When I was 10 years younger, I admired this guy and we became good friends... he was quite handsome back then, I was an ugly duckling, but he still treated me very well. Recently we met again, and we are able to chat like the old times, and we are both single, but now I'm better looking :p and he does not look my type... though I really like his personality.
Has this ever happened to you? What would you think if you were me?
2007-03-15 00:51:54 · 11 answers · asked by Lilliana 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If I truly only cared about looks, I wouldn't be asking this, would I? But it was a huge disappointment when I saw him again... but I did not show it. I'm learning to adapt to it... and am determined not to ask him to change.
2007-03-15 01:02:13 · update #1
If you have come across someone who you have not seen in 10+ years, it is only human nature to compare the person as you knew them then, to how you see them today. So your way of thinking sounds perfectly normal to me. However, its a two way street, as he will compare you to how he remembered you in the past as well. So don't feel bad about it. This is why class reunions can sometimes be a bit stressful time for those who perceive themselves to not be as successful as their peers. Having said that, judging a person by looks alone is like judging a book by its cover. You need to assess the whole person, not just the looks. Looks tend to fade as you get older.
I am 39, and in a time span over 14 years, I have come across 3 girls I knew in primary school, and one from high school (out of the four, I knew two of them really well). In my mind, only one the girls from primary school had changed in a way that was a bit of a let down, and that was only her fashion sense. The others had maintained themselves well, and had not changed much at all in that time. Their personalities had not changed much either. It was great to see. I think females tend to take more pride in their appearances than men anyway.
Also, if you know a person really well in school, you can also form an opinion as to how you think that person would progress through life, and what might become of them as they get older. Sometimes you may be right, and in other cases you may be wrong. In the case of the girl I knew well in high school, at that time she was stunningly beautiful, very intelligent, and had a fantastic personality. A number of us guys admired her from afar, and I never doubted that she would be a success in life. When I met her 10 years later, and after comparing notes, I was not definitely not disappointed. Reunions are fun, aren't they?
2007-03-15 16:26:12 · answer #1 · answered by Michael T 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How wonderful for you that you have become the graceful swan which you deserve to be! Now you must make your inside actions match the outer beauty everyone must so admire.
If this man is a good friend and stood by you during your difficult days of ugly duckling youth, he must be a cut above the typical male who is only interested in the "wrapping" and not what's inside the box.
Because he stood by you, there is a certain onus placed upon you to return the favor to him during his difficult time. Was he in some accident or suffered some misfortune that caused him to change in your eyes, or has your ego kept you from seeing the truth?
Beauty is a wonderful commodity. But I can promise you, whatever your opinion of your own wonder and joy is, if you don't take the care and patience to create inner beauty by your actions, you will be viewed as the shallow person you really are.
Rent the movie "Shallow Hal".
It ain't all about looks, honey! Looks don't last but personality and caring do!
2007-03-15 01:03:48 · answer #2 · answered by stonechic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this does happen to us all. Yes, there are some friends I have know for over 40 years and I think that now they are not the most beautiful women in the world but I do not say a word to them. I still treat them as I once did and they are still my friends. Years can make a difference in our looks. I, myself, look at myself now and saw, "Damn, what happened." No one says anything to me and my friends still know it is me, even if they have not seen my in 20 0r more years. Keep your friend as a friend. It is still the same person!
2007-03-15 01:02:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Looks should not come first. You were ugly and he didn't care so why should u care what he look like. If he's nice with a great personality and treats you right i say go for it.
2007-03-15 00:57:54 · answer #4 · answered by wisegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's only fair to treat him with the same respect that he treated you with, especially if you like him.
The tables have turned, but he's still the guy who was nice to you when you weren't very pretty. Show him the same courtesy?
2007-03-15 00:56:21 · answer #5 · answered by Sara 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
disappointed at the most
you are not attached to him like it happens some places
so no need to think of it much
2007-03-15 00:57:32 · answer #6 · answered by Caring 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt care about his looks. Looks change, its the inside that matters.
2007-03-15 00:57:36 · answer #7 · answered by saltnsaffron 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm Ego Boost much?? get over yourself lady he went for you when you were an ugly duckling. it's about personality too.
2007-03-15 00:56:45 · answer #8 · answered by dodge 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
beauty is truely skin deep. Careful that you might get what you wish for and and also everything you didn't
2007-03-15 00:56:58 · answer #9 · answered by J B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if you like him, go for it. looks are not everything
2007-03-15 00:57:12 · answer #10 · answered by jazzy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋