my boyfriend is depressed? could it be bipolar?

Question

he has told me before that he gets depressed over thinking about his family (he's adopted), about things in the past that he cant change, and apparently, its bad because
1. his two best friends gave a 3 hour long lecture to me about how he's falling into an 'angry dark hole' and how he wont listen to anyone, and that I might be the only thing to pull him out of it

2. he has told me that he has done coke (in the past month) so much because he feels it compensates for his sadness....he is a regular pot smoker (as am i)

3. he has ADHD and has been suicidal in his teen age (he's 21, im 17). he was also sort of into self mutilation before as a teen as well

The thing is...what can i do that i havent already done? he's told me before that i help him SO much and he said this w/ tears in his eyes. but sometimes he gets real moody and sketched out and wont say i love you (but oh well). Could it be bipolar or is he just...sad? sorry its long, im concerned

ps: my best friend is bipolar so i know what its like to be around one...
i love this man with all my heart and would do anything to make him even a little happier...thats why i am asking this question

pps: i know i cannot save him. im not obsessing. he's just really down. i just want to say something that will make him feel better.

Answer 1

you are right, you can not save him, he has to want to do that himself, and for himself, otherwise it just does not work. He is 21, and he should be taking care of himself, and seeking out the help that he needs, yes he could be bi polar, but there are other things that he may have instead. What he needs to do is to go to a therapist and work on his issures, cause i can tell that he has a quit a few of them, that he needs t work on. He needs to get in and get an intake done, and get a therapist and work through what is going on with him, and you need to try to give him all the love and understanding, caring that you can at this time. But if he becomes violent with you, you need to get out of there.

Answer 2

Dear Friend,

I have first hand experience of having a relationship with bipolar person. Behavior of your loved one is familiar to me however we are not professionals who can help in reality. You can only offer support, care and be a good listener but do this without being sucked in as your life will soon become a misery!! Instead do the best thing you can for this man....seek professional help immediately. Ask friends and family to help you. If your boyfriend has chemical imbalance in his brain there is no love or care that would help him nor would he be able to fully appreciate it. Trust me once he starts therapy you will discover a much more balanced person not to mention you may be the one who saves his life. The second thing you must do if you want to help is STOP THE POT SMOKING you start first!! Any kind of mood alterations will only aggravate this man's situation. I don't know if you will be able to have a long relationship with him or what future but become a friend first of all then a lover as that's what he needs. Seek help you can't "save" him by your self. Trust me you will not regret this advise. Good luck!

Answer 3

Well, it sure as heck isn't bipolar as I have bipolar and don't do drugs.

But I can tell you that the mood swings are due to use of cocaine (look it up on wikipedia or another internet side for side effects) and it isn't going to "compensate " for his sadness but make it worse. The anger is a mood swing of the coke, he probably gets paranoid/ a feeling of persecution as well. Finally, the pot is making him depressed.

For God's sake, if you want to help, get him into rehab. YOU can't pull him "out of it" you aren't a qualified professional.

He will need counseling also to get to the root of his personal issues.

Answer 4

Because you didn't exactly explain any mania symptoms or talk about excessive energy with him, it doesn't sound like bipolar to me. Depression, yes. ADHD is also a disorder that often gets misdiagnosed as bipolar - perhaps the other way around as well?

Why does it matter what you label him as? You know he's depressed, ADHD, and a drug abuser for sure - why do you have to call him bipolar (which it doesn't sound like) too?

Answer 5

I would say that he probaly needs some real serious help. Do not ingore this matter. If he has attemtped to kill himself in the past he may try this again. I would reach out for as much help as you can for him. Maybe as being adoped is something that he is dealig with and is wanting to no who is real parents are. The drugs is not the way to go that is for sure. If you can reach out to his family and see what you can do. He may tell you not to. even if he gets mad at you for doing it that is ok cause your going to do the right thing. He could be biploar as well but this is something you have to reach out to find out. But I wish I could be of more help. He can email me if he needs just another person to talk to that does not no him and share his personal infomation if he wishes. I am not judgemental at all, just here to help if I can. I am in the medical field my self. Thanks and good luck. [e-mail]

Answer 6

From my personal experience it sounds more like depression than bipolar. Especially if the coke didn't send him into a mania. Either way, he needs to get treatment, counseling if not medication. Do everything you can to convince him if he's resistant. It's not something you or he can do on your own.

Answer 7

Although you love him very much, you cannot solve his problems. Be supportive, and encourage him to get off drugs and see a physician. Don't get pulled into thinking that you have to rescue or fix him. That isn't a healthy state of mind for you.

Answer 8

He sounds depressed he might need an older woman. Quit playa hatin. Jealous!!

Answer 9

I dont think hes bipolar just depressed. You arent going to help him, only he can do that. He needs medical help.