because he's strict,even thought he never hit her.He's just strict,and give her a stern look.Should i tell him.? What would be appropriate of him to do?
2007-03-15 02:29:33 · 34 answers · asked by dersexy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Why don't you deal with the situation yourself?
2007-03-15 02:31:59 · answer #1 · answered by Funky Little Spacegirl 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you did not talk to your daughter about her behaviour towards her grandmother as soon as possible then Don't tell dad. You must address issues as they arise, not wait for the other parent to come home.The child will be better able to understand the situation if you explain something right away. You are both the parents and equally responsible for parenting (the good and the bad- it shouldn't be nice mommy, mean daddy) Your child should not be afraid of her dad, although I think I know what you mean about being strict and the look. I think that both daddy and you should sit down with your daughter down and quietly talk with her about respect. This is one of those situations where you should reinforce lessons on love and respect.This is not a time for punishment. You want her to learn that life is not just punishments.Let her know that she owes grandma an apology (in person, not on the phone or in a note).This will be very difficult for her to do but she will remember this lesson better than a spanking or a time out.Life is not about punishment but about learning life's lessons.
2007-03-15 11:04:40 · answer #2 · answered by gussie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how she disrespected her, so I couldn't tell you what an appropriate punishment would be. But I am 26, and I still get angry when I think of the times I confided in my mother or begged my mother not to tell my father something and she did it anyway, sometimes even after telling me she wouldn't. The trust between a child and its mother is important, and though it may not seem like it now, keeping it between yourselves will help her to trust you when she has a problem later on in life. I'm not saying she shouldn't be punished if the situation calls for it, but I don't think you should involve her dad.
2007-03-15 04:34:42 · answer #3 · answered by luvlandon2006 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have make appropriate apologies and write Grandma a note telling her she will be a good girl and let it go. Dad wont punish her if she has made the proper amends before he finds out.
As an afterthought- I really dont think its a good idea to keep Dad in the dark on the subject but Mom could discuss it with him after she is in bed since she will have already apologized he should understand that shes small and has a lot of learning to do.
2007-03-15 02:33:12 · answer #4 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my son who will be 5 in May is the same way. if he acts up he dont want me telling his daddy either. that is also because he is stricter then i am just because he isnt with him all the time like i am. I am a stay at home mom and i admit many things fly past me just because i dont feel like spending my days punishing kids all day long. I do discipline when need be, but my son knows he gets away with more with me then his dad who comes home and has already had that break away from kids to beable to have the energy to do so like he should. When my son is disrespectful to his grandma or anyone in fact, i do take that seriously because it is a reflection on me and the way i am raiseing my child. Depending how ur child disrespected her grandma determins if it is something u should speak to her dad about. Other wise i think u can handle this one. U could even let dad know what happened but make sure he knows u already took care of it so he dont feel he has to entervene but he is aware of the situation for the future. Ur daughter needs to know that YOU are also boss and not just daddy or she will walk all over u and daddy will start to feel like he spends all day long away just to come home to be bad guy. My kids may get away with more with me then with daddy, but they know i wont hesitate to put the smack down on them if i need to. I do have wonderful kids who are mostly well behaved but learning as well. Im sure u will do just fine. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-15 02:48:40 · answer #5 · answered by goober 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Secrets!!!!!!! What kind of example do you want to show your daughter. Simply tell her that you and daddy, love each other very much and because of that you have no secrets, especially ones that involve someone they love and care for very much. After you have punished her, whatever you decide that is, tell her that when you do tell daddy you will explain to him consequences were given and nothing else needs to be said about it. Also warn her, if it happens again you will let her father intervene as well. You will not only be showing her good parenting, but what a committed and honest relationship is about. Children learn how love and respect their future spouses at a very young age.
2007-03-15 05:45:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should not let a 6 yr old limit you into telling her dad or anyone else, specially at a situation where she has disrespected not only an adult but her grandma. I'm sorry but this is how problems begin, she will see she can boss you around and before you know it will have you doing anything she wants. Put your feet down, let her know "you are sorry but she did something wrong and her dad needs to know" that will show her to thnk next time... Talk to her dad alone and let him know she is afraid of what he thought and like that you guys can discuss a punishment for her..be reasonable. He can sit down with her and let her know if she does something like this he needs to know too and not be afraid of her dad... she should not be afraid... good luck
2007-03-15 02:43:29 · answer #7 · answered by GIGI 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as a punishment is fair and decisive, it will not hurt your child. You and her dad should both take part in the nurturing and the disciplining. If you do have a good balance that will be better for her and you. Plus, it would be better if you taught her some manners. Not trying to be rude, but I grew up learning please and thank you. Teach her how to be and you will have to correct her less. Basically, not only point out the wrong things when she does them but show her the way she should act.
2007-03-15 02:38:08 · answer #8 · answered by reds_777 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't tell her dad she will have the upper hand. I think you should explain it to him alone and then have her tell him while you are all there. Let him be stern, but not to take it out of control. She needs to learn respect and that is a great way to start. All kids have their moments, but they need to have boundaries and discipline along with it. GOOD LUCK :)
2007-03-15 02:39:48 · answer #9 · answered by Ang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your daughter was in your presence when she was disrespectful, then you should have made her apologise to grandma straight away, with no need for dad to be involved. It is unfair to double punish her for something that you've already disciplined her for- and it will create a situation where she is 'held hostage' by you threatening dad's wrath if she misbehaves- and you'll place your husband in the 'bad guy' box in doing so.
Make sure you punish her right away if she misbehaves...if you have done it- then dad need not be involved. You should tell your husband if you feel you need to, BUT as I said- if you have already punished her- then he should NOT.
2007-03-15 03:01:30 · answer #10 · answered by SheDevilBelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should tell him. It's time to grow a backbone.
Your child needs you to be an adult and a strong parent.
She is six. What kind of child do you think she will be at 10 or 12. Get things under control now before it is too late.
2007-03-15 02:56:02 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋