..she is in no way shape or form ready for a baby. she is 23 and has been living with her boyfriend for 2 years. i know she's an adult but still. she even said she's not ready, she's not even sure if she wants to marry this guy.she's also having financial problems. they cant even support themselves properly on their own much less with a baby. she asked me what she should do but i really dont know im only a teen. she's very upset about the situation what should she do? any good advice? oh but her boyfriend is a nice and respectable man, but do you think he will feel obligated to marry her now.
2007-03-15 04:12:30 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi, we have a similar situation. I am 23, and I am pregnant and I found out I was with my boyfriend for just over 2 years. At first I cried, and I was secretly angry with my boyfriend for getting me pregnant. Even though I know it takes two to tango, he is 16yrs older than me and told me he knew when a woman's fertile times are etc etc.
Anyway my fears were that I was too young and that I wasnt ready and I felt I hadnt had enough alone-time and fun with my boyfriend yet. And I was terrified about what my family might say or think. My boyfriend was really supportive and said he wanted the baby but if I wasnt ready then maybe I should have an abortion. But then i thought, no, I've always wanted a family and even though it came too early for me, I knew I would always regret it if I had a family later. I would always think about the baby I aborted. Also, if I had an abortion, that would absolutely be the end of the relationship. You would have to be a really strong and spiritual couple (or just not give a ****) to get over an abortion.
If she isnt ready, maybe she should have an abortion, but she has to think really seriously about how much she may regret it, and think about how much all her fears and worries will disappear when a little hand closes around her finger for the first time. She doesnt have to marry the guy, in fact that would be the worst thing to do if she isnt in love with him. There are plently of single mums out there, and im sure this boyfriend would always be apart of the baby's life.
I suggest she see a counsellor before making a big decision like abortion.
2007-03-15 04:25:18 · answer #1 · answered by Ms_S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats something your sister and her bf need to discuss. If shes not ready I'm sure hes not ready either, and I don't think its healthy to marry someone just because you're having a child together. Now if they see eachother spending the rest of their lives together before the pregnancy then maybe they should just do it now.
She can keep the child, have an obortion, or give it up for adoption.
Adoption is a great route there are so many different companies and they allow you to look through pictures of families and see what they have to say and meet with them.
Good Luck
2007-03-15 04:17:51 · answer #2 · answered by colie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not good to engage in abortion and the only option left is to accept the pregnancy and build up the relevant capacities to deal with the situation. Scrape and save for the sake of the baby. It does not take the world bank to raise a baby.
A guy should not be tied down or forced into marriage bc of pregnancy or any other thing for that matter but if the man is responsible as you did say, that is then the right thing for him to do.
2007-03-15 04:23:43 · answer #3 · answered by comradechris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let's say I'm used to that situation, 3 of my sister's went to that scenario as well. Some of them got married but some did not. Of course both has pros and cons.
As for she got married, uhm... she thinks the guy is not worth it. He was nice at first, responsible, but as time pass by, everything turns different. My sister want someone else who's responsible enough to face his duty as husband and father to her daughter. but the fact that they are married, it's not right to have someone again.
As for the other one who did not get married, she's happy now with her boyfriend and her daughter, atleast no regrets, and yet she's still young, I guess I like it that way, coz you'll never know.
Financial stuff is really a big deal, but just put in mind that she could win this fight for as long as she's with her loved ones. She just have to be strong for the baby and for herself as well. Just always remind her how much she mean to you and you're always ready to help her in every way you could, with that I belive she would have the strength to go through this journey.
2007-03-15 04:23:31 · answer #4 · answered by mushy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 20 and i understand how and why she is not ready for a baby. I'd say go full term and give the up for adoption because there are women who ain't able to have children and she can't pick the family or not they have programs to help her tell her to go to the health department and they can help her with the adoption if thats what she wants to do
pink20
2007-03-15 04:27:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
good= by way of fact they are my siblings... undesirable= by way of fact they are living with me and my mom and father (i'm 15 years old) and because they are my siblings.. we are destined to have our siblings(sisters and brothers)... Allah had made us a useful treasure that we could look after even at times we disagree with one yet another.. Allah is All understanding and He is conscious what's maximum suitable for us... Having our families as our handbook.. Or having none (no brothers and sis).. He is conscious who's maximum suitable to have a brother... Or sister... would Allah bless us all with the holy month of Ramadan Al-Mubarak.. P.S. i'm a muslim like each and every of you and that i'm hoping to stay that way.... until the tip...
2016-12-14 19:48:16 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋