I am 21 years old and I want a baby, no father just a child is this wrong?

Answer 1

I think you need to finish college, get a good job with insurance and get somewhat financially secure before you have a baby, father or no father. A baby is a huge financial as well as emotional responsibility. It is hard enough for two people to handle sleep deprivation for two months or more, paying doctor bills, handling a sick baby when you are sick yourself, the cost of daycare, clothes, food, furniture, and all the other expenses. I'm a divorced mom of a 14 year old, and now it's a new clarinet, private lessons, clothes, eventually a car. I have the good fortune of relatives who help me, and her dad is supportive of her too. You need to think past that sweet, cuddly little bundle you will bring home from the hospital and think of how you will give a child all the things you want to give it. You also lose the freedom you know now to just take off for a weekend with your friends, or stay out till 1 am; you will have to be home taking care of the baby. I can assure you none of them are cute or angelic screaming their head off at three am every time you try to lay them down after you have had no sleep.You may just be lonely right now, or need someone to care for. I know it sounds silly, but try raising a new puppy right now...they are enough of a handful trying to housebreak them! Good luck with your future!

Answer 2

I had this feeling at 26... so I know what you are feeling. And I was single too. I would cry whenever I saw a mom with a baby or walking her baby in a baby carriage. Tears would just roll down my cheeks. I did have a baby by age 28. I know you can have a baby without a father, however, give these thoughts a consideration before you make a final decision:
1) My first baby was great, she was easy going, didn't cry much and not even very loud. I thought, "why do women complain so much, I could have a dozen of these!" So, I decided to have one more... My Second baby... OMG, SHE CAME OUT SCREAMING AND HASN'T STOPPED, she's 18 now. She was a baby with collic, so I was up all night with her for weeks, hardly any sleep and still had the other baby to worry about and take care of (they are 16 months apart)... and on top of everything, I got post partom blues after having this one... had it not been for my husband I don't know what I would've done. I'll be very honest here, had I had the second child first, there would have never been a second child! Think this through long and hard first!!!

2) TEEN YEARS... These are tough, the hardest time I've ever had in my life. You DO NOT want to do this part alone!!! My husband and I were seperated when my kids were about 14 and 15. They would double team me. They were unfeeling, disrespectful, little know it all's, who only cared about going out with their friends and what their friends thought. And these were good kids. No, really, they were good girls. I went through two different boyfriends at this time. Men can love you so much, but it's hard for them to go through these teen years with all of you, especially when they are not their kids. And these guys were really great guys, who stepped up to the plate ready and willing to give it a go. Yes, teen-hood affected both these relationships! IT WAS NOT PRETTY. Thank goodness, my husband and I worked through our differences, and we got back together. We are still having tough issues with our girls 18 & 20 now. And they are not druggies, drinkers or sluts. Issues of mouthing off, disrespect, school work, housework... These feel like huge issues you DO NOT want to deal with these ALONE!!! Please, keep all this in perspective before you make a final decision!

I love my kids dearly with all my heart. They are the best things that have ever happened to me. They have their issues, but they are also loving, giving and have their great sides too! They are what love is all about. They are now and always will be mommies lil' Princesses!

Answer 3

It's not "wrong". However, having a baby at 21 with no father is irresponsible. Go ahead and daydream about the future...that's what I did back then, and now I'm happily married with a wonderful child. It was definitely worth the wait to do it the right way.

Oh and sidebar...Oliver T should be ignored. Most people get on yahoo answers for some advice, camaraderie and insight and he comes along all self-righteous and patronizing. IGNORE OLIVER T!!!

Answer 4

yes and no.. first of all, you are only 21 and unless you are highly successful on your own it would be somewhat selfish to have a child at this point in your life (im 23 btw). Also its wrong because whoever is getting you pregnant may want a part in that babies life... unless you go to a sperm bank but i dont think they would give to you. On the other hand, if you are highly successful on your own andhave a good mental and emotional status and you could be a good mother then you could do that on your own... make sure you let the guy know the plan beforehand though. ... all we need are more guys thinkin they can procreate with anyone and not have any responsibility.

Ashley

Answer 5

NO! there is nothing wrong with being a single parent. sometimes one parent can give more love than two parents. some advise though, i'm 38yrs old with an 11yr old boy (with a great father but we are divorced), and i had him when i was 27 and i can tell you that it was by far the hardest job and biggest responsibility i've ever had. i was so glad that i waited until i was older to have a baby and i knew that right away. when i was 19-22 i went thru the "i wanna have a baby or i wanna get married and have a baby" stage and i can tell you that the first week i had my kid i thought to myself "was i crazy when i was thinking that at 21??" you are 21yrs old, you should be out having fun with your friends...partying, going to clubs, shopping, going away for weekends, gambling, rafting, mtn climbing, going to college, etc., etc., or whatever it is that you do for fun! cause believe me, unless you have two sets of grandparents that want to take your kid for you every weekend overnite, you will regret it because those days of flying by the seat of your pants are over! you can't just make a quickie decision to go out that night or go away for a weekend with friends, you willl have to find someone to watch your kid and that is NOT as easy as it sounds. i was very lucky to have two sets of grandparents that loved taking my son on weekends so i was still able to get away and do things but most people don't have that kind of situation. so, be 21, 22, 23, 24 and THEN start thinking about the kid! UNLESS, you just have nothing better to do with your time and have no friends and no social life, then i guess maybe you might want a kid so you don't feel so lonely maybe. i just know that you have any kind of life at all right now, then you won't after you have a baby (& don't get me wrong, they are GREAT! just very time consuming and your friends will start to do stuff without you and quit asking because they are still on fly by the seat of your pants mode and you have now become a have to planner!)

Answer 6

you just haven't met Mr. right yet! A baby is a huge responsibility and it goes alot easier if you have a loving partner by your side, you are very young and still have a lot of time, let me suggest you take a friends or relatives baby for a day or 2 and take total responsibility for it. and your not even experiencing the cost and excessive tiredness that come along, Having a baby is really gonna cramp your style, you will have to work to support the two of you, pay for child care while you are working, then when you are totally exhausted after the day you are going to have to be up sometimes all night, even days if the child is sick or colicky, You will be lucky if you have time to take a shower. So you need to think long and hard before you decide to give up your life totally for 18 years.

Answer 7

my mom felt that way when she was 20 years old, had my brother at 21 and me at 22. she didn't want our dad, just his sperm. so we grew up without a dad. my brother didn't have the father role model and he is now a lost 21 year old, with a 3 year old daughter and no job. i don't think it really affected me as much, but i would have loved to have had a car when i turned 16 like my other friends who had a mom and dad. It was hard for my mom finacially. and when i was old enough to get a job i did, and thats how i bought all the things i wanted that my mom couldn't get for me. I recently found my dad on myspace, but im 20 now. i don't really care to meet him. I think you should at least find someone who will be there for their child even if they don't want to be with you neither. it can help you take care of you child finacially, and can help raising a boy. im pretty sure there is a guy who feels the same way you do. good luck.

Answer 8

I don't think it's wrong. I think you need to seriously think about this for a while.
You will be a single parent living on a single income.
Child care expenses.
Baby Equipment, School costs, etc.
Not having the emotional support from a spouse

I say if you are financially secure and have a good support system and if you have seriously thought everything out - then go for it. You only live once.

Answer 9

One of my best friends is the father to a young boy that he used to fight tohave visitation with. He loves his son but His girlfriend point blank told him she used him to get pregnant (faked birth control) and wanted a baby (no daddy involved) The boy is now in counsiling. The cousilour agrees that the boy acts out because he had no male role model to look up to and base half his behavior on. With this the mom asked the daddy back into there lives. If you realy want whats best for your baby you will consider the two-parent aproach. I am in no way dissing single parents- they are brave and very hardworking souls.

Answer 10

Not wrong, just selfish. A child should have a father around to balance the exposure of a woman. Having a baby isn't just about you, its also about the baby. Be fair. God designed the family structure for a reason.