I have been with my boyfriend over 2 years. The past couple months we had been planning a trip to Vegas just the two of us since we havent had the chance to go alone. I started planning it but it seemed he had no interest whatsoever to come up with a date to go. I keapt asking him for weeks but he couldnt give me a definit answer. Finally, i decided we werent going cuz it didnt seem like he was interested. Then about 2 weeks later he says his friends invited him to go to vegas as a guy thing and i got really upset because he didnt even bother with ours and it turns out that it'll be the weekend we were suppose to go. I like his friends but dont trust them. Some are married and still fool around. He says its obsurd sor me to be upset but what should i do? His friends dont want us together and im in a way kind of scared that they will push for him to be unfaithful. He says the only reason he wants to go with them and not with me is because with them, it's a diff kind of trip. am i wrong?
2007-03-15 03:57:38 · 24 answers · asked by Yankees Fan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
weird, i would love to go with you but you will have to ask him why he doesnt want to holiday with you, dont let him go, say he goes with you or doesnt go !!!
2007-03-15 04:01:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you love him more than he loves you. It is a dynamic in most relationships. If his answer was that you are being absurd, your relationship is over. The reason I say that is because the only one that is going to be fighting to keep it together is you, he is already drifting and your efforts to salvage will only be seen as nagging, control and bitchiness. If he loved you and was commited he would have scooped you up in his arms and said I love you and would have showed you that he did.
The good news here is that you can follow your gut, a womans intuition is dead on. I have relied on it myself all through my last relationship. Despite our differences I always trusted and followed my then Fiance's intuition. Do the same and save your self the pain and messiness of a long deterioration of a good thing. Besides, you will have the upper hand when he comes back after having gone to a couple strip clubs with his buddies. He will know again how hollow the world is without someone who loves you and someone to love. None of that Vegas BS is worth one night in the bed next to the woman you love.
Good luck. Follow your gut.
2007-03-15 11:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him this is bs. ur a couple, and this sounds like a big thing. sounds like hes only interested in the boys. dont give an ultimatum, but let him know, again and again, how screwed up this is. I couldnt ever conceive doing this to my wife, and then trying to sleep next to her. Lorena Bobbit. eeeeeeeeekkkkkkkk!!!!! Sorry for the humor, I know youre hurt by this. 2 years is a bit of time. Some things that happen are a blessing in disguise, although they never appear to be at first. Maybe he needs to lose ya. Harsh as that sounds, if he does it now, whats to say it wont happen on another big vaca. Good luck.
2007-03-15 11:05:13 · answer #3 · answered by kevinc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say that there is a 99.9% chance that he will find a hooker while he is there. His friends will probably pay for her for him. He probably did not want to go with you because he knows that Vegas is not a "couple" destination. Remember the city's motto, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas:. The temptation of the city will be too great, just check out the ads on craiglist.
2007-03-15 11:09:59 · answer #4 · answered by j_c_golden81 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't help but wonder how you two have lasted for 2 years! I don't want to be cruel, but from what you said it sounds like the first trip was 98% your plans and he wasn't interested in it at all.
But for him to turn you down and go with a bunch of friends. It sounds to me like his friends have already drove the stake into your relationship. If they wanted to break you up this will probably do it. If the shoe was on the other foot and it was my girlfriend going to "Sin City" with her buddies... I would show up at 3 AM to check on the sleeping arrangements!
2007-03-15 11:21:14 · answer #5 · answered by sniffels323 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know, when it is men all the way, their behavior changes into that of take-life-as-it-comes. when a woman is around, she expects a definite time table from start to arrival back at your pad which is not the idea of an ideal vacation. when you are happy-go-lucky, you crack man-thing jokes, kid each other no end, there is no limit to doing anything, in short, it's a wild roller-coaster ride which a woman (or an all-women group) cannot stomach. your friend is wise and is saving you and hisself from later embarassment or breakup. as for unfaithful behavior, believe me, even one evening or your own city is enough annonymous to indulge in. why should he go all the way to Las Vegas? Give him his space, go elsewhere less tumultous and cozy place later on, honey. Las Vegas? and that too with your girl? forget it.
2007-03-15 11:12:37 · answer #6 · answered by krishna i 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok i'm a girl, but i have only male friends and i know these things...sometimes, a guy just wants to hang with his buddies, but sounds to me like your guy's a bit too defensive when the cheating topic was brought up. Maybe his buddies told him about the trip long before he told u, but wanted YOU to be the one to cancel and not have him break the news that he doesn't want to go with you (even tho' actions speak louder than words). If you think your guy's good enough to hang out with cheaters and not cheat, then ok, but they say show me your friends and i'll tell you who u are, u decide, honey! And what's gonna make that trip soooo god d**m different? U need to get on his case, u have every right to be concerned
2007-03-15 11:06:30 · answer #7 · answered by h8rz_luv_mizz_t2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohhh no he did not!! Gurl you have every right to think what you are thinking. I understand he needs to be with his friends sometimes but passing over a trip to go with you is just wrong. Usually your gut instinct is right...So I wouldn't trust this situation at all. I would try to get ur girls together and go somewhere fun. So that way you are not home worrying about him.
2007-03-15 11:04:23 · answer #8 · answered by The girl next door 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get a males opinion on this! They do anything to support the brotherhood. DUMP this guy! He's obviously up to no good and it sure does seem (given the circumstances) that he is more loyal to his buddies than you. I suggest that you and the girls take your own trip over the same dates to Hawaii or Mexico or wherever you can go to do little "scouting" for your future ex-boyfriend.
2007-03-15 11:07:47 · answer #9 · answered by Lilith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you're not wrong.
your bf is an inconsiderate oaf.
he wants everything his own way, and has shown no consideration for your feelings.
i'm sorry to say but, typically, when a guy is non-committal about spending time with his gf, and chooses/prefers to spend time with his friends then it means he's not fully committed to the relationship ... he sees you as a convenience when it suits, him and a nuisance when it doesn't.
you can probably do better, have the last laugh and finish with him. then go to vegas with a new hot guy and make sure he finds out about it.
2007-03-15 11:03:04 · answer #10 · answered by brightspark 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, a guy who turns you down for the exact same trip he takes with his guy friends obviously cares more about fooling around with strippers than a commited relationship. You really should dump him over this, he doesn't respect you at all.
2007-03-15 11:01:57 · answer #11 · answered by DarkLord_Bob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋