Need Some Help?

Question

I was molested at an early age to start off. Which is think is the reason for my problem. I can't stand to have anyone touch me. The thought of a person touching me in personal places actually makes physically ill. The worst part is that I haven't had a physical since I was 15 or 16 (I'm 24) because I can't stand the thought of anyone touching me, even a doctor. I don't have a problem with personal gratification or anything but I am still a virgin because I can't stand to be with another person. The thought of having sex actually disgusts me. I really really want to get over this because I need to go to the doctors but I can't bring myself to. The worst part is that I can't have a normal relationship because no one will be with someone who can't have sex. Does anyone here have any advice for me? I am too embarressed to talk about this with anyone. I've even told people I've had sex just to get them off my back. Can anyone help me or has any advice?

I've had problems with flashbacks which is why I believe this problem comes from my early tramua

Answer 1

Hi. I totally understand how you're feeling. I too was molested as a child. I was different than you because I numbed myself to those feelings during doctor visits. I intellectually knew that the exams were necessary and there was a female in the room with the Dr. and I. So those times didn't really bother me. My advice to you would be to confide in someone (a therapist perhaps) that you could unload all your fears and memories to. That is really the only way of moving forward. I saw a therapist and it did help. Sometimes I think about going back because the memories seem so close some days. I realized I was transferring my feelings of the abuse to the intimate times with my husband. I too felt dirty when my husband would touch my body in certain ways, especially after I told him a few years ago of my molestation. He has been incredible, loving, caring....all those things that a husband should be. I've been blessed by the Lord, truly. You might want to set an appt. to talk to your Dr./gyne. to let him or her know of your history and fears. They are trained in psychology and can listen to you, not just as a patient, but also a human being, and could even set you up with a great counselor that they hold in high regard. You will make it through this.

Answer 2

I am sorry, It's not so easy to forget, even when your older However I do understand. Know doubt you are unable to speak to someone in the family. Maybe because it could have been a family friend or family. To that end neither parent would believe, and it would probably cause friction within.

Usually mothers are suppose to be understanding, have you tried talking with her.??
If not a female doctor is the best person to converse with.
They are more understanding then most doctors. If you can find a female doctor that you can talk too that would be my best.bet.

I guarantee when you meet the right person, you will be able to pour all your feelings and apathy to him and he will be most understanding.
Time is on your side. But don't delay on seeing a doctor
Female preferably for your sake.

Good luck love

Answer 3

First of all I would like to start by saying that you have every right to feel these feelings what a horrible thing to happen to you. My best friend growing up had the same thing happen to her by her dad. She felt the same why you did and eventually went to counseling for it. As things got better she began having her dad come to the meeting. It really helped her a lot she is married now with 3 kids and has a good relationship with her dad. Everyone handles situations in there lives differently though. Also, when it comes to nobody wanting to be with you because you are not having a sexual relationship then they are not worth it, if they really want to be with you for you they would understand.

Answer 4

i am not going to tell you what you need. the same thing happened to me. i found an understanding partner, who i could talk with this about and was willing to wait till i was ready to have sex. i didnt think it was possible to let another person touch me but after some time i grew to trust my partner and i eventually felt comfortable enough to let him touch me. this relationship also helped because i confided in someone close about my ordeal and he helped me to work through enough issues so i had the courage to see a councillor. he basically saved my life and made me realise that i had no life when i let my past control me. seek help honey. thats my advice

Answer 5

This may or may not be what you want to hear, but you need therapy. The only way to get over this is to confront the problem and work through it. It's a painful process, but it's worth it to be able to move on.

Answer 6

yes you need to work through what happen long ago, with a therapist, they can help you to over come that by working through your problems, now it is not going to be easy, but it is worth it, You really need to go to a rape center too , cause they will give you the funds for the treatment you need, they will pay for it and your meds up to 10 years or so, i have know people that has go to the rape center, and got help, but they were also seeing a therapist too, to work through it.

Answer 7

hullo
being frigid is a disease state that calls for help,you need first to see a psychologist for this problem,you need a sort of cognitive behavioral therapy with desensetisation technique.
if you do have emotional feelings for men (a special man),in other words love, then it will be much easier for you.

dr solo

Answer 8

yes, just order porn; that fixes everything...when i dropped out of high school...iordered a box of it and was cured immediately... and if that doesnt work...take a trip to neverland!