do yall kno any funny jokes cause im bored??

Answer 1

One day a blonde hits a truck from behind. The guy steps out and draws a circle on the road, tells her to stand in the circle and not to step out. So the guys starts messin' with her car. He breaks her windsheld, she laughs. He turns around an says, "what's so funny?" She says, "nothing." He turns back around mad that she's laughing, so he starts keying her car. She laughs harder. So he turns back around an says, "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?" She says, "nothing, nothing." The guy is getting madder so he slits her tires. She's laughing so
hard she can't breathe. The guys says, "what is so funny? The blonde says, "While you where turned around I stepped out of the circle 3 times"....






The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment, to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began telling their stories.

Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have lots of egg laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car. We stopped suddenly and the basket went flying and the eggs all broke and made a mess."

"What's the moral of the story?", asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket", replied Ashley.

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next little Susan raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we got only ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is don't count your chickens before they hatch."

"That was a fine story Susan," said the teacher.

Then the teacher turned her attention to Little Johhny. "Do you have a story Johhny?"

"Yes, ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break. Then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed 70 of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then killed 20 more with the machete until the blade broke. And THEN she killed the last 10 with her bare hands!"

Good lord!", said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that story?"

"Stay the heck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."



3rd joke

An 'American' tourist couple, both sociologists, were walking the streets of a small town in Saudi Arabia. It was nearing the middle of the day and they didn't want to miss lunch at their ramshackle hotel-the only one in town and which always served meals promptly.

They came upon an old herder perched on a stool beside his camel. "Excuse me, sir," the man asked, "but could you tell me the time?"

The old man glanced at them, spat in the dirt, then turned and reached under his camel....and hefted the animal's testicles. After a moment, he released them. "It is 10 minutes before noon," he replied. The couple exchanged confused looks, thanked the man and hurried back to their hotel, arriving just in time for the meal.

Later that day, the wandering couple found themselves again on the same street and spied the old herder perched beside his camel, apparently unmoved. Curious as to how he could tell time by fondling his animal's balls---an old Muslim craft?-- they approached him and asked again, "Sir, can you tell us the time?" They watched closely as he again reached up and grabbed the camel's jewels, seemingly judging their weight, then pronounced, "It is half-past four."

The couple excitedly exchanged looks. The woman blurted, "Oh, sir! That is an amazing ability you have! Could you show us how you do it?!? "Surely," the herder responded tiredly, and motioned them to squat beside him. "Now, grasp his balls gently and lift them up to his belly.

" The woman did so while her companion watched. "What now?", she inquired.

"Now," said the old man, "look over there-can you now see the clock in the far tower? When the big hand is on the......."

Answer 2

not a joke but this is kinda funny:


Dear Abby letters best left unanswered...

I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know
he drank until one night he came home sober.

I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and
when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything
and said it would never happen again.

My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an
hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much I'm
not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.

I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been
on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I
think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't
know him well enough to discuss money with him.

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is
a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker
in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere
together and I've never seen a man go into their apartment
or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Answer 3

why don't you just run through the current crop at Jokes section - not to be unhumble, you may check my latest questions