any good joke?

Question

pls make me laugh

Answer 1

ok, here u go:
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: Threw it off a cliff.

Q: how do you know if a blonde tried to commit suicide?
A: there were six bullet holes in the mirror.

One day two blondes were walking down the street. The first blonde pointed to the sky
and said, "HEY LOOK A DEAD BIRD!" The second blonde looks up!

Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says
to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and
too many numbers, so i would like to return it."
The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"


A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the
first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't
land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

Answer 2

All right, here's a long one.

This old heiress owned an old show poodle. One day the old heiress decided to go to Africa on a safari. She brought her poodle.

While in Africa, the dog decided that it was time to run away.

The dog was walking through the Savannah and saw a jaguar stalking it. The old dog looked around, and saw a pile of bones. It quickly went over to the bones and said "Wow, this is some really good jaguar."

Well, the jaguar thought better than to try to eat that thing he was stalking, because it eats jaguars, so it promptly began to run away.

But a monkey had witnessed the whole thing, and struck up a deal with the jaguar. "Listen here, mister jaguar, I know that thing doesn't eat jaguars, it just tricked you. If you don't eat me, I will prove it."

So the jaguar and the monkey were coming, and the poodle saw them coming. Thinking quick, the poodle said, "Where is that damn monkey, he was supposed to bring me another jaguar!"

The moral of the story, don't mess with old witches. (Give and take a letter).

Answer 3

Bill and Marla decided the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighbourhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are making love." Mom and Dad bolted upright in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony, too," his son replied.

Answer 4

Who is the smarter sex?
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad
one.

Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly
neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars,
the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a
woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but
fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that
we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for
the rest of our days."

The man replied, "I agree with you completely."

"This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And
look at this, here's another miracle. My car is
completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good
fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head
in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle
and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the
bottle, immediately puts the cork back
in and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police

Answer 5

read the jokes on the jokes and riddles . i am kidding

what did the dinasour cross the street ?

because the chicken hadn't evolve yet

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.

Answer 6

my dog wont quit chewing on my girlfriends underwear.

Answer 7

look at my "questions" in my profile.