My parents are emotionally unavailable (to me). They don't express love for me, and I'm already an independent person, so I keep getting the urge to cut and run. I'm almost 18, so I'll be moving out in the next couple years. I just want to know, have you recovered from a rocky parent-child relationship? Is it possible??
2007-03-14 17:54:27 · 6 answers · asked by rachel in vancouver 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That's a shame people that are denied love in childhood are often unable to express it with family and friends as adults. It would seem far more important to get some help with this issue than to "cut and run." No matter how far you run when you arrive at the end of your running you will be there and the issues that you brought with you will still be there. Deal with them and then you will be able to move on without having to run any where.
2007-03-14 17:59:32 · answer #1 · answered by QueenBean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well. I dunno how much my story helps... But maybe it will. When I was little my dad bailed and my mom was in and out of jail so I bounced from her to my aunt to my grandma up until I was 10. At 10, all the kids got taken away and my aunt and uncle adopted me.
By this point I was super introverted and felt way out of place coming into an already established family like that. They were pretty emotionally unavailable to me. At about 14, my mom got out of jail and started trying to be a 'mom' to me which made me mad. I kinda rebelled. Experimented with drugs and alcohol a bit.
I guess I'm stronger than some but around 16 after a couple years of screwing around and messing up, I straightened out, got good grades in school, ect.
Started going out to concerts a lot and got heavily into the local club scene, messed up a little bit more, and now I'm living on my own, and live solely off running a club.
I got ups and downs. Im doing pretty good, very dependant and well known and accepted in town. I have friends all over the world and have experienced things most people never will. On the other hand, I experimented heavily with drugs so who knows what effects thats had on me. Im not in school and probably wont be, and I know this business wont hold up for me forever. So in the long run it could really hurt me.
My advice, just put the past behind you and do your own thing. Dont let your parents bother you or effect your choices.
2007-03-15 01:05:53 · answer #2 · answered by Miss Amazing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what your parents are like. They could just be expressing love in a different way like they ignore you to make you independent so you don't have to rely on them. I'd say its possible to recover although it may take some time depending on how bad your relationship got to. Say the right things to them like how sorry you really are and how you feel. If they don't forgive you then give up, cause theres no sense in a lost cause.
2007-03-15 00:59:18 · answer #3 · answered by x_h117 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What exactly do you mean by "emotionally unavailable"? What is it that you would like to receive that they are not giving you at 18? It sounds like you wish they'd talk to you more about your concerns about life and relationship. Or, perhaps, it's wisdom you'd like them to give you. It does not sound like they are restricting your freedom, or that are not providing you with material comforts. Yet, it seems something about them is upsetting you or making you hostile. Not enough information to really give you good advice. In general, it helps to take the time and invite each one of them to spend an hour out of the house, at a coffee shop, and open up to mom or dad and say what's bothering you about each one of them.
2007-03-15 01:10:22 · answer #4 · answered by DrEvol 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had the same problem you need to go to them and tell them how you really feel
2007-03-15 00:58:21 · answer #5 · answered by katie c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you'll understand when your 30...............
2007-03-15 00:59:59 · answer #6 · answered by James k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋