How can I keep my boyfriend from getting jealous?

Question

My boyfriend is always getting jealous of other guys. I don't know how to stop this though. He even gets jealous of guys that already have girlfriends. Is there anything I can do or say to help him be more confident and not worry so much? I'm scared that it's going to damage our relationship.

I talk to him a lot and try to make sure he knows how I feel about him. And I've been more aware about my flirting habits. Things seem to be getting a bit better. But I'm worried that he's just not telling me now. Is that better or worse?

Answer 1

Well, if he doesnt get jealous anymore, then you have a problem. However, just when you talk or are around other guys and hes with you, hold is hand, make sure you give him attention and include him in the conversation. If his jealousy is getting out of hand and you know for a fact that ( you arnt flirting or encouragin g him to get jealous, by touching or laughing with other guys) he could just be one of those guys that become very controlling. Do you ever get jealous when he touches or hangs around girls?

His jealousy shows that he cares, just hunny do your best to prevent him from getting jealous with your actions- sometimes we are unintentional flirts and dont even realise it.

Answer 2

Well it depends if you really are a flirt or not. I have several female friends who's subconcious body language when they're talking to anybody is quite flirty and this causes problems in their relationships, they don't mean it but they still do it. In this case your bf just needs to accept that about you and decide whether he trusts you or not once and for all and then get over it. You should be conscious of it too and reign it in a bit if you do this, you need to have a look at yourself with a critical eye.

If however, you're not a flirt as I've described maybe it's all on his side. This type of jealousy can be extremely frustrating in a relationship and yes it can destroy it. It's usually a sign of immaturity and insecurity on his part. Again he needs to just sit down and decide whether or not he trusts you and then make a decision based on that, and then he needs to stick to it. Hopefully the decision will be that he does trust you and he'll sort it out rather than no he doesn't 'cos then it's all over!

Answer 3

Sound's like he is very insecure. The first thing I would ask is what is your relationship based on? If it's all physical then he is probably afraid that someone is trying to take that away from him (or that other guys are better looking than he is and that is a threat to him). Make sure you are doing lots of different things together (talking, sharing, going to the park, playing games, etc.) as this will build some security. If he can't handle you talking to other guys than he needs to get over it or find another girlfriend (as trust is a crucial part of any remationship).

Answer 4

To be honest, jalousie is a sign of an insecurity. I am not aware of the details of your relations ship but from first hand experience. A little jealousy is not a bad thing at all but a lot really is.To much jealously can leave a lot of tension in a relationship. TO say the least. lol... You will know what to do when your ready. No one wants there relationship to end up this way. I wish you the best I really do...

Answer 5

You can't. Jealousy is a character flaw from within, not from without. It comes from his perception of how the objects of his desire are desired by other people. It has to do with how much he misplaces his trust in other people. It has nothing to do with you beyond you being one of the objects of his jealousy. As long as he finds you to be attractive, and he percieves you to be attractive to others, he will either become jealous of them, or he won't.

You can either take it as the enormous vote of attraction he has for you, or you can take it as a sign that your relationship is going to be forever tainted by the fear that you will someday find some other guy to be more attractive than he and dump him. Your choice.

What isn't your choice, at all, is that you have no control over his jealousies of anything. You never have, and you never will.

Even if you were to follow some of my fellow-contributors' advice, and leave him, you will only be reinforcing his opinion that he was right to be jealous of somebody else.

But, again, this is something that only he can fix. Not you.

Answer 6

Just show him that you care, and tell him that he has no reason to be jealous, it's him that you are with, not some other guy. If you didn't wnt to be with him then you wouldn't be.
Tell him that although it may make him jealous that other guys find you attractive, he should be proud to have you on his arm. Also tell him that a relationship can only work if each person completely trusts the other.
Be careful, don't let his jealousy get out of hand!
Take care xXx

Answer 7

Always think positive..he is jealous just because he loves you so much. You must let him have the confident in you by action and not only by words. Care for him more and I believe he will obviously see the different between how you treat normal friends and him.

Of course he will lack of confident if he sees you treating everyone (other guys) the same, including himself when he expect it to be different.

Answer 8

well, if you are flirting with the other guys, then you need to stop because that is probably a big part of it... if your not doing anything to make him jealous, then talk to him and tell him that he is the one you like or else you would not be going out with him!! if he doesnt understand that... then you should end the relationship cuz you need trust to be a good couple!!

Answer 9

Don't go out ever. Order take aways, only to be delivered by a female. Clean his house, wash and iron his clothes. Spend at least four hours everyday with his mother.
Have his dinner ready on time when he gets home. Don't watch T.V. or listen to music. Listen when he talks to you, don't answer back. Let him have a boys night out whenever he feels like it. When he comes home drunk in the early hours of the morning get up from your sleep and help him to bed. Have sex with him when he demands it.
Do all what I said and you will soon not give a toss about damanging your relationship. Tell him to grow up and get a life. It sounds he's just got out of kindergarten. You are going out with a wally. Be careful.

Answer 10

Take a step back, analyse the situation forget about your feelings and his feelings. Then objectively ask, should there be any jealousy aka: if I were him, would I have be suspicious. If the answer is yes, then try to comfort and dissuade that feelings. If the answer is no, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone its just a normal emotion, just make sure to draw a line.