Eighteen Year Old Who Lives At Home and Has A Boyfriend who does not work and uses her?

Question

My 18 yr old daughter still lives at home and has a boyfriend who does not go to school, does not work and uses her only.

Answer 1

Unfortunately, your daughter is probobly nt going to listen to anyone when it comes to this subjec, and is going to have to figure things out for herslf, learn the hard way. I think many young poeple are faced with these situations, but, love is blind, as hindsight is 20/20. I think your role as her mother would best be the one that is supportive of her even in these silly decisions she is making, and most comforting when she realizes for herself that she is being used. GOod Luck....you love her more than anything, im sure you dont want to see her being taken advantage of, but, there really isnt anything you can do but let her see things for herself when the time comes. Going any further might make her resent you, and not see the true light of things.....she might blame it on you.... i wish you luck

Answer 2

well i know how your daughter feels i was 17 with a 21 year old man that i had known for awhile and he didnt work didnt have a job and lived at home with his momma we had a child when i was 18 and he cheated on me many times and now i am a 21 year old single mother of a 2 year old son and he just last night got a car and monday starts working, but still lives with his momma and lets his 19 year old gf support him and im sure she is the one paying for my son. Yet i still defend the SOB its just a girl thing i love him and i dont wanna hear i told you so from my parents so every time they put him down about something i get mad and grip at them and say its because my son is in the room and for the most part that is it but really its cause i know i messed up and i should have listened to my parents but you know what there are just somethings you have to learn the hard way even if it takes you a while it will click eventually and she will be like WTF am i thinking? Just make sure you are there for her and never try and put it in her face how wrong she was or that you told her so cause that will just be adding insult to injury. just me a loving mother when it all hits the fan she will thank you for it later

Answer 3

This is a hard one. I have been there done that and Ilearned the hard way. I was 18 and I thought that I was in love regaurdless of the warnings that I got from my friends his friends and most of all my family. He did not work. All he did was drink and sleep all day. I worked and paid the bils. We moved in together and he still did not work. Everyone kept telling me that he was no good and that I could do better but I did not care,

It sounds like to me that your daughter is exactly how I was. My mom was my best friend and I listened to her and seeked her advice for everything till I got with this guy. Then all I wanted to do was ignore her and tell her to shut up. He eneded up leaving me when things got rough and the bills got to be toomuch. I was pregnant and could not party with him no more. I soon realized what everyone was telling me. But ya know what the best part of all that was....my mom was still there for me. She did not tell me "I told you so." she was there for me to cry on. She gave me support even though she never supported it. I will always love her for that. You are going to have to let her learn the hard way. He will break her heart one day and the last thing that she is going to need is an i told you so. So just hold your breath and be there for her. She will learn in due time. Good luck and I hope that this helped you!

Answer 4

If that TRUELY IS the case....what would judge judy say?
Dump him! But then....you are not your daughter, and sometimes our off spring have to learn lessons. Just be ready to be there to pick up the pieces if it goes that far.
take the pressure off her, introduce new successful friends, who are sincere and positive and stay in the background, dont take star role, and visualize only good pictures about your daughter, and perhaps start being a good friend to her boyfriend if you can, perhaps he has never had anyone who cared enough about his welfare, to encourage him in the right directions...find a good support in older wiser friend or mentor for him to give that caring lead.

Answer 5

I think you should try to talk to your daughter and see what does she like about him,do she really have feelings for him or do she just say she do.If she say she has feelings for him ask her what can he do for her,and has he inspired her in any way,or helped her out in her times of needs.Of course she will try to find an answer for every question,but tell her not to play and to be serious about this cause he can ruin her life if she not tring to be in a serious relationship.Just question her about what do he do for her and if she give a good reason then she knows how to be in a serious relationship,but if not then she need to be single for a while a really figure out what she need in her life.

Answer 6

If she thinks that she loves him you have to be really carefull here or you will loose your daughter. Gently encourage her to work toward HER dreams & goals. Be supportive but non-commital when she talks to you about him. Hopefully she will realize that there are many great hard-working guys out there in time....don't push her to choose between you and him, you may loose! She is still really young and has lots of time to explore the world, encourage that too! Good luck.

Answer 7

I'm sorry, that sucks. If you try to talk to her she will only bite your head off. It's something that she'll have to learn on her own, just be ready to provide a shoulder to cry on. I was in a similar situation when I was 18 and nobody could tell me anything. But it did eventually bite me in the butt, and I learned the hard way.

Answer 8

who is the parent? if the child has graduated high school and is not attending college, she can work. she can pay rent, groceries, do chores, and understand that there are rules in your home. she is a legal adult in all states.
you cannot chose a boyfriend for her. you can accept her choice or ask her to move out. she needs to learn by her own mistakes.

Answer 9

define uses her if she lets him you have to let her learn on her own she is 18 an adult kick them both out and let life and relaity run its course she will learn or she will be used at her own will you have to make her be responable at some point she is her own person and makes her on choices you can not change it know matter what you say or do mabie he will grow up and be a man when you let them know that you are not a shelter. like mother like daughter not to be rude but look at your relationships and reflect first before you try and choose what is right and wrong for her remember she is her own person and an adult too.

Answer 10

If she is smart she will figure that out on her own. Nothing you say will probably help much. Just hope that you raised her right and she remembers what you taught her. It is very hard to step back and let things like that go, he will hang himself eventually.