We broke up a while ago, but we were still sexually involved for a while,he stressed that he didnt want to be in a relationship with anyone cuz he wasnt ready yet, finally I met someone that I really like and I left my son's father alone once he found out he proposed to me and because I knew he was playing games I didnt take him serious. Now he took my child to some woman house and my baby told me he saw his dad with underwear on, of course I was upset,when I asked who the woman was he lied as usual, now it all came out that he lives with her, when he wants so he says! but I feel like I need to meet her because when my 6 yr old child is with his dad he will be around her too!! I dont know how comfortable I am about this. What should I do?
2007-03-14 15:11:14 · 11 answers · asked by ms_diva927 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you have every right to know who your child is spending time with
make sure you approach the situation with tact though - you dont want your ex to think you're jealous
2007-03-14 15:14:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear lord I understand. Three years ago I had a little girl. I was madly in love with this man. He left me for the same reasons.. He was not ready yet. Then My daughter went to her dad.s house. Her father called me on Sunday and said some thing about he had to work he needed to keep My daughter. I asked him where my daughter was. He said, " It is none of you business where you daughter is." Needless to say I went looking. My daughter was with a strange woman.I asked who she was and she said she was my daughters fathers girl friend... This had not gone over to well he and I had been intimate not even a week ago. ( girlfriends later, I met every one.) He meets one he keeps she has been apart of my daughters life for a year now. I really like her. My rule was he could do what ever he wanted when his daughter was not there but when she is there he needs to be a father. You can not parade different people thew your child's life. If this girl in his life was to be a more stable long term figure in my daughters life I had to meet them before they could take care of my daughter. At least with out him there, he has to woke almost every weaned. She is a really nice young woman , my daughter really likes her. So it worked out well in the end. My answers is yes mam meat that woman know the care your child is receiving when not in your care.
I am so sorry for the long story
2007-03-14 15:29:42 · answer #2 · answered by savannah_smiles25 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your child is living at this woman's house when he is in his Father's custody, you owe it to your child to have a relationship with this woman that will help the two of you raise your son in his best interest.
My husband has two ex-wives, children with both. The First wife was really helpful to me as to how to best deal with her children; what her rules are and how she wants to raise her children. The second mother, (I have been with my hubby for five years this spring) has nothing to say to me and treats me very much like a non-entity. Although I have tried very hard to have a relationship with this woman so I could help raise HER children, she refused and it did nothing but create hassles and difficulties for the children.
Call her up and invite her for coffee. If she is to be a permanent fixture in your son's life, you and she should work together to raise your son to the best of BOTH of your abilities.
Be comfortable... you meet your child's teachers don't you?
Your only obstacle is your ex... Good luck.
2007-03-14 15:22:22 · answer #3 · answered by shoestring_louise 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I must say that you are a good person for wanting to meet his new girlfriend. My boyfriend has a son, and all he gets from his baby momma is drama. She also has another son from her new boyfriend. My b/f told her when he was serious about someone, she would be the first to know and he has always been honest with her. Even though she has a man, she said she was going to kill herself and all kinds of crazy stuff. I always wanted to just meet her and let her get to know who her son is around, but she's a drama queen. I did my part. I tip my hat to you because you are showing class. Hopefully she is willing because as long as she is with him, she has to deal with your son and you should be comfortable with that.
2007-03-14 15:20:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You met some one else, and he met some one else. what is the difference, there is none. Be friendly with his new gf, that will make it easier on your daughter. As for as seeing her Dad in his underwear, you might speak to him about that, for the daughters sake, but at least he was not naked. Your ex has as much right to move on as you did. Both you and the Dad need to talk things over and do not put this child in the middle of anything.
2007-03-14 15:20:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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Many girls break up with their significant others, is because they need time to figure things out. Don't take it personally, if you want her back, you have to show her you can help her. If you love her then you'll let her go, that's it. Not everybody who you date in high school you end up staying with, the chances are extremely unlikely. So if she doesn't want to, then you need to let her go.
2015-02-04 06:57:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should meet the woman that your son is being exposed to. your ex is showing completely irresponsible behaviour by not tell you about her and giving you son a chance to get used to her. if she is a good and responsible person then she will agree to the meeting with you. this should only be a discussion about your son, not a confrontation. if she turns it into one or refuses to meet with you then you have an obligation to protect your son. go see a lawyer and discuss your options.
2007-03-14 15:25:31 · answer #7 · answered by allkoei 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. You cannot control who is or who is not in your son's father's life. If you believe your son's father will take care of him, physically, emotionally, morally and spiritually that is all you need to know. Sounds like you really don't want to let the man go and are about to create a 'Baby's Momma Drama' moment.
2007-03-14 15:18:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you have to meet her to make sure your kid is in an okay environment. it's probably not going to be easy, because us ladies often get a bit weird around the new girlfriend, but you have to for the well-being of your son's father, your son, and yourself. good luck!
2007-03-14 15:16:33 · answer #9 · answered by rubydoobydoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is being exposed to unacceptable behavior. So yes I would meet her, determine if she is responsible and mature, and if I didn't like her I would go to court and put limits on where and when my son's father could take him.
2007-03-14 15:15:33 · answer #10 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋