Hats off to the DADS! Under heavier scrutiny than MOMS will ever be!?

Question

I just asked a series question. The first was "What do you think of Dads that don't work?" and I got some ferocious answers like "he's a lazy sack of ...." and "Waste of life" and other such terrible things. The second questions was "What do you think of moms who don't work." and I got the answers of "Moms always work, just because they don't get paid they are working" and "Lucky, I wish I could be a stay at hom mom"

Why do people assume Dads don't work at home too? Are these people just narrow minded? I know my husband goes to work all day, then comes home and does the dishes and even folds some laundry! He out does me everyday~ he earns a huge paycheck, does some housework and get this, doesn't complain to me about it.

So, what do you say...Hats off to the MEN!

Answer 1

I noticed the series of questions you asked and figured this was the point you were trying to make. Like you I just sat back and watched the answers coming in.

I asked questions a while back about mothers who stay at home cleaning vs. fathers who stay at home. It was a shocker the difference in opinion I had. Most women said the father would have to keep a spotless home whereas when it came to mothers keeping a clean home many said "I'd rather spend time with my kids then cleaning." Woah! I was shocked. How is it that women can get away with excuses yet men can't even make a single mistake?

It really goes to show you the double standard in our society. I do feel that feminism has gone way too far. Instead of insisting equality we want to be superior with special treatment. I find that sad. I also find it sad that these men are normally treated with little respect yet "owe" women the world. For example--a women gets a corporate job but expects men to help her out with it. If a man got that job he wouldn't ask for help and probably wouldn't get any. If women want to be EQUAL then we just do things on our own. This doesn't mean take advantage of men. I feel many wives do take advantage of men as a matter of fact which goes back to men "owing" women something.

Interesting series of questions! It caught my interest right off the bat.

Answer 2

The people that answered that Dad's are a lazy sack of ... are people that see the guys out there that dont work and refuse to help with housework. It's unfortunate that people dont see what I see everyday. My fiancee is not the father of my children yet he took on the role right away from working full time to giving baths and cleaning the house. I go to school and work part time and do my fair share of everything too. That's how it should be 50/50. I congratulate stay at home dads and dads that help out even if they do work. Great job guys!

Answer 3

I say not all women are lucky enough to have men that do that. Most come home and sit on their butts, and dont help out one bit becuase they think they have been working all day and deserve to sit around and let the housewife keep on working. My husband when he was working in town was a big help, did dishes, and laundry too.., but now he works out of state on an oil rig and he only gets to come home occasionally. I wont see him again until May :( So me being a stay at home mom is pretty hard for me since I dont have him around to help, but I do know that its hard on him being away from us too and having to work such a hard job to support us. So I appreciate him.....AND if he wanted to be a stay at home dad, then I wouldnt mind that at all. I think stay at home dads are fantastic.

Answer 4

I say hats off to men that do what is a "mostly woman" type job. I think it is awesome when any parent takes on the responsibility of full time parenting. I do think that most women say negative things about SAHD because they feel resented in one way or another.... I know that with my husband i feel like he doesn't fully appreciate what i do, because i don't bring in income of my own and get EVERYTHING done in one day. At the same time, he says that he could never do it. So i think this is why there are such double standards on this subject.

Answer 5

It's pretty much a given that mom's always take care of the kids. I'll give you a scenario about "work at home dads". My ex boyfriend grew up with his dad in his office at home, his mom always away at work. His mother fixed dinner every night by 6, did the dishes, cleaned house and paid the bills. She even mowed the grass and changed the oil in her own cars. What did the dad actually do? I have no idea. His 2 other business partners were exactly the same... well they "claimed" they were disabled, although they played baseball every weekend.

For the dads that do help with raising kids and help maintain a household---good for you.

Answer 6

Yes, hats off to good men. As I've gotten older, I've noticed, too, that men are the ones who have to deal with the worst jobs automatically. And, I don't mean just taking out the trash. I mean, if someone in the family dies, it is a man who identifies or claims the body. If there is an animal to be buried, it is the man who digs the hole and carries the corpse. If someone is threatening the family, the man must stand up and protect it, even against overwhelming odds. If some crazy nut job president wants to start a war to make money for his friends, it's mostly men who will die and be maimed.

They feel just as deeply as we, and yet, without question, they plunge into these most distressing of tasks.

Answer 7

I don't know where you picked up that guy.. but I'd at least say HATS OFF TO YOUR MAN!! Couldn't say the same for mine! He comes home, plays computer, x box, or watches tv. My son refuses to have his dad change a diaper, read him a story, pretty much do almost anything for him... Prob cuz he never really did it that much anyway and my son just feels more comfortable with me. I do ALL the laundry, if my husband runs out of clothing he acts as if it's my fault ... I do the dishes, and have to pick up after everyone! It's very frustrating. So while there are EXTREME cases of men who do clean, and help out... There's also the OTHER EXTREME man out there who thinks his 8hrs at work is good enough! So it's hard for me to say Hats off to just MEN in general!!

Answer 8

Did you use the same wording?

I didn't see it, but in my answer about the Mom's I would have said much the same.

I think it's up to the couple to figure out for themselves whether and who should stay home.

I agree a lot of people think THEY should make this decision for everyone else.

But dads under heavier scrutiny than moms?

No.

Moms tend to get MUCH more blame and criticism than dads.

Hats off to you and YOUR man, certainly, but he is an exception.

A LOT of dads think their only job is out of the house, and the wife "who's home all day doing nothing" should do all the home-keeping work.

Heck, they feel the wives should do all the home keeping stuff even when the wife works full-time or more outside the home.

Not all, but many.

In short, I think on several fronts, you are over-generalizing.

Answer 9

I agree "Hats off to the MEN!" If we could afford for one of us to stay home, I would love for hubby to be a stay at home dad. This job is just as tough as going out to work every day. Being a stay at home mom or dad is a lot of work. I give any man credit who can take on the job!

Answer 10

I agree. My husband an I both worked and I was offered a really great job making more than we made together. The problem was the hours were really weird. We decided together that he should stay home for a few years so I could pursue this. He took more crap for that decision. Was treated like an outcast from other men and my family treated me with pity. It was disgusting and really messes with his self esteem. Now our kids are grown and he has worked ever since. The funny thing is, the people that harrassed him before now come to him for a job. Total double standard.