We have 3 children together as in they were planned together but were split up now and were doing our own things and have been since christmas of "06" Im not over her yet and neathier is she over me but we both know that we need to be for our and the kids sake the pyisical abuse between us has gotton way out of hand and someones gonna get hurt really bad. every one says to let her go and find a good man but I am not sexualy atracted to men and thats all they seem to want now days how can I look passed this sex thing and live by the book (Bible) the right way?
2007-03-15 04:03:20 · 12 answers · asked by kibee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think there are multiple issues to address in this question, so I will address one by one:
"Im not over her yet and neathier is she over me but we both know that we need to be for our and the kids sake"
-I am a little confused by the comment here, are you saying that you need to be over her for the sake of your kids, or you need to make it work for the sake of your kids? Either way, in my opinion, what is in the best interest for the kids is what will expose them to a happy consistent family life in a positive environment. If that is seperated from your partner, then that is what should be. Children, in any type of home, feed off of violence and fighting, which is not positive. You both need to be happy and stable, it is up to you to decide if that life can be with your partner or not.
"the pyisical abuse between us has gotton way out of hand and someones gonna get hurt really bad"
-This really could feed into part one of my answer. I'm not sure what state you are in, and for sure how the laws are written, but abuse is abuse. I am not sure who is getting hurt, you or her, but either way, you two need to be safe and out of harms way. If you are being abused, please seek professional assistance in the way of law enforcement. If nothing else, a phyiscally violent relationship is NOT healthy for you, or your children.
"every one says to let her go and find a good man but I am not sexualy atracted to men and thats all they seem to want now days how can I look passed this sex thing and live by the book (Bible) the right way?"
-This is a tough one to work through, but if you are homosexual, you are homosexual. I understand the stigma of traditional religion and how that can feed into confusion or guilt in your relationships. Although I am straight, and married, I live in a predominantly gay neighborhood and have several gay friends who have had to work through this same issue. Good people come in all types, gay, straight, thick, thin, black, white. It is going to do you absolutely no good to change who you are for religion, friends, family, etc. In my neighborhood, there are several churches who accept and invite homosexuality with welcome arms. What you are is not a disease, a choice, or anything to be guilty about.
Overall, I think you have some tough choices to make about your relationship, and your life in general. You deserve to be happy, healthy, and safe. You also deserve to be who you are without any persecution, or repercussions from your friends. If you friends don't understand this and can not accept this, maybe you should take stock of your friends and find those who can support you as a friend, not try to change your sexuality.
2007-03-15 04:23:15 · answer #1 · answered by Gabriel N 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to find a good woman to get over the ex. The bible is a nice book of stories, but meaningless. Life is short. Don't live it according to other people's rules. The sooner you realize that there is no god and that people have no business running your life, then you will be free to pursue your own happiness. Stop dealing with people who are abusive or tell you what to do. Have good sex and a good life! Because when you die, it's all over.
2007-03-15 04:08:50 · answer #2 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your main priority is for the kids and that kind of relationship is not healthy for your kids (abuse, or same sex marriage) they need to be in a stable supportive relationship with a parent, two mom's will be very confusing and should be banned, don't be selfish you know what that will do to child's esteem telling friends " O I have two mom's " the kid will be in a shrinks office at about age five - early twenty's. To dumb this down ya you brought up the bible find religion because it is shunned upon in religions, so heal yourself slowly. I would say that you just live single and never bring that evil home, do it somewhere else. People are wrong ya it is 2007 but people will never accept that, and that's my final answer.
Your friend in crisis
2007-03-15 04:21:18 · answer #3 · answered by ANDREW B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Human have a tendency to always get themselves into situations that are very hard to get out of. If you truly want to live the right way, then first you must begin to ask God for his forgiveness. Then you have to continue to ask God to deviver you from the spirit that has you bound. This will include much effort on your part, because the unclean spirit will not want to set you free. But you will eventually gain strength if you continue in prayer. This is called repenting. Once you have gained enough strength to fight, and stay away from these things, once you begin to see your thought pattern changing, then, and only then is it time to have your sins washed away by baptism in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins. ACTS 2:38. Once you receive this baptism, every filthy thing that you have ever done has been washed away, and your conscience is now clear to be able to serve God the right way. Now you are a true canidate for the real holy ghost, the spirit of God, that will keep you the rest of the way...if you believe.
2007-03-15 04:17:14 · answer #4 · answered by sekn4nsers 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hard one - you WANT to try to be with a man?
Well the bible didn't say anything about two females not being able to get it on lol
but seriously, you'll never going to be happy trying to be STRAIGHT cuz thas what EVERYONE ELSE WANTS not what YOU want. Get it?
You can try your hardest being with a man but its just gonna be a empty life but hey, at least you are playing it safe, right? Sounds boring to me but whatever floats your boat.
My advice - accept yourself as a happy homo loving gal and either try to work it out with your love or move on. Go out to pride... I meet great people there all the time... go to gay bars/clubs.... Get on gay web social sites. There is pendtly ways to get back into the scene.
Do you watch the L word??? You should. There this older lady who has been married for years and have older children with a man and she finally realized shes not straight and now shes having the time of her life........
Think about what YOU WANT. Not what those bible-pushers are saying.
2007-03-15 04:14:10 · answer #5 · answered by RainboW 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope your not basing 1 bad experience with a man, and then saying all men are bad because were not, If your not comfortable being with a man, you can always abstain, unless you truely want to be with a guy.
2007-03-15 04:09:28 · answer #6 · answered by terryodell42 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thank God that you have decided to forgoe your past ways and go straight. However, if you must have a man, then you cannot avoid sex with him unless you want to be with the type that is impotent. Is that what you want?
2007-03-15 04:11:38 · answer #7 · answered by comradechris 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Let her go and find a good woman.
2007-03-15 04:09:34 · answer #8 · answered by John's Secret Identity™ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just do whatever makes you happy and feel right without hurting anyone
2007-03-15 04:07:07 · answer #9 · answered by vincent m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you like who you like dont try and fight it. It doesnt matter where your sexual preferences lie go with it and be happy and dont be something your not. good luck
2007-03-15 04:14:50 · answer #10 · answered by bobbi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋