE ENEMY!!
Share with him, your happiness and tell him, that you want to do things right with everybody but everyone in the family, has to put anger and bitterness aside. After all, you love your brother and remember the good things. Make his fiance aware, that family comes first but don't treat her as an outsider. Sometimes, we have to swallow pride to regain family. It is really not so bad. Demand respect though. You are all adults!!
2007-03-21 09:23:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same situation as you, my mom married a man that we got along with good until they married. And now we don't even hardly ever see her ,but we have made the best of it. We still visit her even tho he hate us. He even went as far as to tell her doctor that she don't have kids. So we just left it in god's hand. And now he sees that we don't pay him no attention. He acts like he is supposed to. All grown-up and my mom used to take his side over ours. Now she sees why we act like he don't exist.So he's your brother go visit him if he can't visit you. And let him now the good news. And one more thing. " CONGRATULATIONS"
2007-03-15 07:17:27 · answer #8 · answered by Bet C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my in laws look at me as the evil one i guess...i was never close to my family and I don't understand how family can want to actually be together and hang out except on holidays...(thats how i was at first) now i understand a little better but maybe yall need to let go a little bit...she'll come around...maybe she had a bad upbringing and doesn't understand the concept of family...but the whole plaque thing was just plain immature....you should straight out tell her that is your brother and neice and you want to spend more time with them...my sister in laws did...then it opened up conversation to explain why i felt the way i felt about it...now we all get a long a lot better
2007-03-15 07:04:59 · answer #9 · answered by Lil'MissThang 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
well try to talk to your brother or meet him while he isn't with his fiance.talk to him and tell him how you feel.if you really feel bad about it and your talking to him you'll start crying.he'll probably think about it.if he does he will dumb his fiance.hopefully everything will be back to normal!well,best of wishes and good luck!hope everything is good!
2007-03-15 08:39:21 · answer #10 · answered by Jibjab 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋