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that did the proposing? Does anyone know how or why this is the tradition typicially? (I'm well aware that nowadays weddings are paid for by both sides or by the couple themselves, so you don't have to tell me that). I'm just talking about the old tradition. If it's the man that proposes, why then is it that it's the woman's parents that pay the bill? That seems weird to me. I would think if a man wants to marry me and he asks me then he should pay or his family should pay. Traditionally speaking, I mean. Just wondering your thoughts.

2007-03-15 06:11:51 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Weddings

17 answers

I think because traditionally the parents are so happy that he is taking the daughter 'off their hands.' Because back in the old days it was the male that would be working, and it was assumed that the wife would be staying home, so he is already facing a lifetime of taking care of her.

2007-03-15 06:14:56 · answer #1 · answered by Susan 5 · 3 0

It goes back to the good ole' days when most families were self sufficient. They were either farmers, or worked a family business. The men did most of the work that produced the tangible items for the family such as food for the table, & other items that could be sold or traded.
So sons were considered more valuable than daughters for those reasons.
Because of that common thinking it was considered normal for the brides family to offer a dowry (money or livestock etc) to the family of the groom since the grooms family was either losing a valuable breadwinner or gaining another dependant depending on whose family the bride & groom were going to move in with at the start of their marriage (which also happened more often than not).
It was also common for the grooms family to up the ante if their son was considered to be a desireable bachelor.
That is where other items such as paying for the wedding comes in. Besides, the brides family had good reason to celebrate. They were either gaining a strong healthy male into the household, or they were losing the financial burden of a daughter. Either way for them it was a win situation.
The family of the groom were losing the productivity of their son either sooner or later so they didn't feel like celebrating much, so the idea of paying for the celebration was all on the brides family.

So there you have it. Tradition born out of simple family economics. ;-)

2007-03-15 06:28:56 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 1 0

The man was responsible for taking care of the woman. And as an incentive for marrying their daughter the parents of the bride paid for the wedding and bride brought a dowry into the marriage. I guess the brides parents had to pay off the groom.

2007-03-15 06:18:45 · answer #3 · answered by AM 5 · 0 0

It comes from a time when a wifes family was expected to pay a dowry.

In societies where payment of dowry is common, unmarried women are seen to attract stigma and tarnish the family reputation, so it is in the bride's family's interest to marry off their daughter as soon as she is eligible[citation needed]. In some areas where this is practiced, the size of the necessary dowry is directly proportional to the groom's social status, thus making it virtually impossible for lower class women to marry into upper class families. In some cases where a woman's family is too poor to afford any dowry whatsoever, she is either forbidden from ever marrying, or at most becomes a concubine to a richer man who can afford to support a large household. Dowries have been part of civil law in almost all countries, Europe included. Dowries were important components of Roman marriages.

2007-03-15 06:17:58 · answer #4 · answered by maxexposure2003 2 · 0 0

first of all, do no longer assume something, using fact each and every couple is distinctive, each and every set of mum and dad is distinctive, each and every own condition is distinctive, and each wedding ceremony is distinctive. traditionally, the Bride's dad and mom HOST (plan, organize, and pay for) the marriage and reception yet that does no longer recommend it applies to each wedding ceremony. And right here is 4 cutting-edge genuine life examples . . The Bride and Groom have been "nicely paid" professionals and that they paid for his or her own wedding ceremony in its entirety. They paid for each and all the bridesmaids robes and tuxedo leases for the gents plus each and each attendant grow to be given $500 for weekend accommodations or commute costs. The Bride's mum and dad have been divorced for some years. The Bride's mom paid for each thing. The Bride's Father did no longer pay for something nor did he supply. And the Groom's Father did no longer pay for something nor did he supply. Neither the Bride's Father nor the Groom's Father names have been positioned on the marriage invitation. The Groom's dad and mom paid for each thing. The Bride's mum and dad did no longer even attend the marriage. The Bride's sister and brother-in-regulation paid for the reception (feast room condo, nutrients, drinks, and stay band) and the Bride and Groom paid for each thing else. the only thank you to unravel this predicament is to ask the two instruments of mum and dad on your place, if a threat, or some quiet place to communicate this undertaking. by employing having an open and candid communicate definitely everyone seems to be familiar with what each and each guy or woman is prepared to do (or no longer do). I even have continuously chanced on that if the Bride and Groom paid for a million/3 and the Bride's mum and dad pay for a million/3 and the Groom's mum and dad pay for a million/3 it works out nicely. And this branch additionally should practice to the visitor checklist, a particular form of travelers ought to be desperate like a hundred human beings, and then each and each couple is approved to ask approximately 33 human beings. Your wedding ceremony should not be approximately "administration" or "who's in fee." spoke back by employing: an approved wedding ceremony expert / a expert bridal representative / a wedding ceremony ceremony officiant

2016-09-30 23:22:33 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

it's all a male thing. The father is giving away his daughter, but really it was seen as him selling her off. The father use to pay a dowry to the future husband once he married the father's daughter. So the bride's side always paid for the wedding because it was seen as them getting rid of her and they paid the groom for taking her away. I like tradition but that seems odd to me especially nowadays where weddings cost so much. You'd need both sides paying for a wedding to have it like you want it.

2007-03-15 06:34:01 · answer #6 · answered by angelicasongs 5 · 0 0

It is not tradition in all cultures. I would assume it is because a female child was considered a liablility and paying for the wedding was a way of ther parents hanking the groom and his family for taking her off thier hands.

2007-03-15 06:27:16 · answer #7 · answered by CHELLE BELLE 5 · 0 0

The way it USED to be was that the brides parents paid for everything because they wanted to marry off their daughters. They also provided a dowry, so the guy would take her off their hands.

Times have, thankfully, changed, but that's where the tradition comes from.

2007-03-15 06:19:11 · answer #8 · answered by kj 7 · 1 0

It's common sense, it's the LAST bill HER parents have to fulfill concerning their daughter. The man was expected to pay for EVERYthing past the wedding. MUCH more expensive! ONE wedding compared to "til death us do part". Understand it better now? The change occured because of more women sharing the family expenses and number of divorces. Not many parents wish to pay for a wedding they feel is "sure to fail" or the parents are just too poor to splurge one last time.

2007-03-15 06:17:05 · answer #9 · answered by HeavenlyAngel 3 · 0 0

the old tradition is because the male was more valuable - he ran the farm he did the hunting he worked - so a family would pay the man to take care of thier daughter for the rest of her life - the same as a dowry

2007-03-15 06:20:04 · answer #10 · answered by Shopaholic Chick 6 · 0 0

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