okay so a lot of people just dont get it. like, okay. adults are like when you have sex you get pregnant and then you die. but not everyone gets pregnant, and not everyone gets an STD and dies. and my boyfriend and i [we've been on and off for about a year] were considering sex. now im going to a party next friday and im pretty sure he'll be there. and i know what he wants to do. except im not excactly sure what i want. because i want to have sex with him but at the same i dont. and its so confusing. because i know hes going to try and i know i might, but im not sure. and i think the only reason why i dont want to is because i think im fat (but he doesnt think i am). is that bad? and should i do it?
2007-03-14 15:53:42 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're ready for sex when you're ready to deal with all of the potential (yes, potential, not certain) repercussions of having sex. That includes pregnancy and STD's, but it also includes things like: what will our relationship be like afterwards? do I really love him? how will this make me feel about myself? about him? about our relationship? do I feel like I can talk to him about what sex means to us?
Deciding to have sex is a BIG decision, don't take it lightly! And above all, be safe -- don't be pressured into anything you're not comfortable with; know that it is OK to change your mind partway through; and ALWAYS use a condom!
2007-03-14 15:59:34 · answer #1 · answered by kittenpie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you have any doubt whatsoever, then you shouldn't do it because you might regret later. Also make sure you're doing it for the right reasons, not because anyone is pressuring you. That probably sounds like a lot of stuff you've heard before, but in my experience, it's pretty good advice. No, not everyone gets pregnant or gets an STD, but you never know when it could happen to you. Let's face it, people aren't always honest about their past when it comes to sex. And you definitely don't want to find out the hard way.
2007-03-14 15:59:42 · answer #2 · answered by AD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're absolutely right - not everyone who has sex gets pregnant or contracts an STD. BUT, are you willing to accept responsbility for a baby should you get pregnant. The pill is only 99% effective and condoms are only 97% effective. Not having sex is the ONLY way to prevent these things.
You're confused - therefore you're not ready to have sex. When you are ready - you'll feel 100% ready and relaxed. Don't do anything until then - you only get one first time and you'll regret it if it's not special. Wait until you love someone and you no w/o any doubts that he loves you and you'll always be together - your wedding night would be ideal.
At the very least - NEVER have sex until you are ready, willing, and able to accept ANY responsibilities that follow your actions.
2007-03-14 16:00:48 · answer #3 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As an adult, I have never told my kids everyone gets pregnant and/or an STD and dies when having sex!?!?!? I have given them facts and personal experiences. It is all up to you as a person. What feels right to you. The fact that you are questioning it, seems like it may not be right. In high school, I dated my boyfriend for almost two years and talked with many other friends and adults before "taking the plunge." I knew it was right for me, at that time. I never regretted it. I WAS young, but put some thought into it and had the right partner. Don't have sex with him just because he is laying it on thick and picking up on your insecurities and trying to make you feel better about yourself!!!! Have sex when you are ready, with the RIGHT person. Someone who loves you for you and whom you love back 100%!!! Believe me, there will be plenty of guys to have sex with, he won't be your only chance!!!!
MOST IMPORTANTLY: USE PROTECTION!!! Though it doesn't happen EVERYtime, STD's and pregnancy are not as uncommon as you think!!!!! I know 5 teenage mothers of varying ages and 6 people who have had different (treatable or untreable) sexually transmitted diseases. Those are only counting the people who have actually told me about it!!!!
2007-03-14 16:15:46 · answer #4 · answered by bubblingbroo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't do it. Find something else to do thats fun and has fewer consequences if something should go wrong. Go bowling, play basketball, go for a hike. If all that's on this guys mind is sex, then he doesn't care about you for the long haul. He just wants to fulfil his desires now and isn't thinking about the future at all.
Guys aren't necessarily "bad" just because they think about sex all the time but the truth is that they do when they are young. You have to be VERY strong for him and don't do it until you have your own apartment and job and are ready to take on responsibilities. Be prepared to take care of any emergency like pregnancy, or disease JUST IN CASE. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
It really is the woman's job to plan ahead as men seldom think longer than their d!cks. Don't let him play the "superior" act with you and make you feel inferior because you won't "do it". You are actually much more superior because you have the ability to think with the right head...men's heads are quite a bit lower than yours. THINK...unfortunately, you have to do the thinking for both of you as his hormones are running wild. (Yours are active too but at least yours are controllable.)
Don't do it. When you are ready, you won't feel any reluctance like you're feeling now and you will have completely thought out all consequences and are prepared for any outcome emotionally, financially and physically. Right now, you just aren't and that's why you are reluctant.
2007-03-14 16:05:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just like love, you know when you are ready. If you are questioning it, then you are not ready. Don't let him pressure you at all. Also, don't do it for the first time at a party. There are a lot of people there and a lot of distractions. It's not very romantic. And also don't do it for the first time in the back of a car. Not a lot of space and makes foreplay very hard. Ultimately, you are going to do what you want to do. Just make sure you use protection. Good luck!
2007-03-14 15:58:15 · answer #6 · answered by brooklyn152 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After reading your post...I do not think you are ready. The first clue was that you said that you and your boyfriend have been "on and off" for about a year. Second clue was that you are not sure if you want to do it. Third...I don't believe that you don't want to because you think you're fat. I believe that is just what you are telling yourself because you are NOT ready to have sex. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS, you should do it when you are more confident about yourself and your decisions.
I think your first time will be much better with someone you truly love and have a stronger relationship with.
Take care.
2007-03-14 16:05:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok the first time you have sex is very disappointing for a number of reasons --- if you are planning on having sex then plan on somewhere safe comfortable and that allows you plenty of time to do it more than once ---- and im very very old as far as you would be concerned and ive never thought sex was get pregnant and die or get a disease --- they are problems that can be overcome easily --- sex to me is an enjoyable act between two people that care for each other --- its a way to experience a level of closness and intimacy that is difficult to describe --- so its up to you if you are confused then you truly are not ready ---- best wishes
2007-03-14 16:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, it's okay to be cubby :P i'm cubby and i have a great sex life ;) besides.. it's not like you're going to be doing it on the beach during sunset with a supermodel man.. he's probably an average guy, and you're an average girl - as long as YOU are comfortable with your body, that's all that matters!
as far as if you're ready or not, just be smart about it. sex happens. you don't intend for it to - you just find yourself not saying no, and you'll wonder why you aren't saying no.. and it's not a bad thing if you do.
everything in life depends on risks. if you're ready to be risky then go for it! but it's all up to you, don't let him pressure you.. if you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it! and ESPECIALLY don't do it if he doesn't have a condom, even if you want to.
never regret anything - at one time, it was exactly what you wanted.
;)
2007-03-14 16:05:39 · answer #9 · answered by ashwee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from someone who can help:
hi i am thinking about sex just like you and i think (personally) if you REALLY love him then you can consider not just go ahead and do it because you love him. you should think of what might happen to you. you should look into getting some protection if you are considering. you should talk to him before you try anything. i think that you shouldnt have sex at a party because things may get out of hand. sex should be something romantic not for fun. something to share with the person you truly love. think about that. i know you will be alright.
2007-03-14 16:08:08 · answer #10 · answered by Julianne G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋