Why do people think homeschoolers have no social lives?

Question

I am 15, PROUDLY HOMESCHOOLED, yet this is the biggest and 1st question I always get. I am in Speech/Debate, martial arts, tennis, golf, Boy Scouts and homeschool co-ops. I have a huge circle of friends, yet people stereotype us that way. Why?

Answer 1

THANK YOU FOR THE CHANCE FOR ME TO TALK TO ALL THE ANTI-HOMESCHOOLERS HERE!

I'm 13, and I've been homeschooled all my life minus five months. Those five months I went to school, I managed to skip a grade, and get almost all A's.

People ask how homeschoolers get any socialization, but think....how does sitting in the same building, day after day, with the same people get you any real socialization? And folks say that homeschoolers don't get out in the 'real world'. Well, how does the enviornment I just described get kids out int the 'real world'? If I hadn't been homeschooled, I would have missed out on so many experiences in life. I've gotten to travel in Europe for 3 months, because I didn't have to worry about missing school! Because of the schedules my dad works, I would never get to see him if I was in school!

"How do you get involved in other activities?" is a common question...I am in, or have been in soccer, basketball, skiing, speech, art, theater, dance, German camp, I've taken riding lessons, SO many things! I'm involved in my community. I deliver meals to the elderly, play violin and viola (see? music!) at the nursing home, sing at Christmas time, volunteer at a local church-run store, and you ask what I do???
Homeschoolers, contrary to many beliefs, have friends! A lot of my friends have been homeschooled at one time or another, but for family reasons have gone to school. We get together and go skiing, go to a class, or just hang out! Usually I have a hard time naming all my friends, and I make lots of new ones!

Most of the homeschoolers I know are lots smarter than public school kids. I, personally, have to constantly explain things to my public school 8th or 9th grade friends, because they don't understand what I mean...in a good way! I read all the time, and I'm with adults more than kids. Recently I've had to define "subdued", "optimistic", "pessimistic", "award of merit", and "pardon my pun" to my older friends! They've admitted that I have a MUCH better vocabulary than them. Most of the homeschooled kids I know have better manners, and are more mature and smarter than the average public school kid.

We do not just spend all day at home with our parent or whoever is schooling us. Today I got all my music practice and schoolwork done by 10am, so I'm going skiing--which is exercise, fresh air, and fun!

I do want to make one more thing clear: I am not, in any way, against public school. I just happen to never want to go to it.

I thank you so very much for posting this question. Usually I see people with questions asking about homeschooling, but I have so many things to say about it, I just can't quite put them into words! Today I took the time to answer.

Good luck, and happy homeschooling! Email me if you need to rant about some anti-homeschooling people who are getting on your nerves!

Answer 2

First of all, people have this mistaken notion that homeschoolers stay home all the time.

Then, if they find out that you do do things, they turn to the mistaken notion that people have a psychological/social need to be around 30 other people for half a year for 13 years (roughly 180-200 days of school in most places). Why they think this is beyond me. Some sort of rationalization to defend a position they want to hold to for some reason.

Of course, then there are the people who meet 'odd' homeschoolers and think all homeschoolers are that way and it must be because they aren't around other people enough. And then there are those who meet homeschoolers who really aren't odd, but they are different from the public school norm (have different interests, less focus on being like everybody else) and these people think homeschoolers are weird because they aren't like them, a result of not being around people 'enough'.

What it boils down to is a lack of deep thought on the person's part. Just a reflection of them and not of homeschooling.

ADDED: I have to laugh at some of the answers. What a hoot! My kids and other homeschoolers aren't seen out in the community? You've got to be kidding me. They ARE, but people don't usually go around checking to see if you are public schooled, private schooled, charter schooled or homeschooled. My daughter's done summer camps and lots of different lessons and it hasn't once come up. These are not homeschooling activities. My son has reached a point where he's ready to start participating in all this, too. Unless someone specifically asks them which school they go to, nobody's ever going to know that they're homeschooled.

Answer 3

I was homeschooled from 2nd grade all throughout high school and I got the same thing.

A lot of homeschoolers that my family spent time with didn't have any social life outside of a 2 hour small homeschool group once a week. Like these people, many families who homeschool do it to keep their kids out of the "corrupted outside world" as much as possible and so the kids don't see what the "norm" is for other people. That's also why many people think homeschooled kids dress weird.
The parents practice was I call "fear based parenting". They want so badly for their children not to be exposed to sex, drugs, and whatever other worldly things they believe are evil, they deprive their children of any social activity whatsoever. To them, the only safe place is at home with your family.

I was actively involved with camp, youth group, and was a member of a semi-professional dance company (something I would not have been able to do were I not homeschooled). I had many friends and was able to settle quite well once I got to college.
Keep it up and you'll turn out just fine. Just like with me, people will very surprised when you tell them you were homeschooled!

Answer 4

You hit it in the nail. It's stereotype. Going to a physical school is the norm, therefore most people think that homeschoolers are different because they basically study at home where the only people present are relatives. It's basically ignorance from the part of most people about homeschooling that results to this said stereotype.

I actually think homeschooling is great, specially for those kids/adults who are independent &/or fast learners in which they can study at the time & pace that they want, thereby giving them ample room & time for social( with parents, relatives, friends) & sports activities.

I think you are independent & a extrovert & active person. Keep it up & don't mind what most people say. It's always good to be unique, special, & independent.

Answer 5

I homeschool my boys and they are very sociable with GOOD social skills, like saying YES MAM and NO SIR and THANK YOU. And holding doors open for people, simple things in life perhaps, but I feel it brings character. As far as "attending school events", my boys and I do go to football games and other "sporting" events with school children. They are NOT sheltered, the only thing different is they do their schooling at home. They don't come home with foul language, bad attitudes, which they were doing when I did have them in public school. WHAT book does it say that a child by age of 12 must have a job????? So that defines what a well brought up child is??? Is cussing their parents and teachers and going to work before puberty??? Homeschooling is against the "norm", that's why it's looked at differently. I'm proud I homeschool. We even have a room devoted to school, with desks, posters, chalkboards, computer,,,we aren't backwoods, we just learn at home.

Answer 6

I don't think people continue to "think" homeschoolers have no social lives, I believe they just continue to "say" homeschoolers have no social lives because that keeps them in their comfort zone.
A lot of people have a hard time with people wanting to and succeeding at doing things their way.

You also have a lot of negativity spoken against homeschoolers at the national level in the teacher's associations, so, as we know, people will begin to believe a lie if you keep repeating it over and over and over and over and over....

Also, there is tons of bad press in the media about homeschooling. If something bad happens in a family, and that family homeschooled, well, that will be zeroed in on. That does not happen if the family sent their children to publicschools. You never hear a story about abuse or something equally horrible, that starts off "Public school family Jones was found yesterday..." never happens.

Someone left an answer a couple of days ago that said to the effect, "every maladjusted, socially enept person I've ever met went to school."
Wow! haha, that was rich!

As to the charge that homeschoolers are not seen in public, well that is because homeschoolers do not stand out like sore thumbs, like antihomeschoolers would like you to think they do.

For the most part, homeschool kids are just like everyone else. They are out there, rubbing elbows and participating in the same things as the publicschool and privateschool kids.
that's the whole point. We are just like everyone else.
We want what is best for our families. We enjoy the same things as everyone else.

It is not from a lack of knowledge that these "thoughts" continue to prevail.

It is from willfull ignorance.

That means being dumb on purpose.

Answer 7

People don't understand homeschooling and are extremely judgemental. After all, if you don't know about something, most people immediately become offensive. I homeschool my children, and like you, they are involved in a wide array of extra activities. There is no evidence whatsoever, that they don't have a social life. They have more interaction that I did when I was their age, and I went to public school. Kudos to you, you know how socially developed you are and that is all that matters.

Answer 8

I am not sure why. Homeschoolers can be involved in many social actives. I think they have more of a social life, than most kids that go to PS. It seems like they have more free time to be involved in outside actives. They can interact with kids of all ages. They also get to learn how to talk to adults, that's why some homeschooled kids seems so "grown-up".

Answer 9

I think people are ignorant. I have homeschooled my kids for 11 years and they knew plenty of people. My 16 year old daughter passed away in December and over 400 people attended her funeral. To me that says she touched a lot of peoples lives. They don't have to put up with a lot of wasted time during the day because of people who disrupt the class and don't want to be in school. For the most part they have a good social life and a lot of friends.

Answer 10

The socialization issue is the last dumb excuse that can be touted against homeschooling.

I began homeschooling my kids 25 years ago, long before it reached the popularity and acceptance it has now. Back then, it was still illegal in many states. Parents went to jail for "educational neglect" of their children many times. Finally, after about 15 years, it became obvious that children who were homeschooling, and took standardized achievement tests, scored far higher, on average, than public-schooled students year after year. The myth that parents weren't "qualified" to teach their children finally got debunked. And, of course, when parents who were committed to overseeing their children's education came across material that was too difficult for them (higher math, chemistry, etc.) they got help: friends, relatives, tutors. They rejoiced when their children's knowledge exceeded theirs.

Another popular theme was that parents were keeping their children home to abuse them. And, of course, whenever some tragedy involving homeschooled children happens, it is huge media news. But several years of violence in the schools has finally convinced people that children are not going to be guaranteed any kind of safety even in the nicest schools. Huge schools with thousands of kids, metal detectors and armed policemen guarding halls makes us all a little doubtful about schools being safe havens.

What is left, that would keep parents from choosing to school their children at home, if they wanted to? The fear that they would make social misfits of their children. The fear that their children would not be able to handle the "real" world. Whatever that is perceived to be.

But the bottom line is, that it is all about money, control, and power. Even 30 years ago, the NEA was a very powerful lobby group. They who control the children, control the world. There are wonderful teachers out there. I was one, in the public system. But the wonderful ones are not the ones who are running the system, virtually dictating what children will think, filling their heads with sexual knowledge long before they need it, and political propaganda.

I hope you have read every entry. Those who are saying that homeschooled children get only one point of view, are SO wrong. Homeschooled children READ. Not just Harry Potter and the latest fad books, but classics and the works of great thinkers through the ages. It is the schooled children who get the same point of view, year after year, and heaven help the teacher who might want to introduce a different theory than the one that is politically correct at the time. Children (who eventually turn into adults) who can think for themselves cannot be easily manipulated or controlled. Homeschooled children are a threat to the present political agenda of our great country.

Answer 11

First of all, good luck to you! I have two girls and the oldest especially get the same questions sometimes. They are very well socialized with tons of friends in her various activities, some with the schools that are in the areas. Whats funny is that her ps friends all say "I wish I was home schooled!"

I really wonder if some people above have ever done any research on this subject. Wouldn't it be nice to know how to look up and teach yourself information before you make assumptions? OH, I forgot, they probably went to public school so they wouldn't get that. They just believe what is told to them. Anyone with a slightly different approach has got to be wrong to them. How sad.

According to some of the answers I see above, the only way to be "normal" is to be thrown in with a bunch of bullies and drug pushers so we make sure to see all aspects of life? Number one, all schools aren't horrible. I didn't send my kids to school to be socialized in the first place. I think people with experience of whats out there should be teaching kids by example and by making sure they do know what is out there. I sent my kids for an education, and they were not getting one.