I've got college work mounting up, all three of my children are off school with chicken pox. Now my husband's work have scheduled a long training day over our anniversary. I could do with a good giggle please folks.
P.S I'm not a prood but nothing too crude, thanks.
2007-03-15 03:36:08 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
An old one, but still makes me smile:
A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean and serve the venison for supper.
He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is - so he does not tell them.
His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner?".
"You'll see", says his dad. They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking what they're eating.
"Ok," says her dad, "here's a hint: It's what your mother sometimes calls me."
The girl suddenly screams at her little brother, "Spit it out! It's asshole!"
2007-03-15 03:56:19 · answer #1 · answered by Kil B 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
There were two chickens standing at the side of the road.
What did one say to the other?
I think we had better not cross this road, or people will never stop talking about it.
UK verbal joke: How do you get an elephant to speak?
Don't know.
Along the East Lancs Road.
Pardon?
(The question was really 'How do you get an elephant to Speke?')
Along similar lines:
There are two twins who were twins to each other - not twins from separate pairs.
One is 20 and the other is 22.
They were born in March, but their birthday is in September.
They married each other.
How is this possible?
(One is twenty and the other twenty too; March is a town; they are vicars.)
2007-03-15 04:31:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
a million how do you place an elephant in the refrigerator? -open the door, placed the elephant in #2 how do you place a giraffe in the refrigerator? -open the door, do away with the elephant, placed the giraffe in #3 all the animals are at a brilliant animal assembly. What 2 are lacking? -the giraffe and the elephant #4 there's a river which no you will bypass. there is not any bridge and you could't wade in view that's crammed with crocodiles. How do you bypass? -wade in the time of, the crocodiles are on the assembly.
2016-12-14 19:46:53 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is the smarter sex?
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad
one.
Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly
neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars,
the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a
woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but
fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that
we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for
the rest of our days."
The man replied, "I agree with you completely."
"This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And
look at this, here's another miracle. My car is
completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good
fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head
in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle
and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the
bottle, immediately puts the cork back
in and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."
2007-03-15 03:43:40 · answer #4 · answered by awana 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
There once was a young girl & a young boy. They were close friends. One day the young boy told the young girl "I love you, your something special" The young girl smiled then said "Dude, you suck the only reason I even hang out with you is because I have nothing better to do with my life...You loser" The young boy then slapped the young girl then said "well then F*ck you hoe! I didn't like you anyways, I just wanted to get in your pants! shiit".................The end....
Here's another one
What's long, brown & sticky?!?!
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.A STICK!
Aahahahahhaha....Yeah...I'm having one hell of a bad day also....Iii...
Well things always turn out fine :)
2007-03-15 04:53:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ther was a crippled man that walked in a cathlic church. He walked in slowly with his crutches and stood in front of the holywater to pray.when he was done he splashed holywater on his leggs and threw the crutches. the priest that was ther ran to the other priest to tell him what had happened."this cripled man he walked in and splashed holywater on his leggs and don't you know he threw them crutches." then the other priest said "its a miracle wher is this man." and the 1st priest said "over ther on the floor.
2007-03-15 03:54:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Why didnt the chicken cross the road? To not get on the other side.
2007-03-15 03:39:19 · answer #7 · answered by Phlow 7 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Here you go. A three men walk into a bar, You think one would have seen it.
2007-03-15 04:01:27 · answer #8 · answered by Love, Joy, peace.. 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
What do broccoli and a chicken have in common?
They're both green except for the Chicken
2007-03-15 03:39:55 · answer #9 · answered by sweetea85 2 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Why did the porcupine cross the road? because he was stuck to the chicken
2007-03-15 03:41:14 · answer #10 · answered by MC2Wite 1 · 2⤊ 3⤋