A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.-- Fred Allen
Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines. ~Attributed to both Jason Hutchison and John Benfield
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. ~Charles Schulz
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. ~Carl Zwanzig
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure. ~Murphy's Law
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ~Author Unknown
(epitaph (look it up) of Winston Churchill the quote person)
I am ready to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
R.I.P
(More quotes)
The more I see of men the better I like dogs.
-- Mme. Roland
The secret of staying young is to love honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
-- Lucille Ball
2007-03-14 16:20:01
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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i come across Steven Wright costs humorous. listed right here are a number of them i chanced on on line. “final year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He became making use of a dotted line. He caught the different fish.” “All people who have faith in psychokinesis develop my hand.” “ok, so what's the fee of dark?” “How do you tell once you're out of invisible ink?” “help micro organism - they're the only subculture some people have.” “My condominium became robbed and each little thing became replaced with suitable replicas...I instructed my roommate and he stated 'Do i understand you?'” “the former day I instructed a hen to bypass the line. It stated, "What for?"” “I Xeroxed my watch. Now I actual have time to spare.” “I placed on the spot coffee in a microwave oven and almost went lower back in time.” “I wrote a track, yet i won't have the ability to study music so i do no longer understand what it it. each and every on occasion i would be listening to the radio and that i say, ‘i think of i might have written that’.” “I put in a skylight in my condominium...the people who stay above me are livid!” “My house is on the median strip of a street. you do no longer likely be conscious, different than I might desire to go away the driveway doing 60 MPH.” “i offered a self discovering checklist to earnings Spanish. I grew to become it on and went to sleep; the checklist have been given caught. right here day i might desire to basically stutter in Spanish.” “I spilled spot remover on my canines. he's long gone now.”
2016-10-18 10:10:29
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answer #2
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answered by ? 4
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Too much of self-speaking is a sign of spiritual poverty.
People who live in glass houses should undress in the dark.
Life is a long sentence of miseries occasionally punctuated with happiness.
Some people reach the top of the ladder only to find it is leaning against the wrong wall.
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidance.
2007-03-14 20:34:42
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answer #3
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answered by Manz 5
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“(on seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car.”
“Nobody can be exactly me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.”
"my father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.”
I love Tallulah Bankhead, her quotes always make me smile.
2007-03-15 10:13:04
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answer #4
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answered by ila_tribeca 2
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You may forget the kind words you speak today, but the recipient will remember them forever. Never look down on someone unless you helping them get up.
2007-03-14 16:07:20
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answer #5
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answered by manofnomeanz 2
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The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
Eleanor Roosevelt
2007-03-14 16:05:27
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answer #6
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answered by Bakem 3
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It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
2007-03-16 01:17:44
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answer #7
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answered by Floramae Celine B 1
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Grow old with me, the best is yet to be. Robert Browning
2007-03-16 17:30:21
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answer #8
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answered by ragincajun1957 4
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What is best in life? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women!
2007-03-14 16:00:19
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answer #9
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answered by jimbo1058 2
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Clear your mind of Can't
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
2007-03-14 21:47:29
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answer #10
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answered by Raza 2
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