I am totally confused about my ex and what to do. We were together 9 mths & she ended things 6 wks ago as "her feelings had changed over a short period". There were some other factors present at that time as well inc her being very down, work stress, tiredness etc but she denied these were an issue.
I decided not to contact her to give her space. She contacted me, we met up for a drink & had a really nice time and agreed to see each other again soon. I rang her a few days later & suggested we meet up again & she was a bit off with me, & made some excuses why we couldn't meet but she suggested we meet in 2 or 3 wks time.
I decided that, whilst it may be nice to see her again in a couple of wks, I should start to think about moving on. I put myself on a date website just to get back out there.
I have now met someone on there. I don't think it is fair to dive into anything with her & I don't want to be on the rebound.
Help!! What do I do? I love my ex but can't wait forever.
2007-03-14 23:03:04 · 9 answers · asked by hantsguy1977 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
move on....date...forget the rebound business and just have fun for a time....don't wait....good luck
2007-03-14 23:06:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
first of all, well done about being fair to your new partner. You're right, it's not fair to involve her in something that doesn't have your full heart and commitment. I'd contact your ex and tell her that you have met someone who may be quite important to you, and that you just wanted to tell her. Don't give her an ultimatum - this is your last chance and all that. Just watch her reaction, that will tell you everything you need. There may be regret, there may be relief, or she may ask for another chance for you two. However, what you have done is draw a line in the sand and tell her that, from this point, you are moving on and that the decision whether you finally go is up to her.
You could both wait around forever for each other, witih neither having the courage to move on and leave. You now have the opportunity for happiness again and by telling your ex, you are giving her the opportunity to reclaim you back and reclaim your relationship, or for her to wish you well and let you go.
Good luck, I know it's difficult. I've been there a million times before, but sometimes relationships just run their course and there's nothing left in them to carry on. It takes two people to make a relationship and if your ex's heart isn't in it, you should make the break and move on. But good manners dictate that you should tell her first.
Be strong, I wish you well.
2007-03-15 06:19:32 · answer #2 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like from the info you have given that she is moving on from your relationship and you should too. If you have only been been together for 9 months just thank your lucky stars it wasn't a few years. She is treating you with disrespect and asking for distance it means she wants to leave you lurking in the background to feed her ego whenever she has nothing else to do. I am just being totally honest with you we women really do this from time to time as sad as that is to say. But you can be sure if she is treating you like this now she will treat you like her puppy dog in the future as well. Don't be her puppy dog or her emotional doormat have more respect for yourself. Also I should mention 9 months really isn't enough time to really truly know a person because they put on the act and the game face the 1st year or two that you know them because everything is new and wonderful AT FIRST, but it is still the honeymoon phase after a while the honeymoons over. Maybe you really did not know her that well so you could not have loved her that much in 9 months. Maybe you loved the IDEA of what you thought she was...now you know better.
Who paid for dinner...you right?... I rest my case.
Sorry we women are jerks too do not take her calls let them go to voicemail and wait a few days to call her back ... let her chase you if you want her back ...really let her chase you...and do not buy her anything...if she doesn't call forget about her I just saved you from the future headaches.
2007-03-15 06:27:38 · answer #3 · answered by CAW1969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your ex has been pretty unreasonable towards you, and you've been patient with her. Try and forget about her and move on, but i'd give yourself some time first and be on your own. Don't meet someone just for the sake of it, as it's unfair on the new person. Tell your ex that you're fed up with the way she's behaving and that you're no longer willing to put up with being treated like this. Good luck.
2007-03-15 06:09:45 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe to love is to learn to let go. If she is for you she will come back with or without communication. Some relationships are made in heaven. Maybe she needs to realize what she has. you can move on but at times you need to take a step back to move forward. Ask her if she expects you to wait for her.
2007-03-15 06:12:40 · answer #5 · answered by Sweetie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is putting you off for a reason if she wanted to get back with you she would have and shes not so you need to just move on and if she calls you all you have to say is that you have found someone else, which i believe she wants you to do anyways..
2007-03-15 06:08:13 · answer #6 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mate, if you're after her, you're in trouble for she broke up and her mind might still be very confused... One the one hand you really love her, then just do your best to regain her favours (send flowers, red roses, odd number only, invite her to the restaurant, just please her and yourself)
on the other hand, you just really fancy her or you're confused as well...then it's really time to move on, meet new people, grab life as it comes...Otherwise, you'll be in a weird relationship that could end badly for you 2
Good luck
2007-03-15 06:11:49 · answer #7 · answered by Pelayo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if she blew you off and told you to wait 2-3 weeks? to see her again... that is retarted.. you really CANT wait forever. i would tell her either we are over. or we are getting back together because the mix messages she's giving you looks like she has you stressed out. its hard to forget about something you love so quick. but looks like she forgot about you pretty quick. "you can lose something great, but gain something better." just my opinion.
2007-03-15 06:11:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, don't waste your effort when you could be so much happier with someone else who appreciates you.
2007-03-15 06:07:39 · answer #9 · answered by agent flora 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋