On our first date he kissed me and I didnt stop him which led to us making out, no groping. Second date we made out and he tried to take off my shirt, but I stopped him. I'm sorry I dont want to look easy and I want something more than just a physical relationship. I feel like our next date he is going to try to push sex. We are both 20 and I am very attracted to him but I am a virgin and want to make sure he doesnt want just sex. I dont want to hear 20 is late to have not had sex.
2007-03-15 05:20:32 · 25 answers · asked by mike 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am not 12, I am 20
2007-03-15 05:24:17 · update #1
NEVER FEEL PRESSURED. Good for you. Your best bet is to tell him straight up how you feel. If he doesnt comply he really isnt worth your effort. I bet you he will comply and that will be that.
2007-03-15 05:25:10 · answer #1 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so you are 20 and not 12 like you said. True. But a guy that is 20 is always in it for the sex, that's the nature of the beast. The key is....be sure you are ready for "just sex". He is not your husband, he is somone you are dating. Be aware of both sides of the coin. He could take your virginity and leave you after he gets to "have a virgin." Or, you need to make a decision that you are ready for sex without love because a man of 20 something moves on lust, and that is also the nature of the beast. If you know you are the type that needs the love and the sex to go hand in hand, then maybe you should wait until the man comes along that wants to LOVE you. It's easy to find a man that wants to sex you.
2007-03-15 12:25:55 · answer #2 · answered by cami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like you don't communication open with him. That is what should be first before a physical relationship. With having a physical relationship there is going to be an attachment. It's biology. Ands it will fool you into believing there is "something there". So unless you can start again with a true friendship you need to cut it off. Take some time with yourself and think through how you would like a relationship to go. What would be fulfilling for you. Then you will be able to date without much drama. You know what you want and need. Don't accept less.
2007-03-15 12:31:43 · answer #3 · answered by Allison O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl please...HE JUST WANTS SEX. You've been out with him on a couple of dates. Now, unless you can turn water into wine, what have you done to or for him that is so great that this man would want you to be the one? At 20 years old, you're only going to be one of the 'ones' that he's nailing. Hold onto your virginity for as long as you can. There are a million men out there that would take it for a quarter and keep it moving. It's easy for chicks to get caught up cuz we're all emotional and **** but you have to recognize game when it's in your face. Think about this...if you don't screw him, @ 20 years old, chances are..he'll be doing it to the next chick as soon as he leaves your house. then like females do, we'll wonder...OMG why hasn't he called me? how come he doens't return my calls? how come he doesn't speak to me anymore? it's cuz you will have given up everything that he wanted already. Unless you have a great relationship and you know this man is gonna stick by your side, go for it. Or think about this...If you got pregnant...would he still be there taking you out? Another thing while I'm at it...Do you know his last name? Have you met his parents? Does he know your middle name? or favorite color? Favorite movie? How much do you know about him? and last...Do you really really really need to sleep with him??? All that physical crap feels hella good and all but for a second, think past it. Seems like you've been doing good for the past 20 years. Don't waste it on some cat who's seeing how far he can go with you. Trust me babe!
2007-03-15 12:30:02 · answer #4 · answered by cyn d 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's trying to take your clothes off on the 2nd date, that sounds either a little shady or a little too horny. If he really likes you he shouldn't be trying to get into your pants on the 2nd or 3rd date, because he should want YOU to know that he isn't just after sex. Does he know you're a virgin? If so, that's even worse. In that case he shouldn't expect any clothes to come off for a good month or so. If he doesn't know you're a virgin I'm afraid you need to tell him, even if it's uncomfortable for you. Then explain to him that you want to get to know him better before you get to that point. If he gets angry that you're not ready to sleep with him after two dates, he's not worth dating anyway.
2007-03-15 12:26:12 · answer #5 · answered by IQ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth what you really want in a relationship. Sex and love is different kinda things. People easily having sex without love, tell him you not one of them. Its your right to have sex or not, its not wrong for being virgin at 20. I think what you did is the right thing. We can have a very pleasant sex that come with lots of love and tenderness.
2007-03-15 12:31:24 · answer #6 · answered by ironlady42 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you're coming from! I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18 and I'm turning 19 in two days! I suggest talking to him about the situation so that he is aware! You need to let him know that don't want just a physical relationship and if he can't understand that then u need to get out of that situation!
2007-03-15 12:27:20 · answer #7 · answered by shaboozie32 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing wrong with still being a virgin. so you flat out tell him. you like him you like to kiss him etc.. but you don't want it to be just about sex. you are not looking for that type of relationship, you dont need to tell him you are a virgin. leave it at that see what he says. if he says that fine with him he'll take it slow then good. if you never hear from him again then know lose on your end right? if he continues to pressure you into situations where your uncomfortable you need to quit seeing him he is after one thing sex. it's only for his pleasure not yours. hope it helps good luck
2007-03-15 12:30:51 · answer #8 · answered by sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are edoing the right thing. Tell him that you dont want to do this now. If he listens to you and respects that, give him a chance. If he doesnt, dump him and never look back. Make sure on this date, that he does not take you anywere alone. Make sure you have your cell on you at all times. By the way this guy sound though, I would dump him A.S.A.P. Sry, but I dont want to see you get hurt or become pregent
2007-03-15 12:25:24 · answer #9 · answered by Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's already trying to get your shirt off, then he is only looking for one thing. His actions answer your question. Tell him to respect your wishes by backing off. If he doesn't then he has to go.
Have you told him how you feel? Frankly, you're giving off a bit of a mixed signal if you haven't told him. You're making out on the first date. You're making out on the second date. What's he supposed to think unless you verbalize the boundaries and then stick to them.
2007-03-15 12:35:45 · answer #10 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If just sex is all he is interested in you don't need him. If it were me with you I would take my time and actually establish more than a physical relationship. You need to find some one that is serious about how you feel not just how big your but and boobs are.
2007-03-15 12:27:48 · answer #11 · answered by Desert Punk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋