My boyfriend of 4 months is a keeper. He is very serious about me and I am slowly falling in love with him. He has been sleeping over at my house a couple of times a week and leaving in the wee hours of the morning before my sons, ages 10 and 14 get up. When, I wonder, is it OK to let them know he and I are "together". When can he stay the entire night?
2007-03-15 04:51:15 · 10 answers · asked by prettyfeistylady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
definitley tell your 14 year old.... You would want him to tell you if he was in sucha serious relationhsip with a girl... I understand you wanting to protect your kids.. but 4 months.. you are in no danger of of breaking up any time soon... It is bette to tell your sons then to have a fluke and htem find out when he accidentlaly slesp through the alarm and tehy find him in the morning
just tell your younger son. YOu know this is someone that makes me happy .. he isnt' replacing your dad but he is someone I care about ... maybe have them spend time together like have them go to a ball game so that he is more comfortable with your guy around the house.. .As long as you are quiet and respectful of your sons he can stay the night now !
2007-03-15 04:53:38 · answer #1 · answered by hanntastic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do your sons know he spends the night at all? And how is your bf around your sons? are your sons ok with the fact that you have a new bf? Those are some questions you might want to ask yourself...if they are positive answers then I would say you can have just a mini talk with your sons saying "Oh (your boyfriend) is coming for dinner..." maybe you can make a nice dinner and play some games that involve your sons and your boyfriend...that way you can make a transition to allow your sons to be comfortable with your boyfriend being in the house. After a few times like that then you can see if you can ease the idea of him spending the night. I don't think I would recommend doing having him stay over right away.....the kids might get jealous. Goodluck!
2007-03-15 11:57:04 · answer #2 · answered by M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before I would get too determined about this (4 months really isn't long enough to know that he's a keeper), I would make sure that you're doing the right thing.
Occasionally people know within that long that a person is right, but it's VERY rare, and it often seems to be the case but it later turns out that it isn't. What makes you so sure that this man is the one for you? Are you sure he'd be a good father for your kids? Because if you aren't thinking of making him a father for them, you shouldn't be dating him. That's what dating amounts to when you have kids already. Basically, you need to have some long, in depth conversations with this man to try to verify that he's the right one (talk about marriage, children, finances, religion, politics, all those issues that could develop into major fights later on if there is a disagreement). If you're still sure he's the right one, tell your kids so whenever you feel it's right, but I would still recommend waiting a while. No matter how much you talk with a person and get to know them, there's only so much you can learn about a person within 4 months. Time reveals things that nothing else can reveal.
2007-03-15 11:59:30 · answer #3 · answered by IQ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would have him spend some time with the kids for a while at first. You know do some family outings and all. Then, plan like a late night movie at the house with the family or something of that nature and tell your kids something like....he is going to stay the night since it is so late. With your sons so old you can't just spring something like that on them. Boys are really protective of their mothers.
2007-03-15 11:56:32 · answer #4 · answered by Just Tryin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your relationship with your sons and their level of maturity. Remember if it doesn't work they will always remember him. Maybe all of you should start hanging out, if your sons like him they will be inviting him to stay. Which would be easier, but honestly its never a good idea to show kids your lovers in your bed unless you have plans to get married or plan on living as a couple for a very long time. Even then you can break up, or he turns out to be a pervert. Then what, talk to them see if they are ready for that, if not slowly get them to warm up to the idea.
2007-03-15 12:04:15 · answer #5 · answered by Elle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does it make a difference? You think they don't know?. They know. But are you doing the right thing? What happens in 5 years time, your son brings a girl home and want to spend the night with her? What would be your reaction?
You have no right to bring the man to your house when you have kids living with you. If you both are horny, get into a motel
2007-03-15 11:55:51 · answer #6 · answered by AdultMale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is completely up to you. Has your boyfriend spent any time with the kids? If not you might want to include the kids in some activities, because I know I would have been weirded out when my mom was dating had I sat down at the breakfast table with a stranger.
2007-03-15 11:55:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them get to know him away from your house. Like at the movies or skating rink. After they are used to seeing him around with you then he can stay all night.
2007-03-15 11:55:39 · answer #8 · answered by Desert Punk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They probably already know. But sit down with them as soon as possible and explain that you are in love and want to spend more time with Jimi.
2007-03-15 11:54:21 · answer #9 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to them -- let them know you care for each other --- they are old enough to understand and i would not be surprised if they already know
2007-03-15 11:54:47 · answer #10 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋