WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! this can't be more wrong for you then a bullet in your head. Really.
You need to let this one go and let him find some one who can tolerate three kids, an abusive ex and a man who seems to be controlling and maybe that is why he has an ex in the first place.
Think about it. He is very defensive. He is not looking for a soulmate, he is looking for a maid, cook, mommy, sex slave, whatever. So, unless you like being these, you are 25. No kids. why even begin to look for trouble? You'll get it if you try to stay with this "winner".
2007-03-15 04:38:03
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answer #1
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answered by uchaboo 6
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Sounds like he has a lot of anger, pain, and frustration from the last relationship which is what we call BAGGAGE. You are not wrong for asking questions because one of the most important aspects of a relationship is communication. He needs to realize that YOU were not the one who hurt him. YOU should not have to all of that old baggage from his past relationship dumped on you. Time does heal wounds but how long is it going to take him to get over his ex? The ball is in your court and you really need to be careful with this relationship because you will look up one day and it will be 10 years later and he will be saying the same thing. You don't want to be used as his rebound. He needs to realize that he has been hurt, deal with his anger, pain, frustration, but he needs to move on with his life. He needs to realize that he will never be able move ahead in life if he is always looking backwards. It's just like driving a car. It's alright to glance in the rear view mirror at what's behind you, but we all need to keep the gear in drive and continue to move ahead to bigger and better destinations. The choice is all yours. Good Luck.
2007-03-15 12:50:33
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answer #2
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answered by 1DivineSistuh 2
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If your asking the question of how he feels and you don't already "know" then there is a problem. I would suggest reading a book called "The Five Languages of Love", he may show his love differently than you receive it. You may need words of affirmation, and he may like acts of service. Here is an example from the author: Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express love in ÃEnglishÃ, if your spouse understands only ÃChineseÃ, you will never understand how to love each other.
I hope that helps, and good luck!!! Love is always complicated.
2007-03-15 11:39:14
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answer #3
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answered by Kay Ray 2
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it isn't wrong for you to want some confirmation of his feelings, and at least he's being honest about being hurt before. I think the best thing you can do is to say "listen, I know she hurt you. I respect the fact that you need time to heal, and I'm willing to give you that. What I need is something, anything, from you to let me know that you feel the same, and that there is some future for us when you move past this."
Something to that effect. Give him the time he needs, but if he isn't making an effort after a reasonable amount of time, then you should probably move on without him.
Good luck.
2007-03-15 11:37:27
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answer #4
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answered by ski4ever1977 5
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He's stringing you along. If you can deal with the way it is now, then keep it up and shut up, cause it ain't changing unless you push it. And when you do, he'll dump you. Because he does not want that commitment right now and he's overwhelmed with child support so he doesn't need your naggin' So if the sex is good and you're having a good time, then just take it for what it is, a casual relationship
- Leviticus 3:13
2007-03-15 11:37:12
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answer #5
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answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5
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I would say time is pretty much on your side. It is good to keep in mind a relation-ship works both ways and there may be a side to him you have not seen yet. It would be too late if you should jump with out seeing where your going to land. It might be best first to be friends and let it naturally work into a relationship. If it so important to you to be in a permanent relationship quickly. Seems to me, your not on the money with this gentleman!
2007-03-15 11:42:54
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answer #6
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answered by BUD 1
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I can't give you a certain amount of time you should give him, but i would say that if you really like him then give him more time and try to make him feel happy by helping him forget his bad experience. but if he just continues to be defensive and you are getting tired of it, you don't have to put up with it and you can find someone new. Good luck and i hope it all works out.
2007-03-15 11:38:25
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answer #7
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answered by ILoveGreen ZipZapZop 4
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How long have you been dating him?
If he acts this way and hasn't told you how he feels about you after you have been dating for at least six months, I would move on.
He is not over his ex and needs more time to sort out his mind and heart. He may never get close to you nor tell you how he feels. You're better off finding someone who will.
2007-03-15 11:37:46
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answer #8
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answered by Nancy 6
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Sounds like he has baggage and you may need to help him sort it out before you move on.
It's a huge change to not be in a family unit anymore. Just be understanding and willing to listen to him.
He doesn't sound like a jerk, he has just been hurt, bad. He may appreciate your willingness to not expect a whole lot out of him and wanting to help him through his tough time.
It's a whole lot easier to leave a boyfriend then it is to leave a wife and 3 kids.
Take care!
2007-03-15 11:37:29
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answer #9
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answered by treasureyourself 4
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he should have taken his time before you got into a relationship with you, it would have only been fair.
so he was 23 when he and this other girl hooked up, and you are 25, do you think that maybe he is trying to like, replace her, with you......... (just something to think about)
i would say, tell him that you want to be with him, and not, with his tragedy. start to do things that take his mind off of the bad ex, and if that doesnt work, drop it.
2007-03-15 11:37:00
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answer #10
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answered by smcopeland16 3
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