what to do if your teenager son lie to you?

Answer 1

My son is fifteen. If he lied to me and I found out about it, I would not allow him to do things that required my trust. As an example, I would not allow him to go to the movies with his friends. I would say, I'm sorry I can't trust you. And he would have to earn my trust back.

Answer 2

My 11 1/2 yr old son is a habitual liar. It has been a real problem in our house. When you find something that works, let me know.

Usually, lies occur to accomplish something: 1.Protect the liar 2. Protect the feelings of the person being lied to or worst 3. the person is a chronic liar and is nearly incapable of telling the truth.

With kids it's usually 1 or 2. My son and I had a discussion about lying and it's effects (destroying trust and credibility) We're still working on it and he's getting better. When he has been truthful about something he did wrong, we go pretty light on the punishment. but when he lies about something he's done wrong he gets doubly punished (and we always find out about the lie, usually same day)

We also did some role playing with situations that may seem easier to lie in and then worked out how to be truthful instead. (Example: I ask him if my pants make me look fat. Tough question for any guy... he can say "maybe a different pair of pants would look better with that shirt" rather than "no, you look great" and letting me walk out of the house looking stupid. Example 2: He used the indoor broom to sweep up the outside deck. Instead of lying about it to keep himself from being found out, just saying "yes, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention to which broom I grabbed" will only result in my asking him to be more careful rather than having to punish him for lying.)

If, however, your problem is the third issue, then get professional help.

Answer 3

"if he lies to you" IF he lies? lol. He's a teenager he is going to lie at some point.This is normal and the really bad part is he probably learned from you. I am trying to be insulting I am trying to be realistic. When the kids answer the phone and we saytell them I'm not here, or they hear us tell the neighbor that we have some important engagement when we just dont want to attend their party -- well I hope you get the point. Don't get too bogged down in the fact that the child lied. He was trying to keep from getting in trouble and figured he'd give it a shot. Sometimes they lie to you and youdon't find out. Like sneaking out or skipping a class at school. Our society plans to lie (look at radar detectors - a cheat aid) Relax, punish him for the "crime" he lied about and add an extra day to the grounding for lying. Good luck -k-

Answer 4

When i was a teenager i did the same things cos no matter what i say or talk to my parents i get negative replies. And things get worst when they don't trust me anymore and no matter what lies i use don't work anymore, i left home. I'm not here saying all teenager will or should do that. Cos it is really hard to be away from your family. Now i have my own kids and understand how my parents feel. But a teenager will never know, please put yourself in their position, think back when your a teenager, before you say NO to everything.

Answer 5

Don't listen to that "it's normal for teens to lie" garbage! Don't accept it! If your kid lies to you, ask him why he felt he needed to lie to you and tell him to be honest with you in letting you know. Even if it's about you or his father. Teaching honesty is every parents responsibility and yes, sometimes they will lie to you but it doesn't mean you should just accept it as the norm! Hold him accountable. But don't be an *** about it. Did you really think you were going to have a child and expect him never to make mistakes? Of course not. So try to talk with him and maybe see what kind of solution you both can work out together. Good luck

Answer 6

That's a tough one, Girl.

No parent likes to find out their child has discovered lying. Parents smile at the chocolate-faced toddler who is shaking her head, denying she just ate the forbidden cookies. But, toddlers also have such simple lives and are so completely dependent on their parents to survive, it's a good thing they can't lie!

The older our children get, the more likely they will lie about something to us. We have to remember that one lie, or even frequent (but -not- dangerous!) little-white-lies on one subject, don't make our kids "liars," or that they can't be trusted to tell the truth when it's serious. Remember--most of your friends have lied to you, and you to them, about "unimportant" things. The difference with your children is that you have had years of experience changing their diapers, nursing them from sickness to health...not many boundaries between a parent and a little kid.

If your child is lying about something critical--smoking, drugs, crime, or -dangerous- sexual activities (not using condoms, etc.), punishment for the lie is the least of your problems. Talk to them like you would a good friend you're trying to help; that way, your child won't see you as a prison guard to be tricked, but a life coach, a knowledgeable resource, to reference when they're confused.

Hope this helps you, Girl.

Answer 7

Its a hard fact but its true our sons like to lie in some point or another. Tell him that you don't like being lied at.

Answer 8

I liked my mother's response best "Do you really think that I am that stupid? I remember more about you than you remember about you. Don't you think that I can tell when you are lying? Let's try again. Now, answer me."'

She would take a privilege away and warn that lying was something that children did. If the lying didn't stop, he wasn't going anywhere, doing anything and could spend his time sitting around thinking about how stupid it was to lie to his mother.

Answer 9

It all depends on the scenario, was he lying to coverup something bad that he did? Was he lying to try and protect a friend from getting into trouble?

You should let him know that it is better to tell the truth and face the consequences than it is to hide behind a lie.

Answer 10

I think it would be harder to find a teenage son who doesn't lie to his parents on occasion.
That doesn't mean he should get away with it...explain to him how he needs to be truthful to you if he wants you to trust him.

Answer 11

ground him, and tell him its very wrong to lie and its especially really wrong to lie to parents. because that can hurt the trust between parents and their children. and children and teenagers can learn from their mistakes. and make sure it never happens again if you want a truthful and honest relationship with your teenager.