I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 5 years now. (Since 19th grade). To my knowledge he has never cheated on me. I feel like I am holding to tite of a reign on him. He just turned 19 and was recently hired by the fire department. A bunch of the firemen want to go to Myrtle Beach for a few days this summer. At first I was like " heck no, you know yall ain't gonna just sit on the beach and talk, they'll wana go clubbin...He seemed sad so the next day I told him he can go and that I trust him (not that he HAS to have my permission). And although I'm being supportive, in the back of my head I'm picturing them at strip clubs and grindin on girls at night clubs and it upsets me. I know he is the one and we will be together 4ever, so I feel like I need to let go and let him live the way he wants to without cheating. I think he needs to sow his wold oats BEFORE we get married.Am i setting myself up 4 being cheated on?How do I let go?HELP!
2007-03-14 16:36:10 · 9 answers · asked by Jenny H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Trusting a boyfriend isn't something you can learn, especially when you are going to be away from him. It's something you have to do if you want to keep him. I met this guy when I was 13 and dated him on and off. We lived 3 1/2 hours apart and it killed me not knowing what he was doing or who he was with. Every moment I seen him and every night when he called to tell me he loved me or that he missed me, meant so much to me and will be cherrished in the future. I let things go and allowed myself to trust him. I kept thinking that God is testing us and wondered if we could make it. Today, I am happily married to this man and planning to have children with him. I am 22 years old and have been with him for 9 years. If you want to be able to look back on your past with him like I do, then you have to give him freedom. Relationships of all kinds are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, the sand remains where it is. But the minute you close your hand to hold on tightly, the sand trickles through you fingertips. A relationship is like that. Held loosley, with respect and FREEDOM for the other person, a relationship will last. But hold on too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost! Now you know what to do.
2007-03-14 16:47:20 · answer #1 · answered by ~M*a*N*d*Y~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you display a little trust he will do the right thing by you . I dont think all men cheat, I just think they do when they are not happy at home and there is the excuse right there. Let him know you trust him and let him have fun with the guys. Lets put it this way, If the girls asked you out for a weekend of fun, would he trust you enough to go? If your relationship is strong enough let him go...If you have concerns then you need to talk to him about it before you say ..Ok go .
2007-03-14 16:43:33 · answer #2 · answered by mlock123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well trust is something very big and to be able to build a relationship and make it work is with TRUST..
how has your trusting eachother been in the past? has he cheated? why dont you trust him?
are you insecure? i kind of have that issue... but you gotta know in your heart! that is the only way! look deep into your heart and ask yourself, can i trust him? you should know yes or no.
i dont see why you cant go with him to this beach get away...
im 20 and no matter what the ocassion is my boyfriend and me dont go anywhere without one another. especially away on a trip with his friends.... thats a no no no. would he let you go away with your friends?if he loved you and more importantly RESPECTED you then he would know that you are uncomfortable with him going and if he can honestly make you feel okay with him going and convince you that he will be "good" and not hurt you then i guess it would be okay... only you know if you can trust him.... but if he wanted the relationship between you two to really work and last, then he would take into consideration of your feelings... its not that you have him in a tight rope, you are trying to build a relationship and then a marriage and that means working together and doign things together... i hope helped...
good luck.... i also like the comment before mine (the end) to some point
2007-03-14 16:47:31 · answer #3 · answered by Jdez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. if you don't let him go, he is going to start feeling like you are trying to control him and that's not good. it will probably hurt your relationship. and if he hasn't done anything in the past to make you think he cheated then just calm down and let him have some fun cause if you really love each other he won't cheat.
2007-03-14 16:42:13 · answer #4 · answered by mrs garfield 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you both love each other,then you got to have that trust in each other.look at this way,he doesnt know what your doing either.if the trust isnt there,then you might as well hang it up,because both of you will be wondering what the other 1 is doing all the time.
2007-03-14 17:00:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have an open relationship. So then your not cheating. Also you'll be able to show him all the new tricks you learned while he was away and vise verse.
2007-03-14 16:47:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you feel he might be pressured into doing things like cheating by his firemen buddies
if he knows what you're worried about he may decide not to go or be uberly well behaved while away
2007-03-14 16:41:29 · answer #7 · answered by lizzyhappy2007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is going to be unfaithful better to find out now before you marry. You must allow him to have his space or he will suffocate and rebel.
2007-03-14 16:41:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just trust him.. and no doubts please.. it will worsten what you feel..
2007-03-14 16:42:52 · answer #9 · answered by heartbeats_tin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋