Here's my current situation : I am 22 years old, and i am leaving on my first deployment overseas. I am a marine reservist and i volunteered for it, but that's another story. My question is Me and my girlfriend have been together for 9 months, and we have talked about getting engaged before i leave but she wants to be engaged and then married within 6 months, so that's understandable. But we agreed that a promise ring would be perfect for both of us because of obvious reason's and that it would be something for both of us to look forward to. Should i ask her parents for her hand or wait ? its not an engagement, and i plan on spending 300 bucks so nothing extravagant. Thanks for your input.
2007-03-14 18:53:50 · 15 answers · asked by motivated0311 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Since it won't be an engagement, it isn't necessary to ask the parents, but it never hurts. Technically, you don't have to ask for her hand until you are ready to get engaged, but at this point, a promise is something that will be cherished by both and that you will regard as binding until you return home, so while it isn't formally necessary, it wouldn't hurt to involve the parents so they know what your plans are and can help her cope. More importantly, they won't urge her to go out with other guys if they know the two of you are that serious about each other.
You sound like a very level-headed young man. Hope your deployment goes well, and I wish you a speedy and safe return so you can move on to the engagement and wedding.
2007-03-14 19:04:06 · answer #1 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If u r wanting to ask their permission EVENTUALLY, then I would go ahead and ask since a promise ring is a promise to marry. I would however let them know that this is not the actual engagement yet due to your deployment, but that it is a promise of what u plan in the future and so would still like their blessing. And BTW, good luck planning a wedding in 6 months when you're in the military- my husband is a soldier and neither us nor our friends have ever been able to do it in that amount of time, unless of course you're just running to the courthouse- orders change too easily!
2007-03-15 02:06:13 · answer #2 · answered by elk571 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a promise ring is really nothing,. Wait until you get back to make any major decisions as you will have enough stress on you overseas. You will probably see the world differently after your tour, maybe for the better with gf. Take this time for the 2 of you to grow as young adults. If your love is meant to be, she will be there when you come back! And a "Dear John" ltter is the last thing you need when you're in a dangerous situation. GOOD LUCK!
2007-03-15 02:09:49 · answer #3 · answered by Ellyn C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should most definatlly give her a promise ring! Giving her that promise ring would show that you are commited to the relationship from afar. Going overseas away from your home is going to be rough no doubt there buddy. But I hope the best for you and your gf! But the engagement part, its a huge step in life for you, so guard it well and guard your heart at all times! A promise ring is meant for her to actually be there for you when times gets rough, lets her lean on what memories you did give her before you do leave. Never give up hope! Never give up on love! Good luck over seas! Try to come home safe!
2007-03-15 02:14:07 · answer #4 · answered by rtartt2002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With or without ring, a promise is good until broken. Your being away from each other for months will put both of you to a test. Sharing it with her parents may be an added strength to that promise, although you can spare them until the formal engagement comes.
2007-03-15 03:14:50 · answer #5 · answered by september 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband gave me a promise ring before we were engaged. He was 23 and I was 19, and he asked my parents (dad in particular). He is every bit a southern gentleman, and asking my dad if he could give me a ring was, in his mind, the honorable thing to do. The best way to decide is to think, Would you want some guy to give your daughter a ring without asking you? If you honestly wouldn't care, then I wouldn't worry too much about it. But even though my dad said that my husband could give me anything he wanted, I know he sure appreciated being asked first.
2007-03-15 02:42:32 · answer #6 · answered by jcoandwsf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a promise ring, not an enagament ring. I have a promise ring and my boyfriend did not ask my parents permission, at least to my knowledge. I think that for the time being because it is just a promise ring you are fine, when it comes time to be engaged, you should ask them though.
2007-03-15 05:00:31 · answer #7 · answered by ~*Katie*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be nice gesture to talk to her parents...You can tell them this is a promise ring and not an engagement ring but, you would still like their blessing...You'll score points dude...
Good Luck where ever your being deployed to...I did the last war and so did my husband...He got shot and i guess you could call my incident friendly fire...So watch your backside and duck if you hear gunfire....Save your assets for that girl you want to marry...
2007-03-15 03:02:28 · answer #8 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just go to the parents and tellllll them " hey by the way, Im planning on giving her a promise ring, is that ok?"
2007-03-15 02:02:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, I wouldn't worry about the p's. heck, we never spoke to my parents at all about getting engaged, I think we dated so long (7 yrs) that everyone was like: finally! It's about time!
2007-03-15 02:03:24 · answer #10 · answered by MommyToo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋