My boyfriend's mom just found out that he and I are going to enlist after High school and she's angry?

Question

He's still 17 and will turn 18 in July and I just turned 18 in March. She's one of these anti Iraqi war fanatics and she's really upset with me. I don't understand her. I've been with him for many years now and she never got that upset at me when we ALMOST went all the way more times than I can remember, yet now she's saying awful things about me. Recently we both received a packet of forms to fill out and other materials in the mail that's how she found out. I was keeping it a secret from my mom too because I was afraid to tell her but my dad knows. He's the one to advise me to keep it quiet for now and just let it happen and eventually she would come around. My boyfriend and I would receive all sorts of benefits including college tuition, and a bonus for enlisting, etc. We could even get married. His mom's reaction really startled me. What's wrong with serving your country?

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with serving your country, IF THAT is what you want to do. But it sounds a little like you are looking for a college scholarship and a way to be married and independent of your parents. That is NOT a good reason to join the military.

What service are you planning to enlist in? You know you could end up being seperated because of the enlistments. You are not guaranteed to get the same job or be assigned to the same place. And even if you do get what we call a "Joint Spouse Assignment" where you are at the same post or base, one of you might deploy and the other might stay behind. Or you could even deploy to different locations.

With my first wife, I deployed to the 1st Gulf Wwar for 7 months and she stayed behind. When I came back, I was home for 3 weeks and they deployed her for 6 months.

Don't get me wrong, I love the military. In Jun I will have been in the Air Force for 20 years. But you have to come in for the right reasons and know what you are giving up to serve your country. My home was Glendale, CA, but since I've been in I've only been back there 5 or 6 times in 20 years. (I've been away to other places longer than I ever lived there. So my home is really where ever the Air Force has me stationed)

If you are still interested, visit a base or post and talk to the people there. Find out what job you think you like...then talk to the young people doing that job and see if they like it. I'll tell you there are good jobs and there are those that just plain suck. But guess what, someone has to do those jobs and recruiters have to find them. Some jobs deploy alot, others only sometimes. Some jobs have better promotion opportunities, others are extremely competative and promotion is slow.

Get informed and then approach your parents with a plan and some real info for them. Ask lots of questions. Nothing is stupid when you whole life may depend on it.

Sincerely,

K. Jones
Master Sergeant, USAF
Tinker AFB, OK

Answer 2

If you two are planning on staying togather, hang it up. It won't happen. However, I am glad to see that there are still young people that are willing to serve, no matter what the situation is. How ever, I always recomed that before anyone enlists, spend some time away from home, going to college or working. It will give you an appreciation and a dicipline you will need in the military. The biggest diciplinary problems in the military, are usually those that sign up immediately after high school.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with serving your country, your mom is anti war as you said and she probably doesn't want you to go and get killed, even though it is really safe for soldiers in the military. Yes we have lost some but in the big scheme of things it is safe.

If you and him go in MAKE SURE you get married before you sign any paperwork, that way you can be together or at least within 50 miles of each other. Even my husband who is in the military and me going to go into the military, we have to make sure that in our contract it says that we can be together.

Yes you can get a bunch of benefits and if you really want to do it then good luck and I am sure that it will be a growing experience for you both. Don't worry about what she says, you are 18 and because you are you can do anything you want.

Answer 4

Do not join it will be the worse mistake you make in your life.
The Military is being ripped off by this Group in power right now in the country they have not given them a real pay raise in 6 years, lowered there combat pay during a war and provided terrible health coverage.
Do the smart thing and go to a community college and get an education. the GI bill is not worth giving your life for.

Answer 5

theres nothing wrong with serving your county but there is something wrong with serving your country for the wrong reasons. you know you can get your college paid for by finacial aid! you don't need to join the military to go to school. i did the same thing when i was in highschool. my friend joined about a month before me than she talked me into joining. i was thinking about college and how i was going to pay, and i also had a boyfriend who was in the military. i met this recuiter who was so nice, i thought he would take care of me, as soon as i signed on the dotted line, his @ss ran off, he moved about an hour away and because i joined so quickly without thinking he wasn't around to answer my calls. he actually changed his number when he moved and didn't contact me to let me know. i found out by calling his office. one of the first things he told me was he never leaves none of his soldiers behind, that what makes me different from other recutiers. THAT BIG LIAR. i suggest if this is something you are thinking about, than think about it, don't jump into it and think about it later. it is so hard to get out once you get in. recutiers NEED people, they aren't willing to tell you how to get out. Actually no one is, not even the @ss wipes on here. Just think first and at least be open minded to others thoughts, like your parents and his too. they see things you are blinded by.

Answer 6

It's very admirable of both of you to want to serve our nation as valuable and distinguished members of our armed forces. However, it looks like Mom is freaking out because she's losing control over her baby boy. It has very little to do with his potential service in Iraq. But you two could make her a deal. As long as she is willing to foot the tuition for four years of college for both of you, then you can agree to stay away from the military.

Congratulations on your decision to enlist and take advantage of all that the armed forces has to offer and the best of luck to both of you.

Answer 7

I didnt even read the whole thing. This sounds stupid. If you are joining for him your joining for the wrong reason. Chances are if the two of you aren't married before you go in your going to get ordered to difference places. Make sure you do your research before you join. Go talk to someone in the military. Not a recruiter. They will tell you what ever you want to hear to get you to join. If you want to be with him get married. If you want to serve join. Just make sure your joining for the right reasons.

Answer 8

I would be an angry mother as well and I do not blame her
do you really want a very short life and you and your
boyfriend are going to have a short life
And you will never become adults
and you both are throwing away your lives for nothing
It is civil war in Iraq and out of control
you will get killed in action

Answer 9

So you are doing this for the benefits? I think I'd be pretty peeved at someone brainwashing my kid like that too.

Bad enough they have to leave the nest to be a slave to any woman, but to have to enlist for a voluntary death sentence for the hope of having a life and salary is really sad and makes me so happy I don't live in America.

Answer 10

As a mother I can understand her fear. However, I don't think she has ANY right to be mad at you. Your parents are the one's who should counsel you before YOU MAKE UP YOUR OWN MIND! Your bf needs to deal with his own mother, not you. Make sure that you two are doing this for good reasons not JUST for the benefits. If you were my daughter I'd be proud of you! Good luck and God Bless both of you!