Previously I was married for 18 yrs, then my husband molested our oldest daughter. For 9 yrs I remained single. I finally met a gentleman that seemed so honest, simple, and down to earth,. We married a yr after we met. But now , I am so very unhappy. He came across as someone different than he portrayed himself. Now I sleep on the couch, and he in my bedroom that I found solice in for many years. He claims to want to work things out, but he never initiates anything. We have talked and it's not that he isn't aware of my needs, he just doesn't do anything about them. We aren't kids, I am 54 and he will be 56. I find a pattern in his past , though he denies that they are similar to the present, but he has always been the dumped, not the dumpee. He's fantastic at fixing things around the house, but as a husband, he sucks. I feel so "trapped" as I do believe the only reason to divorce is adultry, and I',m not willing to sacrifice my soul. How do I live with this?
2007-03-14 20:51:52 · 7 answers · asked by iamjaycee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to be happy with your husband sexually IF sexually is what you want. You have needs, and it is terrible that he is not providing you with the necessity.
I suggest that you first try to get him to go to counseling with you, for the sex issue. Maybe there is something keeping him for initiating the sex.
If that does not work, then it is in your best interest to either have him approve an open marriage or to get a divorce.
2007-03-14 20:57:46 · answer #1 · answered by Susan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to put it on the line for him. Either he takes a serious interest in the married or you will be forced to leave. Most men, from my past experiences, want to be the right one for you, if he cares. When he told you what you wanted to hear, in his mind he intended do it. Unfortunately, it rarely works ou that way. They always go back to what they really are.
If the problems are not too severe, try marriage counseling. (Believe me there are no perfect men or women!!) You may have changed a bit yourself.
2007-03-15 04:05:30 · answer #2 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in korea there was best seller book 8yrs ago.
" getting married is the crazy ,stupid thing"
the author advocated the life without marrying someone.
you are the fine example.
I think you should try best to finish your marriage.
its not only meaningless but also harmful to your precious life to keep on this nonsense.
tell him the truth whats going on in your heart,
at least say to him we need temporary seperation.
2007-03-15 04:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i stoped reading at molested for 9 yrs personally i can't believe you would allow that to happen and didn't take your child and get the hell out of there as fast as you possibly could no matter what lay ahead anything is better than that.
2007-03-15 04:00:40 · answer #4 · answered by JOhNe=mc² 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're already sacrificing your soul by puting yourself through this torture! You had a failed marriage and this one seems pretty failed too and since he doesnt wanna bring 50% to help make it work just leave him! Be alone and seek counselling. You've been through enough as it is and its easier to be alone than to force yourself to be happy.
2007-03-15 03:58:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE THIS MAN! He messed with you for too long and not only you, your daughter...and thats a line he crossed...LONG AGO!
2007-03-15 03:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by Cayotegirl 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
make him fix himself up.
work things out.
do not give in to him. make him give in.
good luck
2007-03-15 03:58:35 · answer #7 · answered by SmilE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋