at what age should you tell a child he or she is adopted?

Answer 1

An adoptive family that I knew told their son from the time that he came into their home - about 18 months. They then talked about it routinely as he grew up. Even before he really even knew what it meant, he would walk up to people and tell them "I am special. I'm adopted."

As he got older and understood, it wasn't a big deal at all because his parents had been telling him for years that he was loved, special and adopted.

Answer 2

At 12

Answer 3

That all depends on the kid, your best bet would be to ask someone who is an adoptive parent and get their point of view, sometimes given certain circumstances never telling the child, but sometimes the child finding out later in life can be devastating, I honestly don't know what to tell you, because no matter when you tell them they are going to be devastated.sorry about being so dramatic but if you do it now at a young age they are gonna need counseling and if you do it when they are adults then they are going to feel as if their whole life has been a lie, I suggest you talk;k to a specialist in this matter to help you know when the time is right Good luck I know this can't be an easy decision for you.

Answer 4

I say start telling the child when they're young, especially if they're from a different culture. Then you can also show the child their culture of origin, they don't feel like they're missing it.

However do not act like the child is unwanted or not part of the family, you have to have some tact and tell him/her that you brought them into your family, and that he/she is as much a part of your family as any other kids, or anyone of blood relation.

Also don't give the child special treatment because they're adopted, treat him/her normally. If you give them special treatment they may feel like an outsider looking in. The only exception is to introduce their other culture if applicable, because you want them to know some of their roots.

The longer you wait, the harder it is to have the talk, it's like talking to your children about sex, the longer you wait the more awkward it gets. So start early, and encourage questions as well, and answer them as best you can but in ways that the child will understand for their age level. Don't make the topic taboo.

But in the end, they're your child through and through, no matter how they were conceived, so do what you as a parent feel is best.

Answer 5

I think you let them know from the moment they could speak, however I wouldn't make it sound like they are differant then any other boy or girl. I would bring it up once an that is it, I wouldn't remind them that they are adopted it will make them feel if something is wrong with them being adopted. If they ask questions, by all means tell them, but dont' drag out the issue. They will talk about it when they are ready. Always let them know that they are loved unconditionally and that is what is most important.

Answer 6

When they ask the question "where did I come from?" or anything similar, answer them honestly.
One of my younger (adopted) sisters saw a pregnant woman and asked my mom "did I live in your belly?". My mom told her then that she got to us a different (but still special) way. (She was three) The older she got, the more questions she had. With honest answers she filled herself in on the details as she got older.
If they're old enough to ask, they're old enough to know. DON'T EVER LIE TO THEM!
If the topic doesn't come up before age 6 (but it probably will) then set aside a time to have a conversation about it.
Just fill them in on the basics so it doesn't surprise them down the road, and from there let them ask the questions. Always clarify though, that being adopted doesn't make them any less a 'real' son or daughter--They just took a different route to you then what's typical.

Answer 7

if i was adopted i would want my parents or parent to take me out and talk to me about the relationship we have as parent and child the n explain to me that i am adopted. So i would probably say around 9 yrs old. thats a resonable age because its were most children learn to physically and mentally think.

Answer 8

Your child should know since birth. It is important to tell your child so that they can build trust with you. If you tell them when they are older, it will most likely cause strain in your relationship. Just be open, and your child will benefit.

I have four adopted children. They all know that they are adopted, and they are OK with it, because they know that I am still their mom. They are all proud of the fact that they are sooo special, they have TWO moms!

Answer 9

when they are mature enough to understand the reasons why or for what they were adopted like the estimate age of 13 or 14 or 15.

Answer 10

As early as you can once they are old enough to understand conception. I was told I was special and loved.

I was 4 or 5 when my mom and dad told me and that was I adopted - after we read a book called -Where did I come From which is a very good book you should look for it!