How to know if ur fiance is cheating on u?

Question

I have been with my fiance for nearly two yrs.Five months back he cheated on me by having a fling relationship with my colleague for two months.I discovered it through opening his email and they stopped the flirting just after that but i still broke up with him.
I confronted my fiance why he has cheated.If it is abt me or the relationship that he is not happy abt.He said that I am a perfect partner and it was his fault.He cant give me a reason apart frm saying that "it just happened".The girl spoke to me telling that it was all just a game and that she denied having feelings for my guy.She knows that my guy loves me so she begged me to accept him back.My fiance confirmed that they didnt even touch each other and he has no feelings at all.It was just flirting by txting/calling.
We got bk 2gether aftr 1 month but until now I cant help but to doubt on him though there are no longer signs of him cheating. I can see that he has changed but still am paranoid.how 2 know if he is faithful?

thanks for all ur advices.just to add up, i can say that i definitely see changes in him.he gives me more importance and time now than before. he makes sure to call me every two hours to let me know his whereabouts, he is more expressive of what he feels.I dont know whats wrong with me why i cant get over the past thing that he did.I decided to forgive him coz i love him so much but still i cant forget coz i cant believe that he was able to cheat on me.and that he cant give a particular reason why he did it.im trying to trust him now but i dont trust the girls that are after him.i cant help but to always check his mobile which i dont like.

Answer 1

ask him

Answer 2

You won't like to hear this but, if he did this stuff once and basically got away with it (and he did because you took him back), he'll more than likely do it again. He is right in one respect, it's not your fault. Cheating has to do with one's ego. The cheater is usually insecure and needs to validate themselves with the attention of other people. It's also a power trip because they're deceiving someone close to them and they can control the amount of pain & suffering that they unleash on someone's life. It's a bit sick which is why cheater ususally don't change.

Your bf could very well change but, if he cheated on you before you were married, why would a piece of paper stop him? The trust is gone now. Your relationship is going to be totally different no matter how hard you try to make it "right" again.

You honestly need to look at this for what it is. He had not problem lying to you and hiding things from you. Next time, he'll be more careful. That's usually the only thing that changes. The cheater gets more careful.

You can't force someone to be faithful. Either they have it in them to be loyal or they don't. Sounds like your guy doesn't have much self control and that's a BAD sign.

No offense but, why would you believe your bf and this other chick. Why would they tell the truth? Do you think they really want you to know what happened. If they were flirting, what stopped them from going further. I know you want to believe that nothing happened but, you need to be realistic. Something must've happened because the attraction was there.

I can tell you, I've been a cheater and I've been cheated on. I can tell you both sides and I can tell you exactly what lies you're going to be told and why cheaters do what they do. I changed because I didnt' want to be that person anymore. Very few cheaters change.

If you think you can get over this, go ahead and try. If you do, you're a bigger person than most and I commend you on that. Personally, I'd drop him. Not only did he betray you, he put your health at risk. There's no telling what he did with her despite what they both say. It's just not worth the risk. Why sift through lies when you can just get out? No one is worth feeling bad and insecure all the time and that's all you'll be if you continue to stay with him.

I'm not trying to be mean but, as I said, I've been there. I tried to get over my ex cheating too and in the long run, I realized he was a louse and I don't HAVE to get over crappy stuff he did because he was weak and decided he needed attention from some old hag. I chose myself and my well being over him and I feel great about it. He came crawling back and that was the best feeling ever because he had no one to blame but himself. At the very least, entertain the thought of dropping him. No one is worth feeling like a fool over. No one. Good luck hun. You deserve so much better than this guy.

Answer 3

1) Refuses a ride back with you because she doesn't know how late she'd be. Of course, 'some colleague' will drop her back.

2) Discusses her taxation problems with that guy at work/friend's brother/ someone else instead of you; and you happen to be a chartered accountant.

3) Talk about a man and strangely, he is ALWAYS either gay or has a girlfriend. If he has a fiancee, you have two days to move out.

4) Decks up for this "really boring but imperative" office do. Of course the backless is because she has to be a professional even when she doesn't like it.

5) Debuts on stage or wins an award and you read about it in the papers. It's worse if she forgot to invite you or forgot you in her 'thanks to these people' list.

6) Tells you to take notes from the Kamasutra For Beginners that she gifts you on your birthday.

7) Refuses to do anything for you because she says she's developing a Superwoman complex.

8) Prefers men hairless and makes it a point to point it out to you by saying, "So what if you're very hairy? I have a thing for furry creatures."

9) Instead of getting turned on while looking at some err, hot stuff with you, starts laughing instead!

10) Looks relieved when you say points 1-9 are reasons the two of you are not working out and says with a smile, "Finally! It took you nine points to realise that?

Answer 4

He flirted, it is insensitive and inappropriate. It also isn't a full breach of trust.. if you ask yourself I am sure somewhere over the last two years you too have flirted. I think by catching him early you probably prevented him from cheating, but it should be a sign that something is probably lacking for him. People flirt when they feel they need the ego boost. If this is his problem (he always needs this extra attention) then he is gonna cheat, if it is the result of decreased attention from you, then you both have some control over the situation and should address it.

Answer 5

You definitely have to approach the situation with him. And if you think he may be cheating on you then I'm not sure you should be getting married to him. You obviously have a lot to work out and I'm not saying don't do it but I am saying that you need to take some time and work everything out.

Answer 6

I would set up a counseling appt for the two of you...you have mistrust happening..which can be expected from what he did to you..I don't blame you.....but, maybe you both can fix this problem...it's going to take a long time....depending on the two of you....but get a counselor so that you can talk more about it together!

Good luck!

Answer 7

I don't think you can ever know for sure but if you have a bad feeling about it you are probably right, if you can't leave him fine, just don't marry him unless you are 100% certain that he is not a liar and a cheater.

Answer 8

When one partner starts accusing the other of cheating without any real evidence that is usually a sign that they are themselves cheating or at least thinking about it.

Answer 9

Well, i really hope this makes you feel better. It sounds like he's just a thrill seeker, he likes flirting because its sneaky and he likes the feeling it gives him by doing something he shouldn't. It sounds harmless to me, really. I wouldnt worry too much about it. =o)

Answer 10

you don't know. you will never know. You can't read his mind and chances re they're both lying to you.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
That's not completely true. It's harder to trust someone after they've hurt you. Just confront him about your insecurities.

Answer 11

i think if you wanna know ... he wont treat you like before and he will have less sex with you...try tracking him where he goes what he do .... who are hs friends..... put small cameras in home special the bedroom because you know they are making out with another one ... i hope he is not cheating on i HATE seeing people get Sad !!! best of luck