Ok. here is the problem. My brother moved back to our home town yesterday. I still live here. My brother and I had a very rocky relationship and have hardly spoken in 8 years. In the past he has done some very cruel things to me, including sabotoging a past relationship with my son's father. He says he has changed and wants to start anew with the family. And were it seems he has changed a bit, I still see some of the old him. I am married now, and he has already bonded with my husband and my children. I have told my husband my feelings about this. I am afraid he may also sabotoge this relationship.
2007-03-14 14:26:11 · 12 answers · asked by victoria E. 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It was very wise of you to let your husband know what has been going on between you and your brother but try to forgive your brother for his past behaviors and give him a chance to show you that he has truly changed. If problems start to occur again then you might need to keep your brother out of your life until he finally grows up and becomes the man he ought to be.
2007-03-14 14:32:28 · answer #1 · answered by Bethany 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be open and prepared for anything. It it wise to have caution in any relationship, more so if you have previous experiences with him playing you and sabotaging your relationships.
But also know that you are the one with the power to live you life you want it to live. Being in doubt may cause you to be the source of you own problems. I know of personal experience that any relationship that is easily sabotaged by others was not in fact stable enough to begin with.
Try to think that you brother has no power over your live. If you turn against your brother while your husband and child likes him, you are likely to turn them against you as well. if you are open with your family about your feelings and are reasonable about the relationship with your brother it is more likely that your family will recognize your brother as a thread and will side with you and see him the way he really is-
Of course only if your brother will try again to sabotage you. If not, have a happy time with your reunited family!
2007-03-14 21:37:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are not. you never know what he'll do next. it's a good thing that you've already told your husband about your feelings regarding your brother. i know this type of person.i'm not trying to add more fuel into the fire, but it is best that you just be careful and don't let him interfere with your relationship between your husband and kids. good luck.
2007-03-14 22:24:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should give him a chance to see if he really has changed. You just need to make sure you communicate with your husband and make sure that he doesn't sabotage the relationship.
2007-03-14 21:37:23 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just make sure that your husband does not allow any sabotaging to go on. And if your bro starts acting shady, cut him off. Also don't let him be alone with your kids.
2007-03-14 21:30:13 · answer #5 · answered by mystery_me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe not irrational... but cautious. And it would seem that you have reason. If you've told your husband about the history between your bro and you have his support then relax, sit back and see if the leopard really did change his spots.
2007-03-14 22:00:42 · answer #6 · answered by larsgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your husband some credit...that he'll see through your brothers games
2007-03-18 20:47:57 · answer #7 · answered by Jenna P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your relationship with your husband is strong then you have nothing to worry about.
2007-03-14 21:30:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has bonded with your husband and your children, I believed he deserves a third chance from you.
2007-03-14 21:33:28 · answer #9 · answered by september 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How about getting counseling?
The kind where you both participate!
Family counseling like Catholic Charities is inexpensive.
Counseling can be 'great'!
2007-03-14 21:31:55 · answer #10 · answered by Double O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋