I am so confused, i am south african (Tswana) my fiancee is also south african (Swati) and he paid lobola, he doesnt want to have a "white" wedding, he says that we are not white..lol..but my mother insist's that we should have a white wedding. My friends think so too but i love my fiance..I am caught in a dilemma.
2007-03-15 02:41:32 · 14 answers · asked by Shereen G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The wedding decisions should be between you and your fiance...
Yes at times, you both may need to discuss issues with others, to get their view point or ideas... but the ultimate decision comes from you both...
...Please don't get people involved into your wedding too much, as you will start to lose control over your wedding, as you have too many people having their in decision and in put into it...
..Its you and your fiance's day together. This evening YOU TWO sit down and decide what you both want for your wedding...
Congratulations and good luck!x
2007-03-15 02:53:02 · answer #1 · answered by ஐ♥PinkBoo - TTC #1♥ஐ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I am also South African from Johanneburg. I know of many people in the same situation. I know that some of them will opt for both. A very good friend of mine decided to do the following: For her wedding she had two outfits made, one traditional and one white STUNNING dress. At the church service she wore her white dress and with the reception she changed into her traditional wedding garments. She had pictures taken for both. I now its a bit of a shlep, but it pleased her family as well, speak to hubby and ask him what he thinks. and Congrats on your big day.
2007-03-15 03:11:30 · answer #2 · answered by shellerjc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is precisely the reason why I would go and get marreid with none of them around!!! Too much stress. It is YOUR day and (sorry to say this) it has f**k all to do with anyone else what you decide to do. I was pressured into the white wedding thing to make everyone else happy - ended up dumping the guy before the wedding but even then it was too much stress. Won't do it again like that.
2007-03-15 02:50:58 · answer #3 · answered by Charlene 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do a little of both... do what you want and what you like the best.... If you want a white dress and a traditional african wedding... go for it. Your a little both of both right?? So why not do a little bit of both.... mixing is fun and a great way to make it your own!!!
2007-03-15 03:15:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not have a hyrbid celebration.
I went to a beautiful wedding that was kinda 'white' but they infused it with some african themes....(they jumped the broom to name a nice one).
it was especially nice since they had relatives that flew in from african (to america) for the wedding and the more traditional african elements made them feel wanted and welcomed too!
2007-03-15 02:54:41 · answer #5 · answered by kissmymiddlefinger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you want? It's easy for others to live vicariously through you but they're not getting married. What type of wedding makes you excited? Whatever you choose it'll be nice. It's easy for some to want to be different and have a change of pace from their culture, but you have to decide what type of wedding will celebrate your day the most. And your fiance's input is significant, it's his day too.
2007-03-15 02:49:24 · answer #6 · answered by wrtrchk 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have the wedding that you both want not what others tell you to have. If you both want an African wedding then go for it.
2007-03-15 06:08:50 · answer #7 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
am an African myself from West African I guess you can have both, engagement for traditional and weddings are for christians. So once you are a christian you should allow a man of God to bless your marriage and for God's blessings.
2007-03-15 03:09:46 · answer #8 · answered by boselydia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who gives a rats azz what your friends think?
Your mother too but to a lessor extent since she may or may not be the one footing the bill.
if she is not paying for it, have the wedding your HUSBAND wants.
After your marriage, it is you and him not you and your mother and your friends.
If you do not stand by him on this one, there is not much hope for the sucess of the marriage as he will obviously be offended knowing what you value more than his opinion. The marriage is about YOU AND HIM and your creator....the other people are audience members.
Make sure that they have the proper role in the movie of your and your husband's life.
NO need to be rude to them, you just tell them that you want very much to start your marriage on a proper note and would love to have their support in planning an african wedding.
(leave it up to them)
If they dont want to participate that is their choice but ask yourself who would you rather have NOT show, your husband or your so called friends......
IT is not about THEM it is about you and HIM
2007-03-15 02:46:54 · answer #9 · answered by lisa s 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's your wedding, not your mother's nor your friends. It's the day you are going to remember & cherish forever. Explain that patiently to your mother. Her love for you will do the rest. Friends will be happy for you too when they see you are happy.
Congratulations!
2007-03-15 02:51:47 · answer #10 · answered by MoiMoii 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋