ok so i will call them brian and andrew....i have known andrew going on 9 yrs...i love him with everything i have but were two different people...our lives collide with eachother..we have had our ups and downs as any couple but we always seem to find our way back to eachother..the only thing we really have in common is our love for eachother.....so can love conqueor all or is it only half the battle............and then there is brian....i have know him going on 3 yrs....he makes me laugh like no one has before and we are like two peas in a pod....we do everything together and he understands me to the fullest...he is everything any girl could ever want...but then there is something that wont let me give uip on andrew because i never want to wonder "what if"....what if i would have stayed with him...with brian i know what is ahead for me....with andrew im not sure but what i do know is that i love him..so do i follow my heart and go with andrew or do i follow my mind and go with brian
2007-03-14 17:14:27 · 17 answers · asked by cherrimimi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow...great question...I would love to talk with you because this is such a good question and really there is more information needed, But we will deal with what we have. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that it sounds to me based on what you have told us that the love you have for Andrew is love, but not romantic love, at least as it should be. And oddly enough the specifics you do mention about Brian are the very ones that many women talk about when they are in romantic love with a guy. There have been some studies that have shown that the number one thing that attract women to a man is his sense of humor. Another one real high on the list is the couple's ability to bond which is once again what you describe in Brian. Heres what I think....you are comfortable with Andrew but the feeling of love may be more of a brotherly love and you feel comfortable because you have history with him. But that doesn't make a long term commitment work. However what you describe about Brian sounds more like the whole heart going pitter patter thing and I know that sounds kinda goohey but ya know what ...thats part of love too...ya gotta feel it in your heart. Now oddly enough at the end of your question you say do u follow your heart and go with andrew or go with you head and go with brian. You may want to re-examine that whole how you feel about them both and ask yourself the following question. Who could you see having children with? I hope it works out for you...Good Luck!
2007-03-14 17:33:29 · answer #1 · answered by chcman74 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am currently with a similar guy to andrew, we have our ups and downs and all, but we always find a way to make amends. But the good thing about this relationship is that as long as you don't burn any bridges when you leave the relationship it will probably be there if you ever need it again. Brian is the better choice, love can feel very, very real, but in the end it's the guy who you never want to be without, the guy who if you were trapped in blizzard, not only would cuddle up close and keep you warm, but he would be there beside you making you feel less scared by talking to you and making you laugh. Laughter is a great healer of broken hearts I say tell andrew that you think that you would like to do a bit of exploring to see if he really is the only man for you. But make sure that brian feels the same way before you bungy with out a cord ;)
Good Luck
2007-03-15 00:36:37 · answer #2 · answered by kate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you lost Andrew could you live like that forever? If you lost Brian could you live without him? Seriously I think you should make a list of their positives and negatives and then throw them in the trash and go with the one you KNOW you couldn't live without. you have known Andrew for 9 years their must be a reason for it. But if you can't think of him as a husband then maybe you should just be GREAT friends.
2007-03-15 00:20:52 · answer #3 · answered by icecream4aman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say go with what you think is right. You have known andrew for a long time, so you know what his moods are like. Both guys sound right, but i might want to let brian know that there is some competition.
2007-03-15 00:20:12 · answer #4 · answered by crusader1311 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The what if part is of no concern, because it will arise from either outcome. You should not use such criteria to make your dicession. Now I would think about what I valued more and what I choose to value and why. Then I would find out which of the two had the most of what I valued. It is also important to note that my values might change and that one cannot know what that will be but must predict what will be the most likely changes you will go through and which one is most likely to meet those values closest. It is a very hard dicession but it is only you who can make the dicession. Good luck, but I would choose instead of loose both of them.
2007-03-15 00:23:36 · answer #5 · answered by Michael M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say go with brian. its not even playing safe, its just that what made me think that he is better is that you said you were like two peas in a pod, that you do everything together and that he understands you, i just dont know about the line he is everything any girl could ever want....anyway i dont think you need to choose right now,and let things go their way naturally, just enjoy the moment and dont think too hard , dont make things complicated.
2007-03-15 00:19:26 · answer #6 · answered by haringmarumo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take Andrew on monday, wednesday and friday.
Take Brian on tuesday. thursday and saturday. Take sunday off. Is that a great idea?
2007-03-15 00:21:45 · answer #7 · answered by ewf20612 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love Brian, then go with him. Otherwise, stay with andrew.
2007-03-15 00:22:18 · answer #8 · answered by Dave F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brian! Move on sister! He sounds like the better choice, anyways!
2007-03-15 00:19:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over andrew and go with brian
2007-03-15 00:21:35 · answer #10 · answered by whatsgood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋