Jealousy and how to deal with it?

Question

Jealousy can ruin any relationship and occurs usually when one person is flirting with another...

How have you dealt with jealousy in your more... past relationships.

Answer 1

every time I get jealous I remind myself that I have 110% faith in boyfriend and tell myself I should be flattered that other people are appreciating what i get to go home with

Answer 2

lol! oh boy, when I saw this question I laughed and cringed at the same time!

In the past, I acted like an idiot. Made a scene, assumed things, let accusations fly, etc. Insecurity seems to be the reason most people feel jealousy. At least from my point of view.

For me, the older I get the more sure of myself I am. The more confident, self assured, and self sufficient Ive become. Tools that help boost our own self esteem.

Everyone has a flirty nature. Everyone's has their own version of what flirting means. If your in a serious relationship and you KNOW that your flirting with others is hurting the person your with I think that the person flirting has some growing up to do. Its one thing to be silly/flirty, its another when your flirting gives someone the impression you're interested when you're already taken.

Just my opinion and experiences. Im curious to see what others say to this question.

Answer 3

I have never understood people who display jealousy (nor sorry to say) had much respect for them. I find it hard to try to force some one to Love you and continually watch to see where your eyes or attention is focused. They expect you to lie to them if asked if someone else is attractive or if you have something nice to say about another male/female. After all, your attention should be completely on them and no one else. I would rather not be in a relationship in which I had to watch every word or action for fear of a "Jealous rage". You just can't force some-one to LOVE you. When I first got married and had to make a late night patient office visit. My wife was quite un-easy. I told her right then and there get up and get dressed you can sit in the waiting room untill I am done and when we have kids you will bring them along also. That was the last time I seen that little tinge of "Jealousy".

Answer 4

jealousy is over rated. As long as they aren't getting too frisky, and are just talking, (like friends would), and they still go home where they are supposed to go home, then I don't see a major problem. I have never been jealous nor have been jealous of, but my family, whoe! They always want to come to me for advice. As long as they are just talking, and aren't talking dirty, touching or feeling each other, then there shouldn't be a problem. If you are the jealous one, just try and have a talk with your partner in private, and explain what you are going through, and see if you and your partner can meet on neutral ground. My dad owns a bar and his girlfriend is jealous when he talks to other women that come in there, so I've been down this road a time or two.

Answer 5

What you are talking about is not 'jealousy' but 'envy' ... jealousy is an emotion that happens only in 'relationships' between people ... we become 'jealous' when someone else seems to be 'stealing what is ours.' Envy is very similar, but these people don't want to 'take what you have because it's yours' as much as they 'would like to have the same thing' ... and it IS a compliment when your friends say they're 'jealous' of your achievements. If you want to, you can tell them that what they are feeling is not 'jealousy,' but 'envy' ... and then, when possible, you can become their 'mentor' or can 'give them a hand up' to your level of accomplishment.

Answer 6

My husband is the jealousy type. It drives me crazy sometimes but he knows now that I am not going anyway. I have some guy friends from work and know I can talk to them at home when he is there and not drive me crazy about why and what we talked about. I think everyone has some jealousy in them but they know how to control it and get over it.

Happy now but took some time.

Answer 7

Jealousy is the worst thing that can happen in any relationship. That "green monster" comes from one person not having total trust of the other person. Everyone flirts to some degree every day, that doesn't mean they want to replace their partner - its human nature. Have trust in your partner and kill the two-headed green monster.

Answer 8

Jealousy only comes up when the parties of the relationship are not meant to be together. I have left the jealous types do to them cheating...what does that tell ya...If one is jealous it is because that one is afraid that you will do to them as they are doing to you. Find a lover that LOVES you, not owns you.

Answer 9

When it's happened to me in the past, I'm honest about my jealousy with myself first. I realize that it's my problem. Then, if it is with someone like my wife, I'll tell her how I feel in a non-threatening way. If I make it a fight, it might prompt more behavior I don't like. I find if we talk it over like rational adults, we can reach an agreement.

When someone is jealous of me, I consider their importance to me. If my wife approaches me with an issue, I explain why it came about and tell her that her feelings are important to me and if it bothers her I'll either stop or compromise in some way.

Answer 10

I dont find jealousy to ruin a relation ship when it comes to flirting... we can say possesiveness and suspicion is more dangerous than jealousy

Answer 11

well i used to be an *** hole about it and blame her but it is not the other persons fault they cant help some body looking or making a pass at them when you step away for a sec as long as your boyfriend / girlfriend let that person know they are taken it should not be a problem cause it does ruin relationships