If you had been with your partner for sixteen years, married nearly twelve, with two adorable children aged 5 and 10, would you throw it all away for a fantasy relationship with an person 5000 miles away in miami whom you have only spoken to via email and phone?
And would you try and take your children away from their dad just to fulfill your fantasy, Please help as this has happened to me. And all she said was "you can see them at the holidays, and its not as if they won't know who their dad is"
please please is this a mid life crisis, my wife is 32 years of age and I cannot understand, this is not rational behaviour or thinking.
2007-03-15 06:10:11 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Robert, I'm sorry for your misfortune and I do understand that you love your kids with all your hearts. The way she treated you was so cruel and so cold after all these years she has been with you. As from a man to a man, I can sympathize for your loss of your daughters and your family. Children need both a father and a mother figures in their lives; especially at the younger ages. I know, some women in this country can be so wicked, so greed, and unfaithful. Some of them can change their hearts as fast as they change their underpants before their husbands get home, so that they won't get caught cheating. Some women abuse the child support law, because they know that they can get a good decent amount of money from the alimony after they divorce their husbands. They can get child supports, and 1/2 of everything that they owned with their husbands, from house, cars..etc. Notice: I said some, not all women are like that. Based on what you stated here, I can tell that you are not ready for a divorce....Just try to convince her once again...see if you can change her unfaithful way. I don't know what else to say, man, I just hope that her guilty conscience hit her heart before the other guy hit on her(if you know what I mean). I think you're guy, and I do believe in Karma.
I hope everything will turn out bright for you if not for your marriage, for God's sake, at least the judge can let you have a custody of your kids!
Take care, Robert...You're a good man and life will not forsaken a good man like you!
2007-03-15 19:52:52 · answer #1 · answered by Infinite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not a "mid life crisis"..... Its called sin.
Let me give you an example of how sin works. A bad thought is like a bird. It hovers over you wanting to stand on your head to make a nest. When it gets close to you, you scare it off - that's you scaring away bad thoughts. But when you dont care anymore and let it stand on your head, it will make a nest. The bird making its nest is the process of the bad thought wanting to MAKE you act the thought. Once the nest is complete - when you have made a home for that bad thought, the next step is the bird laying an egg. The egg represents sin.
Your wife could have stopped this a long, long time ago... but she didnt want to ... Her first mistake was talking to someone other than you. What could she talk to him about that she couldnt talk to you about? Maybe arguments between you two? THat's not right in any relationship. When there's a problem between a couple, no one else needs to know about it.... You need to go to your husband/wife and tell them what's going on and what you feel. Talking to another man/woman about problems in your relationship, you open a door for him/her to a an opportunity. What kind of opportunity? An opportunity to say "Why is he/she treating you like that? If i were him/her, i'd never do that to you." It gives them a chance to make themselves look better and then...the next step is falling for that person because "they're better and would never do that to you".
Try talking to her, she's confused. If she's doing that because there's no communication between you two, tell her this will change. But dont just say it, do it. Communication between a couple is so important!! Even if its the smallest thing... If it needs to be said, it needs to be said.
I hope you understood. Im sorry this is happening to you. I wish you the best and God bless! : )
2007-03-15 13:31:57 · answer #2 · answered by Java Chip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you not understand the meaning of marriage. Supposedly you were supposed to stay with your wife through sickness and health no matter what. Why would you throw away a life where you can help raise your kids to be the greatest that they can be and grow old with your wife. Screw fantasy relationships you are older now and should experiment more with your wife. If I were your wife and found out this happened you would not be seeing those kids because if you aren't willing to help her raise them you aren't deserving to spend time with them.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but I hope some people will agree!
2007-03-15 13:15:33 · answer #3 · answered by MoMoChan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a fantasy; To rip the family apart because of that would not be a good idea. The person who lives too far away, and you guys don't spend any time together, neither of you knows the other well enough to make that kind of decison. She could be a control freak or worse! Stay where you are.
2007-03-15 13:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely Not!!! To have a relationship like that, is like having a gold mine all to yourself. Having someone that is with you all of those years is something that I want my bf and I to have, for years and years. That's horrible, and no it is not regular behavior...I'm 23 and wouldn't dream of throwing my life away for a fling. Why leave a sure thing for a maybe? Ask her that, and see what her reply is. GOOD LUCK!!
2007-03-15 13:16:26 · answer #5 · answered by N0+ 3@$!Ly &R0]{3n 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No offense but your wife is being really selfish. As a child who grew up in that kind of situation, it will really affect your kids. But at least you care about them, and maybe a judge will award you custody.
2007-03-15 13:18:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,you shouldnt,you have only spoke on phone etc,that is no basis to settle with the woman! think of what your throwing away,do you still love your wife? the grass isnt always greener-cliche maybe but its true!
2007-03-15 13:15:22 · answer #7 · answered by NATALIE W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i dont think that it is worth it. because maybe that person is just putting up a show for you on the phone. and once u get with her and everything is different ur gonna regret it. besides y throw away ur home?
2007-03-15 13:15:52 · answer #8 · answered by tily_mickey_luv 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard, but, if a woman is crazy enough to throw all that away then maybe you need to just try to forget about her.
2007-03-15 13:22:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she is not thinking straight, legally she can't move the kids more than 200 miles from you with out your permission or the courts plus with the new adultery laws you probably could get custody
2007-03-15 13:15:03 · answer #10 · answered by cowgrl3611 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋