My ex ended our relationship 6 wks ago. We didn't speak for 3 weeks & she contacted me. I decided I should try and get her back but not push too much and see what happens naturally.
We met for a drink, everything seemed good and the spark was still there. The next time we spoke she wasn't so warm.
We will meet up again in a week or so. I am just going to see how things are.
If over a few weeks it seems we should be together then I will come out and say it to her. I know if I do that too soon she will get scared and that will probably be it.
Trouble is, it is her birthday in 10 days. I would like to buy her something, not the level of presents I would have bought her if we were together but something to show I still care whether or not we are together.
I am worried that if I buy her something she may think I am being pushy but also know she may be upset if I don't, although she would never say it.
Any suggestions?
2007-03-15 05:23:10 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No present, but send her a card to let her know that you remembered the day, and were wishing her well.
2007-03-15 05:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by Surfer Dad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really difficult dilemma to be in.
I guess from what your saying SHE ended the relationship with you & you want her back.
Providing you buy her a gift with no strings attached I think that should be fine. Try something that may come in useful for her AVOID anything personal, i.e. underwear, perfume, flowers, music etc. These type of gifts may be construed to hold a deeper meaning than is intended.
A nice idea would be a voucher to a health spar, that way she can pamper herself and have some time out. If someone bought this gift for me, it would tell me that they are considering my well being.
Be VERY VERY VERY careful with the card you choose for her, and write a very short message, no I LOVE YOU still etc, this would definitely be pushing her.
Keep it simple say something like,
Dear ?
Hope you have a lovely Birthday,
Love from [insert your name] XX [no more than 2 kisses]
I hope you patch things up, but in the long run if you can only be friends thats worth having too isn't it!
GOOD LUCK
2007-03-15 05:38:36 · answer #2 · answered by Lizzo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you and your ex are maintaining a friendship. Friends buy friends gifts to celebrate their birthdays all the time. I would buy her something that you would buy any other close female friend for her birthday. When she receives it, if she acts funny or put off by it, then simply explain to her that you bought it as a friend nothing more. Not only will it prevent her from being angry about the gift or no gift situation, it will also tell you if she wants to get back with you or not based on her reaction. Good Luck!
2007-03-15 05:31:30 · answer #3 · answered by tryin4freedom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems as though she is stringing you along. Keeping your hopes up is a way for her to exhibit control over you without having to contribute anything to the relationship. The relationship is over, I wouldn't buy her a gift... I hate to say it, but it will make you seem as though you are falling all over yourself trying to get her to notice you and your feelings.
Back off and move on... she will NEVER know what she is missing out on if you don't give her a chance to miss it... however I wouldn't wait around for that realization to occur... You are wasting precious time in your life on someone who isn't interested and there are so many others who would love to meet someone such as you!
Good luck !: )
2007-03-15 05:31:41 · answer #4 · answered by ivy9toes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buying her a small gift is not a bad idea. Make sure it's not mushy or jewelry. Being a girl we like to feel remembered and as long as it doesn't say anything about wanting to get together or a commitement... she'll appreciate the thought.
2007-03-15 05:46:31 · answer #5 · answered by enhanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should buy her present. You already thought about your plans with her.Regardless whether you want to be back with her or not you should buy a present for her as a friend or someone who cares. Just becareful in picking a present. A present which any friend would buy for her. Good luck!!
2007-03-15 05:29:52 · answer #6 · answered by lemonade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see the harm in buying her something small but if you are really worried explain that you bought it before you split up but thought we may as well have it anyway
gud luck
xxx
2007-03-15 05:29:58 · answer #7 · answered by smudge 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my ex and I split I still got him something small and a card that told him I still cared no matter what happens....I say go for it, but just something small and thoughtful. That's not pushy...it's nice.
2007-03-15 05:27:56 · answer #8 · answered by NikkiWy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't want to push her away, but if you think she'd be upset if you didn't get anything then maybe you should try and start with just a simple birthday card. its not as forth coming as a gift, but still simply says that you still care.
2007-03-15 05:28:54 · answer #9 · answered by Shellbeth1986 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, buy her a card and a smal present - but not loads of stuff as it will freak her out!! But you should definitely let her know that you are still friends and that you care for her!
2007-03-15 05:32:26 · answer #10 · answered by ladyjojo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋