I really really cannot stand this girl, she was friends with my boyfriend (they were pretty close)..I met her and we got on really well and I really liked her but then she started acting strange and telling lies to break us up, they fell out over christmas (not down to me, but I was so much happier knowing she was out of my life, and out of my boyfriend's life), she used to email him obsessivly, I've never said anything horrible to her or about her, nor did I deserve this treatment anyway at christmas she sent my boyfriend an email saying things about me which weren't very nice, calling me immature and saying i was threatened by their friendship and saying I do not trust my boyfriend, which really got to me as he didnt stick up for me even though none of this is true (which he admitted too). Anyway they hadn't spoke since christmas but now she's back and it is really upsetting me but he just thinks I'm blowing it out of proportion, what should I do to get her to leave him alone?
2007-03-15 02:15:47 · 20 answers · asked by beautay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can do nothing to get her to leave your boyfriend alone. It is your boyfriend who needs to get her to leave him alone. He seems to be encouraging her attention, for what reason is not clear. She is clearly creating problems between you and your boyfriend and it is also clear of how he puts her friendship ahead of your feelings. You need to let him know that your feelings are being discounted. If he continues to put his friendship with her ahead of how you feel, then this should tell you he does not value his relationship with you as he should. The decision will then have to be yours, to either stay and take it or go. Best of luck in whatever you decide.
2007-03-15 02:33:21 · answer #1 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should first of all, let your boyfriend know that you really don't feel comfortable with the emotional relationship between the two. You have every right to feel threatened. You should sit down and have a serious talk. He may say you are just being jealous, and taking things out of control. But, ask him to put himself into your shoes, what if you were friends with a guy, and you had a spell of not talking, and he emailed you obsessivly? He probably wouldn't be too thrilled. Ask him to polietly address the situation. You can't make him completly stop talking to her, (which I dont know why he would even talk to her anyways) but you can ask that he not be so invovled with her. Also, make him be aware that if he doesn't fix this situation, then you have a talk with her. Ask her would she be comfortable with her boyfriend talking with another female all the time. Good Luck!
2007-03-15 02:22:30 · answer #2 · answered by Ashley_Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your boyfriend that you don't want this much drama in your life and tell him she's damaging your relationship with him. Be open to him about it but also be concerned with his feelings. You could also call her and tell her how it is. After I found some emails between my hubby and his ex, I called her, she didn't answer but I left her a message - not a mean one, but one that would make her feel morally wrong - and she's been out of the picture sense. Good luck what ever you do.
2007-03-15 02:30:08 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your guy will respect the fact, that you just deal, but if you're tired of it let him know that it bothers you and ask him if he could not try to contact the girl( but you can't say not to talk to her or you lose). There is nothing you can do to make her leave him a lone that a choice that your boys got to make. If you force this decision get ready to move on.
2007-03-15 02:29:21 · answer #4 · answered by shocker83_fear_me23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its between you and your boy, you cant be fighting the world. i had a similar problem with my girl and her ex, I simply gave her an ultimatum not to talk to him for what ever reason. why make some creat complications for you two. The fact he saying you blowing out of proportion means he sympathising with her at your cost. Why does he have a problem with jus ignoring and shutting her out of your lives. simple
2007-03-15 02:29:45 · answer #5 · answered by Stargate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her know that ur with him whether she likes it or not, and if u last or not shouldnt have anything to do with her, and that she should b happy 4 her friend.
let him know this also and make sure he stikcs up 4 u. if not, just love and leave him, noone is worth that much heartache and ridicule. let him know that too, if she keeps it up. u wont b there 4 much longer. tell him to tell her to back off or bye bye
ps as hard as it sounds, ud b much happier without her right???
much luck
<3
2007-03-15 02:23:37 · answer #6 · answered by Sammmy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just talk to her one-on-one. Ask her why she is being mean to you etc. Remember to be extra nice so if she tries to get to you or goes to your bf you can say that you were nice and SHE was the nasty one;)
Or you can just beat her up... Not a good way to go though...
2007-03-15 02:20:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you really want her gone, you could give him the its her or me speech.... If he really loves you and wants to be with you he should understand and respect your feelings. You should be more important and some 'friend' that talks crap about you....he shoulda never let that happen. You should come first before anyone! Good luck
2007-03-15 02:20:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your bf again and if he still doesnt do anything then say something to her. if that doesnt work then it might be better to remove yourself from the situation and break up with him. he might have some deeper feelings for her that he doesnt want to admit which maybe why he isnt doing anything. he might just think its easier for you to get upset and break up with him then for him to do it. ive been in a similar situation, and after we broke up they were together days later. and yeah it hurt but eventually its better for you. good luck.
2007-03-15 02:24:20 · answer #9 · answered by Shannon P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just dump your boyfriend and become a lesbian. You won't have to deal with this drama. Who knows? You and that girl might even be soulmates. Good luck
2007-03-15 02:19:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋