I was fooled by the one that I loved, how do I move on from this?

Question

2 months after I have been suddenly dumped without any warning and gave me no reason, he decided to contact me and tell me his explanations. He has admitted that he was unhappy for the last few months of the relationship and that he does not feel the same way about me anymore. I keep on asking what has changed or what did I do, did he felt bored, did he feel trapped and restricted and wanted freedom, did I not satisfy him, and any other reason why a man would leave, but he replied to as "i don't know why, i just feel this way". He also admitted that for those past few months he had been pretending that everthing was ok, so basicly every "I love you", everytime we were intimate in bed, i even asked him straight if he was happy with me and he said yes. I have been fooled, the man that I absolutely loved and adored did not love me any more and pretended. Why couldn't he tell me before, we could of worked things out, he still can't tell me why he was unhappy. Feel heartbroken 4 2nd time.

Answer 1

let me guess you cant stop thinking about him and driving urself mad trying to think about how he did this to you, what did you do wrong....HOLD UP GIRL!
you prob done nothing wrong and i can guarantee you the longer you drive yourself mad thinking the crzier you are going to get. When are women going to realise ya ho he hurt you and im sure we all lknow what its like to have our heart torn in two, iv had it done 2 me & for awhile ya i was devasted but you know something the sooner i realised that if he didnt want me then he wasnt good enough for me i walked out on the street with my head held high and became the independant strong woman i am today it takes a knock down to make you realise what sort of a person you are, if you can get back up fighting then you should be proud of your self..and jus so you know that happened me 5years ago he broke my heart without an explanation and i eventually moved on....after a while he came crawling back and today we are together four years since we last broke up and im still the strong woman that i was when he left me... Dares a whole world out dare stand up and take it all in...and good luck x

Answer 2

Wow, i know this feeling and it's an ugly feeling.

Just remember it was you who was lied to. You have no control in this case until the truth is told.

Some will tell you, "You"re just too gullible" or "How could you be so Naive?". Your neither. You can't make proper/right decisions on false information. But not making the same mistake is another question.

I'm not going to suggest that you lock up your heart, that's a place that's cold and can be awfully lonesome but my suggestion may prove to be harder to do.

From my own experiences I rushed into the relationships blinded by my need to love and be loved, when I should have listened my mother. What I mean is at some point of relationship you asked yourself, "Should I or Shouldn't I?" and chose to GO FOR IT. When you made this decision did you or could you respect yourself in that decision?

Hast makes waste. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Never count your chickens before they are hatched and any other words of wisedom my apply but the one that sticks out the most is:

Why Buy the Cow if the Milks for Free?

Did you give yourself away with nothing in return? This does not neccessarily mean sex exclusively. But normally we do nice things to others because we'd like it done to us.

i.e. Did you get a back hub after you gave one? Are your gettings less than your givings?

In my case, every time I was fooled it was because I thought it is better to give than receive. This theory ONLY applies at Christmas. If you don't recieve what you but in than your selling yourself short and to cheaply.

Do unto others as YOU would have them do to you and VIS VERSA. No one is going to look after you but YOU.

Answer 3

You will get over it-- trust me. Show me someone who has never had a heart break and I will show you someone who has never loved. Life should be about learning and remembering the hard lessons though-- so we don't have to re-live them again and again if you know what I mean.

Next relationship, start with a mental relationship first -- not just jump into a physical one. Get to know the person. Get to know them well. Get to know their dreams, goals and ambitions. This is probably the key right here. You both have to be heading the same direction in life if it ever has a chance to work! Any guy that tells you he "has to have an intimate physical relationship" right NOW is after one thing and you will be hurt over and over again. If they tell you they can't wait, cut em' loose -- immediately. Physical intimacy should be something very special and not just something you do with every guy you date. If they agree to wait for you take your time.

Watch how they act when there is pressure. Observe their reactions around children and animals. Ask your self if you could see yourself possibly spending the rest of your life with this person. If the answer is no, end it and don't take it to the next level. Cut the relationship and move on.

Answer 4

Sweetie, heatbreaks happen. It hurts even more when you feel you are being cheated. You have to stop thinking about the last few months he said he pretended. Probably he is just giving an excuse to break up. From what i see i think you already know there's something worng because you asked him is he happy or do you need to change. Anyway that was the passed, I know you have unaswered question, try wrting a ltter or an email about your feelings to him. Whether or not he replies you feel better after expressing it. From now on try to occupy your time with new hobbies or go on a trip. Let time heal your wounds..

Answer 5

he pretended to be one way while secretly hiding who he really was. don't feel heartbroken, not everyone is going to love and be the right person for us. and no u probably could not have worked it out, because u both were traveling down different paths in life. he can't tell u why, because his reasons are flimsy, and shallow, meaning he is shallow, so why would he admit those things about himself? they do leave without warning, but its been planned for a long time.

Answer 6

Life is very unpredictable and so are relationships. We always think that this is everything I wanted and tend to give in a 100%. However it backfires and that is the case with you. I strongly advice that u let him go. Maybe just the fact that you have been always available had led him to taking you for granted. Time is the biggest healer...it may just get u guys back or u may realise that he was not the one for you.

Answer 7

Well if he wasn't happy with you, it would be better for you to move on and try not to dwell on it too much. There is a saying I read "if you meet the right person at the wrong time, it's exactly the same as meeting the wrong person". Chalk it to experience and get on with life and finding the right person. What doesn't kill you makes you stonger. Go out and enjoy yourself and you will get over him more quickly than you think.

Answer 8

i can understand how u feel.. its not just you are missing the guy, its really disappointing for you that he quit without any major reasons. I would say its a good beginning for you and it seems that the guy you chose is not sure about himself. So put this behind, and focus on other aspects of your life such as your career, hobbies and interests. Speak out to your close friend about this.. till she gets bored lol. Dont be anxious to know why things happened, you never know. just be kewl and wait for the right time. time is the healer and who knows whats in store for you. only time can say. dont regret or feel disappointed.. life is too short to be wasted!

Answer 9

I have been told that the best way for a woman to get over a man is to get under another one.

Heartbreak happens to everyone. It will happen again. It doesn't make love less of a great ride.

Answer 10

" If you could have known u could have worked things out" maybe thats the mistake, if he has fallen out with you, nothing that u try will please him or bring him back.

I know it hurts when u know that u have being giving ur 100%, while he was just pretending the whole time. Learn to read the signs, don't try very hard... sometime its best to let nature do its magic.....

Believe me, nothing you did was wrong.... don't blame him or you.. it just happens sometimes....