How do I tell my Dad, "I dont like your girlfriend."?

Question

My Mom and Dad seperated when I was 10 (now 28) and since then I've had a long distance relationship with him. I love him with all my heart and still look up to him. I only get to see him maybe once a year and his girlfriend is usually there during our visit. The girlfriend and I dont get along very well, due to the fact that I cant even have a beer with him and just enjoy some time together. She always comes up with some reason to take him away from our time together, like she doesnt feel good or something stupid like that. These kinds of things are bringing my dad and I apart. How do I tell my Dad that this really hurting and affecting me in an awful way?

Answer 1

Tell dad you need to talk to him alone...Sit and tell him how you feel...You probably wont change anything, but at least it will be out of your head....

Answer 2

before I married my husband of 10 years..I was the "Girlfriend"..
To only see your dad maybe once a year? Maybe you have forgotten that he has also made a new life. Do you expect his girlfriend to just leave the home she is comfortable being in so you guys can have this visit together? Maybe she wants to feel apart of it as well. Look at it from her view..She may want to be accepted as part of the family. Sounds like dad should also make the time to see you more often.
Maybe you and your dad can plan something away in the next town for the day and return later that evening.
You have to remember,he is used to living his life a certain way as well and cant drop everything just because you come to visit. Sorry if this sounds rough, but I speak from expierence. I never would separate my husband from his children,but i would very much like to feel part of the family and involved. To me it sounds like your a bit jealous of the time she spends with him, time you all could share with him.
He loves you and he loves her too.

Answer 3

You don't really want to tell your dad that you don't like his girlfriend-it will only put him on the defensive end & maybe "close his eyes as to what is really going on" If you only visit once a year, there is no reason for him to dump her if this is the only thing wrong with her.
Just try to get him out out to lunch by himself & express how this makes you feel. Try not to point the finger at her, rather explain how it makes you feel when she monopolizes his time when you are there. Explain how it would be nice to have some alone time with him or if she could only accept you being part of his life, even if only once a year. Try to give true accurate examples(just 1-2) of situations she created a hurtful situation for you. If nothing else comes of this, after you talk with him he may be more tuned in to what she is doing. Most men (especially good hearted men)are blind to manipulating women & what they are doing & why.
Would it be possible for him to visit you at your home sometimes? Invite him to spend a week at your house. Maybe she would not come.
If none of these will work try taking them both out to a nice quiet lunch, and bring up the same topics with her there to witness everything you say. Say it all calmly & nicely & openly and make sure you mention how you wish she could accept you as his daughter so the two of you could be good friends since she is a big part of his life. (Kill her with kindness)Be sure to listen if she counters your comments with her own or has excuses, don't get defensive or loose your stand. You don't want this to become like the movie Monsters-in-law.
Good Luck!!!!

Answer 4

She probably feels threatened by your relationship and it is quite normal for both of you to be feeling the way you do. Have you ever tried to maybe go to lunch with her and get to know her a little bit better? You two already have one common interest and that is your father. I just don't believe that you have to battle this out and make it an "either her or me" kind of deal. Your dad deserves to be happy with this woman if he so chooses and does deserve to be able to spend time with you. Discuss with him your concerns and fears and ask him about ways that he can suggest to get through this. Sometimes getting together and getting it all out on the table helps clear the air and you find that it was all quite different than what you had thought. I hope this all works out for you!

Answer 5

Be honest with him. Tell him that, you don't like the fact that his lover is taking away the little time you have with him.
Also, approach the girlfriend on this. Tell her that you're sure she's wonderful for your father and all, but as his daughter, you are entitled to some time with him. She probably knows you spend little time with him, and she's trying to take it away.
You're not intentionally driving a wedge between the two, you just want time with your dad.
Tell your father your concerns and Reassure the girlfriend you're not there to cause trouble
Chances are things will work out fine from then on out.

Answer 6

I have learned to just stick with it. Honestly, take time to realize she might not be that bad. Get to know her a bit. She might be kind of cool. But, yes, it is very bad that she is taking your dad away from you and I think you should talk to him about it, and tell him what you really feel. If it doesn't do anything, just make sure you don't turn up to be an enemy.

Answer 7

'The same way you expressed this to the public, express this in the same way, verbally, to your dad. It probably won't change his feelings for his girlfriend but it will allow him to see it from your point of view. Have you ever thought to ask him if he would visit you alone or when you visit him if you could spend time alone. He knows that you love him and I'm willing to bet that he does not see it the way that you do. Try it see what happens.

Answer 8

you need to be honest with him and talk about it. don't come out and say like "dad i don;t like you girlfriend at all" or anything along those lines. go up to him and say dad i need to talk to u. then tell him not that u don;t like her but that u think shes pulling you guys apart and thats not something u want. and tell him that all you want to do is be close with him and that you guys need time 1 on 1. if he listens than it can work out for all three of u cuz she might change(can't say that for sure since i don;t know her). remember don;t do it in a way to drive him away cuz like u siad to me your parents "are the only ones you got"

Answer 9

I think that you should just come right out and be honest about it! You need to talk to him...one on one...tell your dad "this is really, really important to me...I am your daughter..and I need to spend some alone time with just you and I...nobody else! This is what I want from you...please, talk with me! I miss you,and I love you so much! You mean everything to me!"

I talked to my mom..and it was hard for me....(I didn't love my step-dad that much...he had a huge anger streak..when I was growing up....he's better,and I am much better around him as well!)It is hard to talk to your parents..but hey, while they are still alive..and coherent...please, make the time to do so! This is your family!!!!

Answer 10

Just be honest with him, without expecting him to dump her because of you. That would not be right of you to ask him that. If he is happy, you should do what you can to keep things good while your in his home. Even for a visit. Ask him to your home without her. Tell him you need some one on one time. Let her have the problem of trying to keep him from you.Not the other way around.

Answer 11

maybe just tell him--Hey Dad--we never have time alone--I'd like to spend some time with you without your girlfriend--she is okay to be around but I need to spend time with you alone--I think our relationship is drifting apart--etc--I would not comment on how you dislike his girlfriend--just stress on teh fact taht you want to spend more quality alone time with him--one-on-one--suggest going on outings with him--or having special nights just for the two of you--since the events will specifically be just for you two--the girlfriend will not be able to intride adn take him away with some excuse--if she complains and says she wants to be included--say--yes--i don't mind spending some time with you too--but mainly I need to maintain a close relationship with my dad--and I miss him and need to develop a closer relationship with him--She cannot really argue or try to spoil a child's interest in being close to his/her father without looking bad...But do not criticize her or complain about her--that will rebound on you--she will find out about it and try to prevent you from getting close to your dad..Good Luck...