why dont i give no one a chance?

Question

ive been in messed up relationships in the past which i guess have left me vunerable and withdrawn.now i am single and quite happy,i do meet guys but try not to get too involved as i dont want to be hurt again,however im coming to the point where im feeling im missing out but i dont really care,i just find myself getting sucked in quite deeply where i feel this this is the one but then i get frustrated and tell myself im being silly and not to trust anyone,im constantly battling with myself,i feel like im not giving these guys a chance and im wasting my time,how can i drop my guard wihtout getting hurt and paranoid..help

Answer 1

The thing about love is you have to be vulnerable and willing to take the chance even if you've been hurt in the past because if stay withdrawn you miss out on a potentially amazing relationship...It's like anything if you fail you do it again until you get right

Answer 2

The short answer to this is you cant avoid the risk of getting hurt! However when entering in to a new relationship you have to remember that your new partner is not your ex partner, and that they are not reposnible for the hurt your EX has caused you or there mistakes. New partners are bound to make mistakes and upset you from time to time as they get to know you. The best advice I can give you is to be open and honest with new potential partners and ask them to do the same, explain the hurt in the past and tell them you find it hard to trust, set yourself good solid foundations. If your new partner really likes and respects you then they will listen to you, and reassure you, they will also alow you to find your own feet, and before you know it you will wonder what all the fuss was about. If they cant do this then they are not right for you, so get out and avoid the hurt. Relationships built on solid foundations in the early days, of trust respect open and honest communication last so much longer than those built upon foundations made of sand, dishonesty and no communication.
Good luck and remember everynbodys different just because one person hurt you in the past doesnt mean everyone will, there are still some of us decent guys out there, that will treat you with the respect that you deserve, you just have to give them a chance and be honest about how you feel.

Answer 3

if you're happy then stay that way,but to me if you was so happy why are you asking this question ?I understand where you're coming from, I was like that when things got frustrated I would run for cover,and I ran,and ran and I did miss out on love and life.I'm in love now I can trust my love for him ,but I have to guess about everything when it come to him and that's know way to live when it comes to real love,I never new you could love someone so deeply.Yes I feel like a fool many days and I have done and said silly thing,I KNOW HE IS THE ONE FOR ME bc I can feel him in my soul but what I don't understand is the pain and the pain and hurt is there bc he can't trust me and the love he hold in side himself I'm dating now not bc I don't love him bc I do,deeply .Life is out there and I need to be a part of it, everyone say that love is pain I don't think it have to be like that at all.When you say give them a chance ,you're talking about giving yourself a chance to feel love and to be loved that's called soul food we all need it ,so get out there and have some fun,don't look for love it will fine you so take the chance it's called living life

Answer 4

This happened to my little brother he's 21 years old and this nasty girl broke his heart and he hasn't been able to get over it or trust another girl. It has totaly shatered his confidence....and all this happened 2 years ago. You would be the perfect couple! I keep telling him to just go out, have fun and don't expect too much and then one day your true love will come into your life and WHAM you won't know what hit you but you'll know he's the one. Good luck sister. xx

Answer 5

It sounds like you have been seriously hurt in the past and that has made you scared to commit and vulnerable.Maybe you should see a counsellor as this is what they are trained to do.The only way forward is if you learn to love yourself and your feelings,everybody gets hurt at least once in their lives,but the secret is to pick yourself up dust yourself off and move on and not dwell on the what ifs..............good luck.

Answer 6

You need to get rid of all your resentment before you try and start a new relationship. I have 5 horrendous relationships but have had counselling and am now in a relationship that is great! But you have to take it easy and be honest and totally open

Answer 7

first try to forgive urself for not giving pple a chance that will make u feel better. then learn to look at life in a positive way. trust urself then u will be in a good postion to trust others, try it, it works

Answer 8

You have to make peace with yourself before you can establish a meaningful relationship with another. There's more to this than a few failed relationships. Have you ever sought counseling?

Answer 9

you have been burned so badly its called survival go with ur gut instinct nobody can make u happy why rush into something when u say urself im single im happy

Answer 10

Dont let your past control your future.You dont have to drop your guard,just dont hold them so high